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Anthony make fuck August 31, 2011 at 1:24 am i would like enchantment above all things i want to find love in all of your being we've got it with your hand in mine we can take it there you taste like the air if we could go back i'd take you in slower savor every moment of starting to see if are we like addicts? constantly needing more i'd like to overdose, my love and then do you some more. some thoughts August 31, 2011 at 12:21 am I was thinking about how a powerful person can dominate someone with money or fear but sometimes love i guess picture jay-z or kanye who wouldn't want to roll with them? i mean, most people would do pretty much anything to achieve a life like that women have an interesting part in this whole thing no matter what your status, you're going to want to be with someone its obvious that these ultra powerful people are going to use that status to attract women maybe not even on purpose but there's no way around it i feel bad for those people because they might never know what true love is but then i guess it depends on what you think true love is or how love comes to be because i'm sure they could find someone that wouldn't let the money or fame or power be an issue that's not to say that she or he even doesn't enjoy the luxuries but their love transcends their lifestyle. i had a lot to say about dominating people in other ways specifically fear or trickery behavioral modifications even but thats kind of a depressing topic and I've thought about it enough. NSFW XXX no children or family. August 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm her giggle sounded like panties dropping I knew I was in she wore fuck me eyes and had dick sucking lips clever little hands that moved way too fast while on all fours smacking her own ass she pulled her thong to the side and begged me to smash from behind she reached through her legs and pulled me in by my balls she screams like she means it pushes back and all she called it pink magic just find the spot below the clit and there you go, disappearing dick drenched her fingers with her spit and split them down along her lips she rubbed her cunt and squeezed my cock my steady thrusting got her off with out skipping a beat she parted her teeth stuck out her tongue and took me deep sucking like she's bad at it begging me to taste my kids just licked the tip with her tits on my nuts and she didn't flinch when she swallowed my cum Jessica Taylorhey come over. haha. August 29, 2011 at 7:17 pm Anthony Flammialol you wanna practice the magic trick? August 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm Jessica Tayloreyah but i have no gas to get out there. I have a whole room to myself tonight though. August 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm Anthony Flammiawhere's shaun? August 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm Jessica Taylorstaying at sarah's. August 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm Anthony Flammiaahh, I can't make it all the way to philly tonight. I was thinking of stopping by your sister's. August 29, 2011 at 7:20 pm Jessica Taylorouch. August 29, 2011 at 7:21 pm Anthony Flammialol. August 29, 2011 at 7:21 pm comment response poem. who was it? August 28, 2011 at 9:41 pm sinners put your hands up walk with me if you can't get enough let's find the edge together we'll just get high if shit gets rough we'll just fuck when life doesn't feel good real rough because if it doesn't hurt, it should i'm a new kind of villain robbing and pillaging all through the village people fear me but if they'd release their inhibitions they'd all learn to revere me stop worshiping god learn to love yourself use your body to the fullest it don't belong on that shelf there's nothing off limits use your mind to explore keep what you need and leave the rest at the door Let your pulse race against death once your heart stops there's nothing left. boredom in text August 27, 2011 at 6:06 pm weren't we all there once? there were things there were times emotions were we there once? i could have sworn... i would have put money on it (a ring if i could've afforded it) but the sky always will turn black and sometimes the storm proves to be too much so far it always has so far i'm not happy with how things went so far i've always chickened out so far i've always been shook so far i've run from the light sometimes i feel like i don't have a reason but sometimes i feel like what could i do? have you ever stood on one foot for the rest of your life? i'm looking for someone who will walk with me there exists excitement just waiting to be realized talk to me sit with me if you've ever known boredom make me an empty promise i can deal with the meanwhile it is never enough there is never enough my one true love will die some day or i will leave her alone either way there are hopes crushed can we learn to love what we don't know? what we can't predict? maybe. it takes faith can i love then? beings that i dont believe in Him? there's a way out i haven't found it yet the drugs i've done just make me FEEL better what is in a feeling? senses are fallible your wings are white mine are wide get lost in them but you should never trust someone like me my tongue is a snake your hips do not shake i could never be satisfied i could never do wrong i could never go crazy i think that i've gone crazy speak to me jog my mind let me know what i'm missing. paint on me write me a story with you in it say what you mean sit where you want keep no false friends love the truth what you know what you need what you cannot escape not only to which you can relate be unkind if it suits your mood i'll stick by you there's no way to sum this up for as long as my heart beats i will continue to feel i'm left to hope for whats real. short August 27, 2011 at 5:22 pm she's incredible everything I've ever wanted did you ever think this was achievable? yeah. but not in this life time. i wish that she was mine. bleh August 27, 2011 at 10:03 am I'm looking for someone who needs me, but not someone who's weak. Saw this cool movie. summed it up. August 26, 2011 at 9:02 pm ugh you make me fucking sick haven't you noticed her cheek quickly replacing her lips have you noticed that she cries while you're between her hips? she rolls face first in the pillow saying she knows you love the ass she just wants to turn her back don't you feel her squirm trying to escape your grip are you this naive? or do you think this is what love is you make her gag and you don't even know it. Kayli TegenIntense... I dig it... August 27, 2011 at 9:39 pm this is a pretty disgusting blog entry. August 26, 2011 at 12:58 am there's a lot of things we do in private we would never admit. it could be anything. like picking something from your nose and flicking it wherever it may land. or even biting the booger with your front teeth cause you like how it makes them stick together then spitting it out behind the couch. you ever scratch your ass really good on a hot sweaty day and get your hand all covered in ass juice? and then smell it everyso often for the rest of the day? ever clean out underneath your nails with someone else's toothbrush? i've got a few close friends that have brushed their teeth with a brush that touched my asshole. thats why you won't find my toothbrush in the bathroom. I keep that shit secure. my favorite fucked up thing i've ever done was got a ride from a girl who didn't know at the end of the ride she would be my ex. we smashed with hats off in the back seat of the parking lot of the apartment complex where the girl i was cheating on her with lived. i told her the deal, she broke up with me. and i went inside and got a blowie from girl #2. my dick was still wet from before and still all sensitive from just coming but i managed to get one of those numb half boners that kind of hurt but you can still do some damage with. one time i was baby sitting for my aunt and uncle and after the kids went to sleep I had a girl over. well, I had this girl over and we hooked up and whatnot and I fingered her and she had the nastiest snatch ever. like while we're going at it i started to notice the smell and my fingers were literally burning. she had the snatch of a komodo dragon. i thought i had b.o.  being the awesome kid I was I held her face with my smelly komodo cunt hands and when she realized the issue she got all embarrassed and left. i washed my hands over and over again but the smell was extra persistent. there was no butterfly hovering around that vagina. that thing should have been condemned. anyways, my aunt and uncle got home and i was helping my uncle with some computer shit and he asked me why i smelled like b.o.  I explained to him that i fingerblasted some skank in his kitchen while his kids slept in the living room. he suggested lemon juice. it worked. that means my uncle not only knows what nasty vag is like. he's experienced enough with it to know the cure. Amanda TaylorSmelly komodo cunt hands. This entry was awesome. August 26, 2011 at 1:06 am Jessica TaylorI've use your toothbrush. August 26, 2011 at 1:15 am Anthony Flammiamy asshole has used yours. August 26, 2011 at 1:17 am Caitlin McCormickbest thing i've read in awhile. sooo funny. if you've ever used my toothbrush to clean your ass, i will kick you in the face. August 26, 2011 at 1:26 am Dana Matranothat was hilarious, i had my boyfriend read that; while he was reading it i payed attention to his facial expressions and tried guessing which part he was at, that made it even better, he was cracking up by the end, thought it was great. August 26, 2011 at 3:25 am Anthony Flammiathis sucks. the first time i post something that's not a poem and is actually real people like it. i should write a biography, not poetry. August 26, 2011 at 3:34 am short spurts August 25, 2011 at 10:04 pm i like touching her when we're sweaty when its hot out and we're covered in dust i like kissing her first thing in the morning wake up and my arms asleep cause she was comfy i saw this girl the other day one of those people i sort of knew usually you meet people make some kind of generalization based on how they look past experience maybe engage in casual conversation but i just barely noticed this girl in her small dress with her dark hair i don't think we even shared a glance i wish i noticed her face. i could write a novel about her ass junk food August 25, 2011 at 9:27 pm how many times have i asked you to shut the fucking door nobody should have to deal with this hands shaking cause you're fiending for another hit you can barely get the needle in walk in and she's drooling on the floor at least she's smiling in a pile like a tramp clothes disheveled i see the bruises on her back and hickies on her tits I didn't put there it's come to this? Gregory Mendez - Cotton Fever August 24, 2011 at 12:46 pm every time im high i try to see myself in you dont trust reason only feeling proves its coming true when dawn cracks through  mirrors too its all coming true she'll dance on you in high heeled shoes its all coming true cotton feaver left me weaker than the photos prove old and used former truths tired of running too she'll dance on you in high heeled shoes its all coming true everyone you knew turned back on you everyone you knew hightailed away from you with all that you took for true everyone will dance on you they'll dance on you dance on you Anthony FlammiaThis kid is amazing. August 25, 2011 at 7:27 pm Anthony Flammiahttp://www.myspace.com/mendezistaken/music/songs/cotton-fever-mp3-77720983 August 25, 2011 at 7:27 pm theres this guy who thinks like this... August 24, 2011 at 4:34 am stop trying to reinvent the bone its drop to your knees time as soon as i get home i dont see your lingerie been thinking about your throat all fucking day how you gonna turn your nose up like we both dont know whats up like you'll get yours later on the up and up but we cant move forward till I bust a nut i'm not on some disrespectful shit its just i'm in touch with my needs kid and i'm the one you married bitch so come on baby scratch my itch Aubrey Alexandrai had one of those. August 24, 2011 at 6:33 am Anthony FlammiaI was sort of implying it was a good thing... August 24, 2011 at 7:05 am Aubrey Alexandrahahahh August 24, 2011 at 7:12 am Anthony Flammiatables turned i'd have the perfect chick lol August 24, 2011 at 7:13 am Aubrey Alexandrathats even funnier. August 24, 2011 at 7:14 am a not working in progress August 24, 2011 at 2:48 am excuse me is what you're really saying's that you can't handle this? or you dont wanna deal with it i knew before we started this would be a mess but don't leave me miss we both cry ourselves to sleep but we have it all in our dreams i thought we'd finally found our stride i thought we found a place with him still being your guy you kept me at arms reach and watched me fall i know we're shaken and stirred but this won't dissolve i know you're in love but love tortures us all loving someone doesn't mean giving up your life i know i scare you hun i have to live with me too i know what its like to be afraid i know what its like to drag through days i've kissed lips that tasted cold and breathed breath that spun my world i've broken hearts and crushed souls i regret that to this day but what doesn't feel right shouldn't remain so you've made it me or him you've calculated and dialed a plan in that will keep you free of guilt and sin but can you really never think of me again am i a problem you can ignore? am I the problem? (nope) there isn't a problem though you've been told there is learn to live for you before you get too old and miss whats truly beautiful about human emotions churning out unreasonable doubt lingering like a bad taste in your mouth i saw you reaching out so i kissed on your pinkies the other eight fingers stretching out longingly palms reaching for my cheeks arms reaching for my waist eyes open and bliss don't mix go with what your gut feeling is don't take this twisted miss if you wanna keep playing the hand you dealt yourself keep going all chips in i'm sure you'll get used to the lack of swing in things of dead flesh begging to flush of hairs that will never stand on end of words that don't melt your soul of looks that keep you in your clothes 'just tell me are you succumbing to the cold? are you thrown in the towel are you resigned to a life spent crying in the shower whats the matter babe? soap in your eyes again? yeah everythings the same old same what makes you blossom, flower? does he sing to you cause he means it does he float on your words has he tasted what your fingers have to offer? i cant remember a thing love blurred the lines between when i felt your hair on my neck while you kissed my chest and when i said goodbye sat in my car for an hour trying to leave you right there now i'm wishing i never left what if i spilled our beans maybe he'd have let us help fix him up maybe he's looking for an out too maybe he wants to take the hat off that bitch he kissed right in front of me acting like 3 seconds lips locked is how old friends should be we were walking to meet you (if you think real hard you'll realize when this was you were ahead waiting for us oh youre cute with all that trust oh its funny thinking that just cause around you he dont know how to act that other bitches aint flopping to their knees cause trust me hun they see the same things that you see but being underdeveloped in no need of a real man to make love he can satisfy their needs) that temporary loss of balance glancing over his shoulder as we walked away said it all and he noticed me noticing so i swore my lips were sealed but still i type away and though I love being deceitful it was never my intention for shit to go down this way   justsoyouknow  (this whole verse is very much almost completely a fabrication) thats the only reason i thought we should play thats why i thought you deserved to stray i was hoping it would help you to shape the way you think to realize that your dreams dont have to stay your dreams that if he can have his fucking cake and shove it down your face that you can taste the world too rethink decisions you've made youre like a frantic fawn looking for a way through the forest followed the first young buck to show you where the heart is but you're too naive to get what you need to thank him for the ride and say its time that you leave im uncomfortable join me i hope the words i say haunt you when you sleep i hope you dont defriend me and these aren't my last words you read i hope you realize we're all wrestling with being i hope you value me and understand the meaning of strangers interactions a draw thats unimaginable not knowing you now is unfathomable i know i've said a lot but i'm not expecting a reaction don't forget what youre giving up thats all I'm asking Anthony Flammiaedited to take all the really edgy stuff out. if you read this in the first 30 minutes ignore that one and reread the disney version August 24, 2011 at 3:22 am the story of my life August 24, 2011 at 12:52 am you may not be in love at first that's your sign we ran into each other walking the streets looking for somebody we never did meet we were both ready for the taking heading to apartments vacant tossing salads topped with artificial bacon flipping through empty television stations sleeping in a bed with an empty side wake up again to drone through life ambling with disregard for pace looking for a girl to put a smile on my face how many days will we share earth blissfully unaware always a nagging despair hinting in the air cashier check out waste up checks out cute smile thin wrists chin up chest out apron tied cant hide her waist receipt retreat no gall to ask her out she's everything I think about. I wonder if she's even around. August 23, 2011 at 11:47 pm I'm just saying you can do better. Tell me, have you heard that lately? Fuck that nigga that you think you found. If you picked up that means he's not around. Fuck that nigga that you love so bad. I know you still think about the times we had. I don't care that he's my best friend some things die before others begin I'm just saying you've got me baby this is the feeling of a lifetime, there ain't no maybe I just want to hold your neck dear I just want to feel you near I just want to forgo fear I just want to whisper in your ear take a breath with me taste that air kiss my mouth hun with my hand on your back we're an asymptote to passion she invokes feelings you could not imagine a bare skinned walk through war torn lands nothing could keep me from seeing you again nom nom August 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm this was supposed to be heartfelt and meaningful but let me tell you, this chick is divine. she haunts my mind. I'd kill to be between her thighs. I want to make her cum 'cause I'd love to see her smile.blah blah blah. we rode the surface darling four days of letting you imagine, 'what if?' led to four months of you wondering why you didn't I heard you've got some time to yourself... why don't you fill your gas tank and empty your doubt we don't even have to talk, I just want to eat you out Meaghan MacDonaldWow August 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm Anthony Flammiamakes you wet doesnt it? August 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm aww shucks. go for the kiss girls. August 20, 2011 at 1:24 am whao she is adorable I just cant stop staring wondering if she's avoidable while she ropes me in a vixen with hell's eyes filled with desire begging me to throw myself upon her pyre you let your shoulder hang out the neck of your shirt that wiggle in your hips is starting to drive me berserk you grace me with conversation in short sporadic spurts every time you walk away I feel alone so bad it hurts whats it gonna take for you to notice me I'd be steady by your side like a tall oak tree in my branches you can hide on my trunk you lean baby I love you why don't you agree Aubrey AlexandraThat's so funny. Love it. August 22, 2011 at 3:44 am wrote this while I was driving. It raps pretty hard if you're good at that type of thing. August 19, 2011 at 12:40 pm I'm Aesop Black and I've got some shit to say to you I'm an intellectual with some odd points of view I live a life without boundaries there's nothing i wouldn't do (twice) you'll never confound me at this level no one's around me I say shit that will put you on edge ask me about Hitler and I'll say, "I'm on the fence..." Man's will to dominate defines me my reality's not something you'd believe I think thoughts of which you could not conceive I don't exceed religion but let's say I've got God pegged he said he'd judge us all but for me he'll look the other way I'll build my own kingdom and if you want you can join me the only place you'll ever be where you can really think where we'll dutifully listen but always speak our mind and it really doesn't matter if your opinion is mine come find me. easy breezy beautiful... August 19, 2011 at 7:41 am to say she is beautiful would be to admit that I'm not creative enough to describe her she's got an easy smile and hippy feet and I'm ashamed to admit she's a stranger it used to be a crush, now its more a sugar rush but I cannot lie the sight of her still makes me blush there's so much I don't know and it's mostly in my head all I know is I'd like to taste her flesh before I'm dead she'll grab you by your eyes and listen to your words hold both of your hands and make you love the world she'll beat your drum with her heart, lub dub lub dub lub dub and by the end of the night you'll be sure you're in love but it was one too many beers that turned this too good to be true as you lean in for a kiss she'll introduce her boyfriend to you and it's typical of her to give you one night at a time no matter what progress you make you'll always waste your time and its time to go as the party's winding down try to catch her alone to drag a kiss across her cheek as you try to make her lips she smiles meekly at the ground holding the tips of your fingers you make fake plans for next week why do we get the urge to cage the beautiful? learn to appreciate the moment, only take your fill because it might be years or never but if you try to make it clever you'll end up on your own alone and cold for forever she's a dove, the embodiment of free love she walks with the swagger of angels up above I tried to tell her how I felt but she beat me to the pass let me down easy the epitome of class so I'll forget until the next time shel wraps me up again I cannot tell a lie, I know its hurts but I'm looking forward to the spin. (most of this has nothing to do with reality but that's ok) more to come soon August 18, 2011 at 4:49 am let me make this clear kid you're a clown you juggle balls in your mouth while he's breathing on your back I know your praying for a reach around you like to clear coat your face and call it hustling you only jackem off cause you love to hearem scream they say listen little gentleman dont neglect the balls if i wanted warm water I would have waded in the falls gotta shave your upper lip just to keep your customers happy since sixth grade sucking dick you wanna chop it up with us slappy get back to your corner knee pads and the koran ever think jacking off for crack rocks might be misconstrued as wrong? Jessica Tayloroh my August 18, 2011 at 11:15 am something i wrote a while ago. the last bit is whack but kind of funny. August 18, 2011 at 4:00 am there's too much unsaid that's voluting my head I’ve said things to hurt (lies) and things to mend (tries) I’ve placated and bereaved told bold faced lies to aid in your healing to pardon my envy and it's time for this to stop before this grows too heavy we've come to far to lose ground now one step backwards will send us stern over bow and the water's too cold to make the swim out *click* so you've told me (and I trust you...) to just spill my guts to lay it all out no ifs ands or buts and I’m scared and I’m weak my legs can't handle this riffleting mass I’ll feign to purport the flame of a candle I’ve reached out and touched I know I know better but that doesn't mean much the beautiful snake I’ve seen in the yard though you bear your fangs to not reach out is hard succubus, in your clutches this nightmare is bliss stab me again just one more kiss oh he's come along? I’m his back-up support I’d tell you about it but I fear your retort I’ll make you give this up this game that we play one day to be close the next run away it’s as if I repulse you from inches away from across the room all day I could stay let my words dance around you endearment run free wrap yourself in my song my love is free and you take full advantage of my heart that doth skip when you walk in the room oh a sorrowful blip it says give up my son there is reason to quit on her every action is no way to live but I feel the murmur starting to lift and the tidal forces beginning to shift I’m awaiting the balance from which we can start working through matters that trouble the heart and maybe the kinks out enough oats have been sewn and you’ll finally see what you should have yet known it’s at least worth a shot and if it turns to be true              AF you can give up this game and let me love you suffix: this is a good example of letting a simple real life emotion spiral into erraticism. I find that maintaining a rhyme scheme and pulse draws the biggest twists out of what otherwise would have been pretty bland and obvious. But i dont try to make things feel. Almost everything is the first draft unless i reread it later and really get an itch for a change. i never set out to rhyme, i dont think rhyming should be so attache to poetry, but once it starts its hard to break away from. things surface as chunks in my brain and it almost hurts to change my initial thought. I like misusing words or completely stretching their meanings. an attache is like a diplomatic specialist. most would think i forgot the d in attached, but i found a connection between a person being a diplomat for a cause and rhyme being a diplomat for poetry, promoting it. i usually dont try to explain anything i write. if you have read this far you have got to be bored out of your mind, so do me a favor and use some of this extra time you have to critique the shit i write. point out weaknesses or word play you enjoyed. better yet, id like to hear someone interpret a piece or all of a poem of mine. or just say it sucked dont read anymore. blah blah blah August 15, 2011 at 2:00 pm lately i've been wondering why we wait our whole damned lives to fucking die it's just lately i've been missing the bright side and I've lost my lust for being alive all I can hope's that soon someone will come and steal this gloom someone to love who will love me too someone who will make it so that nothing matters someone who can suture all my tatters someone who can hold me someone who will listen someone with whom I can finally glisten someone I'd be proud to introduce to my dad and someone I can plan with who the years I can span with  but I'm flawed and I'm fucked and so far I've messed everything up is it half full or half empty? what cup? I'm tired of blindness I've had enough so don't hesitate girl I know that troubles not what anyone is looking for but if you can relate girl then give me a chance lets make a date girl I promise not to harm you I'm down on my knees just hoping to charm you this is me as simply as I can be I promise to say what I mean if you promise to do the same for me, girl life is too short to beat around the bush I won't wait till the last dance to do what I should so I'm holding out my hand darling spilling my guts let's try this out yeah enough is enough let's move past pleasantries and talk about our dreams let's kiss on the mouth hun and see what it brings if you taste like my future if I'm what you desire then come on let's go girl let's light this fire I'm talking every waking moment dear I'm the guy to rely on and I know that your strong that you can stand on your own but give me a little trust I'm who you should lean on free yourself of the worlds weight you'll wonder why'd you ever wait I am just who I am you are just who you are but if there's a spark of excitement let's see who WE are this a fucking love poem a what I fucking want song if you wanna sing along then baby let me know I want you up in the chorus I want her I want you I want this... Kayli TegenYou are sooo fricken talented! I totally dig it =) August 15, 2011 at 3:46 pm Aubrey Alexandrayou an asshole. get famous with me already. August 16, 2011 at 2:57 am Breanna Leonard<3 August 16, 2011 at 2:24 pm this is bad August 14, 2011 at 10:09 pm my feelings are hard to hide you can read them on my smile I wear my heart on my sleeve if you have doubt, there is no need I've got my head between my knees a paper back in which to breathe you're surging through my brain it's either love or I'm insane with your face in my hands I hold my entire world the oceans and land the continents span can't nearly compare to my girl i say corny things without the slightest care if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here I'm sure that you know I'd do anything for you because, darling, I fucking adore you. Dorcas TaylorI really like this...it's cool August 14, 2011 at 10:41 pm this has a pretty creepy tone, but it's pretty trick August 13, 2011 at 8:43 am Honey, this is starting off all cute and cupid like I'm afraid of saying something stupid I brushed my teeth twice and fixed my hair and suggested a movie at my place or yours gooning the couch over how far from you to sit don't really know you yet but I want to steal a kiss I'll trade the movie for a view of your silhouette with you I'm ready to play emotional roulette I'm a dreamer, romantic; I'm already naming our kids and even though we still haven't actually met yet... I want to lay you down on trust with my arms and show you how two bodies become one I'm at the point in my life where I'm looking for love apparently god walks with me, he sent an angel from above I want to spend the day with my fingers in your hair I'll breathe easy, for if I'm with you I'll have no cares love blah blah and more bullshits and flowers. hell yeah August 13, 2011 at 3:31 am Sittin' in the living room on the flo' hunger pain got me on some migraine shit but I'ma maintain Nigga got two or three dollars to my name and my homies in the same boat goin' through the same thing ready for a caper, steady plottin' for the paper we been livin' in the dark since April on the candle, gotta get a handle my homie got a 25 automatic added to the gamble nigga get the phone book look up in the yellow page lemme tell you how we'll fittin to get paid we gon' order take out and when we see the driver we gon' stick the 25 up in his face, let's ride steppin' outside like warriors into the notorious southside one weapon to the four of us, hidin' in the corridor til' we see the beam from the car headlights white boy in the wrong place at the right time soon as the car door open up he mine we roll up quick and put the pistol to his nose by the look on his face he probly shitted in his clothes you know what this is, it's a stick up gimme the dough, from the pick up you ran into the wrong niggas this turned bad quick August 12, 2011 at 3:23 am two hearts with the same persuasion too bad they were forced into estrangement I'm left with a life of wandering around aimless carrying the burden of a missed engagement with nothing to beat for I'll atrophy constantly wondering what could have been now I've got half of the pieces to a puzzle the girl with the rest isn't around to finish it I'm starting to think love's not worth the trouble but I can't convince myself to quit she rode the other side of my emotional seesaw satisfied with her ride she jumped off now I'm like cereal without milk bread without butter, pasta without sauce           with no hope of being complete I drag my feet when I walk follow the tracks to my source of lament another cold night spent alone in my bed visions of sugar plums no longer dance in my head and I can't shake the thought that I won't love again that sounds emo but it's a reasonable thought see, if you believe that marriage should last forever and you're ready to marry you're one true love she's still the one regardless of if you end up together but love doesn't happen according to plan so don't try to protect you're heart I don't think that you can you just have to learn to live with the scars Meaghan MacDonaldCellar door August 12, 2011 at 7:15 am Anthony Flammia? August 12, 2011 at 10:54 am Meaghan MacDonaldFrom donnie darko, "Cellar door" was thought to be the most beautiful of all the english language. August 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm Anthony Flammiaoh cool. party at my house tonight. bring your fine ass over? August 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm Meaghan MacDonaldThink I may be ac bound August 12, 2011 at 2:58 pm Anthony Flammiai have ac. August 12, 2011 at 3:32 pm Meaghan MacDonaldHmmm, that is a tough one August 12, 2011 at 5:11 pm lusty August 11, 2011 at 10:11 pm i knew that it was on when you shot me that glance my hand on your throat i couldnt help but make a pass in the cul de sac up against your car i wanted to rip your shirt and fuck you right there dig my fingers into skin drag my teeth across your lips my hips against your hips your tits against my chest we fucked under the stars ignoring passing cars we fucked until tomorrow now its just memories we harbor Joey would think this is gay. August 10, 2011 at 12:43 am we can mourn the loss of life or celebrate a life well lived we can remember the gregarious always hilarious sometimes nefarious the prone to precarious friend who'd hope we vicariously lived through memories of him with jokes to cash in and sleeves on our head we'll sleep when we're dead attitudes come to my funeral with a bottle of gin and try to pick up a chick there cause that's what he would do the jokes on us he had his fun now he's waiting with angels above always one to get a laugh while we stand in line to get in we'll hear from within him saying where have you guys been!? on the rainy nights to come take solace in the storm 'cause when you hear the thunder clapping joey's got god laughing. we cant help but smile with moist eyes talking about how he touched our lives why is it always like the song you dont know what you got till its gone i had a kid I'd gladly die for who i could call no matter what who'd help me bury bodies with no ifs ands or buts we'd cut school all day to spread our adolescent wings we experimented with life together dealt with the trouble that it brings just as we found are stride and began a healthy life a dark cloud rained upon us a heavy dose of strife i'll drag my feet for a while but i will not forget the times we had were wild can't wait to see you again. from a few years ago August 9, 2011 at 7:23 am i suppose we're long overdue for a drawn out email here we go ill title this state of my noodle ive been in iraq for 6 months ive been mobilized 11 months ive been alive 21 years that makes about 5% of my life spent away from where id like to be and about 10% if you count all of the army shit ive done im not saying i havent enjoyed parts of it but i think you get the idea 10% of my life doing only what other people tell me im allowed to they say if you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water he will jump out but if you put him in a pot of cool water and slowly heat it up he will die im in a pot of water thats heating up i cant put into words what i want out of life i try all of the time and i always come back to sitting on a bench next to someone and theres this feeling i attach to that person usually love, the kind of friendship its ricky brandon you autumn my dad, whoever usually a few stragglers sitting indian style all of us bullshitting or sitting quietly i want the average day in my life to be that pace during the average day i want to feel as if im being pulled towards a few people towards meaningful discourse shared experiences i think that has something to do with an instinctual urge to be social my social tendancies have abnormal boundaries though thats another story for another day i love being around smart people not technically smart or street smart neccesarily just some flavor of clever mixed with a shot of passion gets people a long way in my book you fit that bill well with a side of curiosity which i enjoy exploring i feel like i need to check myself sometimes every now and then i tend to agrandize people dont take this the wrong way but theres no way your as awesome as i think you are its got to be mind tricks maybe you can explain that one when i let my mind wander i have some pretty crazy thoughts ive got a bipolar set of morals and ethics on one side im overwhelmed by apathy i have no remorse watching someone die stealing is a matter of convenience lieing is like breathing on the other hand, with people i care for im the opposite maybe its just how i balance the yin and the yang i suppose we all do it differently i wonder how wonderfully benovolent people release the darkness? maybe they dont maybe some people arent afflicted with a dark side i think we all are to a point everyone laughs at someone who trips and falls if you heard about someone suffacating in the rectum of an elephant youd probably laugh despite the fact that they died youll probably never take the time to ask each bum you see his story im sure there are a decent number of homeless folk that just have shit luck they deserve some help why the fuck not? i really dont need a fancy car is it wicked of me to not care about that bum? some people try to make a difference by helping out a little bit here and there makes them feel good about themselves in the big picture a day at a food pantry is nothing just drags out the innevitable if everyone volunteered if everyone cared would anything be fixed? maybe i know thats not a good reason to help out when you can i dont have to be like everyone else but im also calculated and try not to do things in vane i dont fold my underwear and dont like people who do its mathmatically impractical and sensibly retarded i dont fight to spell properly either communicating is just that should my spelling be an issue to the point were it degraded the readability of what i wrote i might take action crappy examples, but examples none the less where am i going with this? i wanted to talk about relationships ive been thinking about them alot friends girlfriends lovers wives ex's is that the progression? thats what cable tv says hopefully friends is recurrent throughout the span of a relationship how do you meet someone new i mean, i know how its random its a smile its a hello usually its some society enduced engagement co workers classmates friends of friends fellow hobbyist rarely, if ever do you meet someone independant of the interworkings of you life people arent searching for that kind of connection 90 percent of the time i suppose bar dwellers are an exception to that rule and dating services kind of a cheap and foney way to meet someone, id say im a fan of random encounters rare as they be ive met alot of people through random chance but only went on a date with one annastasia man was she out of my league ice cream a long walk around wilkesbarre and a movie rediculous goodnight kiss on the corner downtown leaning against a light pole flickering away at us that was that she worked at a video store i wanted to make it in a video store so badly ohwell sex yeah not many comments really about sex its interesting to see what a person does with the lights low all exposed how they hold themselves how touch you having sex is an intense coordination if you think about it lust and attraction can make up alot of ground somehow lust can negate the need for comfort with a person its probably a disconnection more than anything you dont really care about the person more so the act? except when you really care about the person AND you fucking want them thats making love, thats a good fuck when her hand on your neck is paralyzing and you can taste the goosebumps on the small of her back when after all the thrashing and gnoshing  you really have no urge to be anywhere else jesus, if i ever tire of sex with someone please make me find someone new no one should have to go through  life without good sex after the first time a kiss turns you to stone im a sucker for a girl standing with her back to me odd right? im probably the only one see that girl that im really into brushing her teeth, washing a plate making some mac and cheese my hands do whatever they want like 'ready lefty?' 'lets go righty' and body doesnt have a choice god love sweatpants and skirts sorry about all of that im in desparate need of a gf and its only been a few months i just dont think she should have to miss out on how awesome a bf i am whoever she is shes sitting there thinking when am i going to meet that guy (3.2 months in case you see her and wanna let her know) that makes me melt everyday thrice a day and twice before bed this sounds vane but thats kind of why ive been going to the gym if i can find so much joy in a womans body why should i not offer that to her as well im not saying that physical appearance is the makeup of a relationship but ive got the brainpiece ive got im not going to change that for anyone at the end of the day no one dates someone just for their body  (maybe random fucks, but they dont count in my book anyway) its always their brain so me going to the gym and not eating 12 fatty cakes a day is like giving a gift to whoever should so happen to fall for my brain 'here, have my brain that you like and it comes with a complimentary set of biceps that you could sit on like little hills of goodness' pride is the downfall of many men i should say excessive pride but being satisfies with yourself and what you do kind of goes hand in hand with living a happy life so i dont feel bad when i get out of the shower and admire my lats that are trying their damndest to shape up im really happy with the mediocre progress ive made in realm of physical fitness i cant wait to find a girl who appreciates it and if she doesnt, ohwell i can go back to crispy creams and deep fried butter i always say this but i want to absolutely salvate when i see my girlfriend and i dont care what anyone else thinks it could be the way the freckles sit on her ski jump nose and her bangs are just a little too short to tuck behind her ear they always fall in her face its got nothing to do with her tits or gymnist legs unless it does in which case please sit on my lap and let me touch them mam ill kiss each freckle and when we are 90 and weve both wrinkled together i want to still have a 90 year old boner for her on that note, goodnight I excel at not giving a shit Experience has told me That interest begets expectation And expectation begets disappointment Aubrey Alexandramy two favorite parts: if you heard about someone suffacating in the rectum of an elephant youd probably laugh despite the fact that they died 'here, have my brain that you like and it comes with a complimentary set of biceps that you could sit on like little hills of goodness' oh and the end...so fucking true. August 9, 2011 at 8:30 am why dear do you let your conscience torture you August 7, 2011 at 11:33 pm no one said this was going to be easy you dont need to sort it out this evening there's something you want off your chest spit it out and then we'll deal with the rest i'm sorry i led off with the razzle dazzle the last feeling i thought i'd evoke was arousal until you i didnt know magnets were made of lips i didnt think i'd feel this way about your hips im talking about disgusting thoughts id go to extremes to get you off you've got me feeling some scummy things like fuck family and the trouble it brings like i'd trade everyone of them forever for you like i'd kill a baby with a baby if you asked me to tie them up with string and swing them like conkers this isnt love i think ive gone bonkers head over heals again and again if you've ever been love sick you'd know aids aint shit lol love is worse than aids Jessica Tayloryou're ridiculous. killing babies with babies?? August 8, 2011 at 10:08 am Anthony Flammiaswinging them like conkers lol August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm Caitlin McCormickworse than aids August 8, 2011 at 6:04 pm Caitlin McCormickyou are ridiculous, i concur. August 8, 2011 at 6:04 pm failedure August 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm i doubt we've got what it takes to go the distance but i've always taken things at more of a sprint and i can tell that goes against what you're used to but if you try and keep up i might convince you we've barely met but lets try out a kiss cause if the sparks fly its only wasted time we'll miss i've been watching the way you wear a skirt the way you fill a shirt, that look in your eye when you flirt when on the sly you slip me a smile and i cant help it, you drive me wild blah blah blah something about sex and a messy breakup maybe something about cheating and lieing too just the basics. for the first time, I'm proud of the last two verses. August 5, 2011 at 12:15 am i think you think you knew i knew you liked me i think you know i think i knew i liked you too i dont think i know what you thought i'd do but i know you know i knew what i was going to and i think i know what you knew you wanted me to do and i think i know your wish came true i wish my wish and your wish were one not two but there's only so much a genie can do with wishes previously cast in different directions one of us was bound to end up with a useless erection... our faith failed us when fate regaled us with supple bounties kept out of arms reach but like candy dangled before starving children seem always god's ambitions should we not rot our teeth as a fair trade for death of grief? I'll pull them out and mumble in your ear it was worth every cuspid dear (zeus admired our ire told the water to leave us alone and island in the sun called home an unfettered abode of desire arose)   Joshua Matthew PippinOne day MY last line will make sense... August 5, 2011 at 12:22 am Anthony Flammiai fixed it. happy? August 5, 2011 at 12:26 am cant write right now August 4, 2011 at 1:07 am so how much are you willing to let me in? when can we get back to real talk again? how much energy will you devote to him? rather how much room will you leave for sin? lol thats all. the final time August 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm you took the words from my mouth with your tongue, masterfully planned this out talked me up, built mountains with your hands my skin the sand, lured me in with a look in your eyes. it said forever but meant a week how could i have been so easy, when did i grow so weak. there's no iron in my blood anymore i try to write but my pen is out, i cant stay here anymore, i cant call you tonight im tired i dont know what I'm feeling anymore dont know what to write about dont know what youre thinking either some unsolicited feedback would be nice Aubrey Alexandracome a little closer, I'll kiss you one last time, I think love is my flaw, but i can't rewind, wish i could take it all back, the hurt that i caused, can't explain my actions, i was completely at fault. Kiss me under this cloudy night sky, promise that i'll try not to cry, i cannot give myself to you, i would surely be a waste of time. August 3, 2011 at 10:35 pm boom boom clap August 3, 2011 at 1:32 pm set to the beat of a slow boom boom clap ive thought since birth i dont belong on this earth till i met this girl gave me hope for the world (i hit backspace on the rest) Joshua Matthew PippinNice August 3, 2011 at 2:11 pm this is to the tune of a song i really like. see if you can place it! August 2, 2011 at 9:59 pm i think youre testing me i'll continue to fail purposefully its not that im afraid to be alone this is just how its supposed to be truth is im afraid to be alone and i keep barking up all the wrong trees i thought i was over wanting love but you came and breathed new life into me i know i come off crass and im sorry i am such an ass with you i dont know how to act if i push will you push back? i guess thats not my place i'll just smile and watch us fade(?) i'll forget how you blew me away i'll stop worrying about your fate. it was never my business anyway. Aubrey Alexandraso good. August 3, 2011 at 5:13 am idealist, romantic. August 2, 2011 at 5:30 pm when i fall asleep its not to dream its to escape the screams im tired of being right and everything always being exactly what I expect it to be im fascinated by the problems people always seem to create what if they had the ones i cant escape? im tired of feeling like im smothering me theres so much more i can take but i dont know how long that will take im happy when you boil it down but its taking forever at these altitudes blame it on my attitude adjustments i need to make how many of these problems did i create? how much actually exists? if questions were enough id be free can it be that im already dead or im not yet born or its all in my head can it be that i need to forget that it was never real that love doesnt exist? do our senses always fail us? is it all an illusion you claim to love are you settling do we have to settle do we have to compare? remember when you couldnt help the way you felt remember when you just went with it it felt like the tide like day turning to night like it was inevitable? before your brain kicked in before you registered the mistake? what said you erred in the first place? construction? nature or nurture the former doesnt exist beyond fucking for offspring fuck to exist kiss taste your love its not enough to hear it you should see it know what it smells like know what it feels like to lose control when bodies join and before you know it there wont be questions there wont be distraction call me idealistic love is perfect love is not work love is knowing i envy those who know i envy those who dont have to try i envy you mention your lovers name watch the smile smear across your face you cant help it mention their touch watch you blush you cant help it mention their hair see you smell it you cant help it mention their skin you know every inch you cant help it mention commitment you dont even think about it you cant help it it just exists impervious to the world and its influences humans stumble love doesnt love is perfect. ice cream at noon August 2, 2011 at 1:31 pm I'm trying to smith words here I'm not trying to speak the truth or say something that has meaning to only me and you... I've got big balls if I have something to say it will be to your face. lemme try remember when we brushed shoulders in the hall? i heard you stop three paces behind me i leaned on the wall holding the scent of your hair took a deep breath and turned back to see if you'd still be standing there... it was your guy staring me straight in the eyes he could see i was smitten but would never admit it cause behind him you stood crying in front of me he stood dieing but its so much easier to deny it carry on in a life filled with lies cool. that kind of works. lose lose August 1, 2011 at 10:18 pm did the passion die out or is it just being hid? if i hope for the latter i sin (some feelings i cant extinguish) if i hope for the former i lie for your sake and his shut up its just lets light up the room without making a fuss they'll know we go boom without ever catching us its just we make it look easy i feel so close to you words and smiles bounce back and forth between our teeth i know what we need  a few weeks of gathered supplies and time off a plushly carpeted floor the phone's off the hook our skin is bare the lights are low you're all i want to know the light's all over you now cant look away, dont know how you're all i need right now id give up breathing somehow I haven't been at a loss for ideas lately, at least :\ just bad execution. but I'll come back and straighten these out later maybe. Caitlin McCormickyou will never come back and change these..stop lying to us August 1, 2011 at 11:37 pm brb, back July 31, 2011 at 7:53 pm Last time I saw the stars, they were in your eyes. What happened to that night? As things are born, others die. Last time my hands were warm they were in yours. What happened to that warmth? Is it gone for good? There's much I'd like to tell you if only you would believe it's true. Rachel ScribellitoCouldn't agree more. It never fails I'm always "liking " your status. I can't help it I love words and you use them so well August 2, 2011 at 10:55 pm Anthony Flammiathanks August 2, 2011 at 10:57 pm random thoughts July 31, 2011 at 4:21 pm i know how to be gentle i can cuddle and coddle i have a softer side that i coat with white powdered sugar lies id rather be a flame id rather you burn your fingers learning how to handle me i hope i lit your fire i hope my heat you desire my absence your ire i hope you find your balance and i hope im there somewhere in your periphery id love to help hold you up if you need someone to lean on theres all kinds of things i can offer if youve been asking yourself why? why not? she was not right... theres no reason to cut a good thing out of your life so we exist on uncertain grounds but we're not trying to build a house so what? this isnt a very collected bunch of thoughts but i was scared for a second and im still wayyy unsure i said and meant i mean no harm the opposite really i care what a conflict of interest i know but i care I would prefer if you were there. I cant get over this song. free download! July 31, 2011 at 2:50 pm http://ohheydoctor.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/e018e3b1b7eb9c63cca2b669222034d8.mp3 I stole the keys to the skies We'll leave this place for the final time No crying words, no goodbyes Yes tonight we're burning all the tough times Drown all the fears that we had These are the things that we'll never understand This time fight fire with fire 'Cause baby tonight the world belongs to you and I This boy's in love, love This boy's in love (Under city, under city lights) Don't tell the world what we've known We've come so far but there's still a way to go It's dark, there's no need for lights When the fire in his eyes is so bright This boy's in love, love This boy's in love (Under city, under city lights) Tonight, turn out the lights Don't wait, too late to die Look out, hold on, hold tight Tonight, all night I'm getting ready so Love, love, love, love This boy's in love This town, these streets, your friends You'll never see this place again You'll think about it now and then (Love) You'll never see our face again (This boy's in love) Goodbye, this town, these streets, your friends You'll never see this place again You'll think about it now and then (Love) You'll never see our faces again i'm sorry. July 31, 2011 at 2:24 pm there's no scorn in my voice darling you are beautiful but i say exactly what i think dont hold it against me when you asked for it do you want something superficial? i can offer that. i can apologize for everything. take the blame even and we can go on skipping across the surface like nothing ever happened i'm fine with that. ive faked worse. or I can stand by what I've said you can ask for clarification if you think I was out of line cause i never meant to be i have no idea where to go what to think what i feel ive got no answers but id rather  talk to you about it than not im sure of that. short but sweaty July 31, 2011 at 12:23 pm i stole the keys to the sky i'll leave this place one last time drown all of the fear I had theres so much I'll never understand I'm chasing your words in circles dont wait too long step back i didnt think so. i didnt think so. Anthony Flammiaapparently that first line is from something else. July 31, 2011 at 12:44 pm Anthony Flammiaan amazing song called This Boy’s In Love (Lifelike Remix) – The Presets July 31, 2011 at 12:44 pm Caitlin McCormicki like this song. did you find it by googling what you wrote? July 31, 2011 at 11:56 pm Anthony Flammiayeah, lol August 1, 2011 at 12:00 am Caitlin McCormickonly one of many reasons i love you..skrillex came up on youtube as a suggestion August 1, 2011 at 12:01 am i am real, i promise. quiz me. I'll fail... July 29, 2011 at 7:59 pm so appropriate you have questions let me ask you what will you make of me after you rationalize its so appropriate that we die when its so beautiful out youre gorgeous your skin tastes like what i need go find another lover before its too late dont string him along youre so very loveable there are so many foreign roads i want to travel along but id give them up for you that decadent that surreal thats how you make me feel for every love that seems so appropriate theres the love im ready to murder for alexandra for ever ago. id die for you to know what it feels like id die for you alexandra... two syllables days short i want to rescue you things that burn my hands you slip through my grasp red as your chest did you feel how you felt? do you realize how you reacted? you deserve everything you deserve so much more than I you deserve so much more then he can offer you what I am to you you don't really need but I can offer you mountains and the sea you've got the plains and theyre comforting you threw yourself in front of me, though what do you need? are you simple? or is love what you need? ill drag you through it all i am real i can promise you i am real for emma, forever ago. July 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm ok so unrestricted i have some questions to ask you are you fucking serious? with the amount of information i've gathered you have no right you made a commitment you could never keep with the information provided and it all comes down to ignorance which has been implanted in you from birth by no means am i holding bars right now im talking directly to you you said forever and at the time you meant it but now it seems reasonable to think you know that forever didnt mean shit forever meant that at the time you believed what you did what do you believe now? be real with me i see you for what is be real with me i beg of you be real with yourself you owe it to everyone at the point you said i do to the point you exist at now did you mean it? does i do mean the same thing to you? i have no vested interest the outcome doesnt affect my life (it may but i wont admit that here) the outcome only has to do with you the outcome has only to do with honesty is there honesty between him and you? is there an eternal bond that satiates both your needs? is that what exists? im sorry for being so honest but answer my questions true... is there need for talk between me and you? boreded July 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm hey bedroom eyes flip the switch hey dreamy girl time to exist hey pacifist lets blow shit up got preconceptions? challenge them down on your knees red in your eyes blood on boil stop trying not to cry stand up head back arms out spin around let it fill you and empty out again and again till every part of you becomes one with it till you feel it replace your skin eyes closed hair down care free fall down drop until youre free when youre ready to have arms around you when youre steady on your own when youre ok with being alone drop until youre free and clear louder now louder now its going to get its going to get you cant you cant its going to get until its all inside its going to get louder now louder now until its all inside all inside dont you think dont you think now dont start now a little bit not even a little bit not even a little bit louder its going to get its going to get louder we're gonna feel stronger but you cant control whats inside its all bound to get louder i dont want to love. i dont need to anymore its all i can do i dont need to anymore i wont forget you, imp its all i can do to exist i care everything is easy and beautiful today things swirl and twirl and we are weightless today there are only things to do and i love you i'm not sure July 28, 2011 at 8:42 pm im right about in my groove im right about in that mood im right about at the point im ready to make my move (if this were another planet and another time id clap my hands and step side to side                   with a little wiggle in my hips id step in and plant one on your lips) we just go together like flint and steal showers in the dark nothing will come between this constant flow of sparks it took so much reservation to keep my hands at bay i regret not meeting you before that day i regret not making you come to your senses earlier i regret still, being so reserved i lied and said im honest that i respected your choices that i wished the best for you... i'd rather talk to you about nothing than write everything about you im tiring myself out thinking about you which would be awesome if it wasnt pointless is it? Jessica Taylorthis one is very good. July 28, 2011 at 9:04 pm Anthony Flammiathanks, i wish someone would say that about one i cared about lol. this was more of a letter than a poem. July 28, 2011 at 9:17 pm Jessica TaylorI know. I liked that it came across as if you were talking to or writing to someone. July 28, 2011 at 9:19 pm Anthony Flammiacool. i'm awesome. who wouldnt want to be with me? July 28, 2011 at 9:20 pm Jessica Taylorpeople who were super intimidated by your awesomeness obviously. July 28, 2011 at 9:32 pm some ideas i dont care for July 28, 2011 at 8:26 pm she had the most sincere eyes looking up at me, i felt complete... she didnt make me chase her her breath tasted like the only air i want to breath maybe im glad things ended in suspense what if we flamed out that first night im not looking for a one night stand im looking for someone to agonize over im looking for something thats never over when i fight i gouge out eyes its not over till someone dies i still smell you but your voice took me by surprise i was too focused on your lips. i watched your skin ive never felt that before im not sure what to call it. lust is harsh but beauty cannot be denied when stars align nights like that exist how does your day to day feel? do sparks fly? or do you simply abide? my darling, love is real. love will devour you and it doesnt have to last a lifetime so realize it while you can leaving in the night like that was wrong what am i to think now youre gone? you wont come back and i dont know why im ok with love ending but shed me some light i hope you met someone better than me i can only be happy if youre happy... im tired of drinking tears i cant look people in their face i met a girl with whom i could speak i met a girl with whom i could never be i dont know what it is to be honest my entire life ive been a liar ive made a career of being someone I'm not i dont have any money, nothing is all ive got i dont want anybody near me everytime i love i wish i didnt i cant remember the last time things looked up i cant remember the last time someone asked me out i dont know anyone baths July 28, 2011 at 6:32 pm did i mention you piqued my morals it made me all uncomfortable hot and sticky like bothered if you will there's an itch i need to scratch located all over your body youre saying youre intact i think i know better theres a feeling youre missing only I can deliver there's a need in your bones you'll look for forever it will destroy you if you let it it takes a village to damage a child so good they failed and you escaped but not totally free preconceptions of who you should be how to live your life white picket fence, you'll make a perfect bride dont know what it is that kept you alive in your shoes i would have taken my life thank you for our time together sorry to have disturbed the weather hopefully you still live your life hopefully you become that wife i hope for you happiness i hope you have your two point five kids i hope he holds you in the shower i hope you love the way he smiles about you i hope his hands grow strong and i hope he holds you in them and... im hopeful for you dearness, the shadow is moved by our nimbleness that cunning drape that flees the instant light is seen envies our abilities... kiss me quick the sun is to rise to lift the veil once again he still believes you were innocent "funny what a weird and easy heart i had before you took it away" good god, i'd pay it back if i could i never would. on mute July 27, 2011 at 4:51 pm usually I can just say oh well and move on forget about anything anyone it doesnt matter. my capacity for apathy is staggering but i cant muster that oh well feeling this time like a sigh that won't end im writing new definitions for things thats one way to sort things rewire them embrace this hitch in my step make it a part of me instead of letting it destroy me (funny using a limp as a metaphor considering i do have a limp right now) im not really writing with any goal right now just scratching an itch if there's anyone out there that reads this garbage lyrics to songs keep popping into my head and sounding really relevant i listen to the way people say things now and the way they pluck the strings, hit the keys anyways here's some random lyrics that explain some things i feel or something google them if you dont know who they are. carry this picture for luck kept in a locket tucked in your collar close to your chest make it a secret shown to the closest friends But it was only in my head because no one ever says what they really mean to say when there's so much at stake So I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me and I mostly believed her and she mostly believed me Don't throw yourself like that In front of me I kissed your mouth your back Is that all you need? Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down where is my mind? bleh. end. Caitlin McCormick...this is starting to seem like wawa girl all over again, but different July 31, 2011 at 11:42 pm Caitlin McCormickwhat if vs what now July 31, 2011 at 11:43 pm Anthony Flammialol wawa girl. why did you have to remind me? July 31, 2011 at 11:50 pm Caitlin McCormickdamn. July 31, 2011 at 11:51 pm on heights July 25, 2011 at 4:19 pm all you can do to get rid of the demons is open your mouth and scream until your throat bleeds only when i scream its on perfect pitch and gaggles of crows join in the shenanigans we swoop through groups of innocent people and mark them with invisible ink that glows in the moonlight so that at night we can spot them where they lay hovering around the heads of the masses whispering quips mixed with lies everything will be ok little boy little girl everything will be just fine they wake up the next day feeling a bit oddly refreshed like they cant wait to see what'll happen next they realize lifes getting shorter and shorter everyone's born and dies in that order there's no escape nothing to do no reason to live or be nothing to say no room just no (wow that's weird) parental discretion is advised July 25, 2011 at 10:19 am and suddenly the waters calm everything has the illusion of being ok we'll restack our defenses, some higher than others redraw our boundaries and drum up new plans we'll say we'll move out in the morning but things always find a way of staying the same except this time we're a little more motivated something blew an extra gust of wind into our sails and we're headed somewhere, i dont know where its gonna be magical and special with unicorns and shit and this is starting to sound really corny and hopeful so fuck you i hope you stay miserable and alone you cuntish wench biatcchh go find your prince charming in greener pastures hes fucking whores in the tall grass just like the rest of us he'll compliment your eyes while staring at your ass everyones the fucking same and if you find someone different hold on babe cause it wont take you long to break him cause thats what we fucking do. we assimilate its entropy its natural and it feels good we constantly chase sensory desires and there is no escape. you wonder why I stir the pot? rock the boat? spike my blood? I'm fucking alive. You're dieing. my advice is trite July 25, 2011 at 1:23 am i dont mind if you want to stow away in my notes we can meet here in black and white every night you can read in the voice you remember me having i just cant stand seeing you in such a sad state why not run for real? dont hesitate and get comfortable in misery full out sprint away with your fastest gait and head towards somewhere your heart feels safe. ima do my thing please dont break my balls just saying its not even worth discussing. short and sick. July 24, 2011 at 9:17 pm i wrote this for you i thought you should have it i thought you could read it alone in your attic surrounding yourself with all of my things this note could center a shrine for me tictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictictic July 24, 2011 at 8:58 pm tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic tic Amy Melinda Baschoh. my. god. July 24, 2011 at 9:02 pm Anthony FlammiaBOOM! July 24, 2011 at 9:02 pm brb July 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm thump thump thump thump there is nothing like fresh tension like watching a razor resting on a thread like the next word you say could split you apart like a gun to your head. like being handed the pin to a grenade and wondering when its gonna go BAng! (like leaning in for a kiss?) Aubrey Alexandralol July 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm i'm so happy that i have been writing awesome shit all day July 23, 2011 at 10:11 pm things you cant think, I think all day im dangerous i make you feel all kinds of ways like I didnt mean anything i said ill steal your morals ill implant new ones i'll pretend like i dont want to kiss you like there's something in a kiss whats in a kiss besides saliva and lips? do you feel with your soul or just react to stimulus like when i kissed you on the neck because i liked the taste of it my hand was on your thigh cause thats the perfect place for it your hands were on my chest because you really want a man reservations aside you know youd take it you couldnt if you tried resist another round of making it youd travel cross country late night if i suggested we go because your still wet from me three days ago your blushing at the thought of this even as youre reading this poem youre wishing you were in my arms maybe we'll get our chance to have a go to aubrey July 23, 2011 at 8:46 pm the idea is that cupid is a prick and he fucks with us but we can ultimately choose our fate and i like playing with the idea of the permanency of love but if i said it with such plain words what would be the fun? this is what ive come up with but it doesnt really work that well and ive been dieing for someone to start collaborating with so make of it what you will you make the decision I'll hide my reaction you make the plans I'll help you enact them whatever this is its turning my guts you're driving me nuts lets trade comfort for touch is that asking too much? i watch my grandparents sleep in separate beds is that where we're headed? Ricky PollonGood stuff July 23, 2011 at 8:55 pm Aubrey Alexandrai wrote something but when i went to post it on my phone it glitched. I'll hit you back after i get some sleep. July 24, 2011 at 6:04 am im soo bored July 23, 2011 at 6:57 pm its not your tits although you have a lovely pair not your ass but i confess I watch it when you pass not your thighs that beg to be felt up not your calves that i kiss on the way up from your feet, their sexy arch, nibbling on your toes not your hands strong as they may be or your fingers though i love the way you touch me not your lips that turn red when youre aroused not your shoulders shy when i play with your bra strap not the baby hairs electrified when Im kissing on your back it might be the way my nose fits behind your ear while i bite your cheek with my fingers in your hair and you arched and moaned, sweat glistened on your neck blahblahblah blah blah dreamers die young hearts dont age this is not a phase there is no balance you decide everything got a home? or is it just a house a leap of faith then work it out forever is a word I cant comprehend i wish i was a better man Aubrey Alexandrastop being so brilliant, it makes me sick July 23, 2011 at 7:20 pm Anthony Flammiai write everything while dreaming about you lol July 23, 2011 at 7:25 pm Aubrey Alexandrayour such an ass. July 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm Anthony Flammiai've been working on one in my head for a while. maybe you can help me round it out a bit? July 23, 2011 at 7:28 pm Aubrey Alexandrasend it to me July 23, 2011 at 7:43 pm Anthony FlammiaOk, it goes something like this. July 23, 2011 at 7:46 pm Anthony FlammiaI really want to make you come. July 23, 2011 at 7:47 pm Bloggish July 23, 2011 at 2:57 pm so this is it. as rational as I can be. I never wanted any part of it. I loved every moment. but I can't do it anymore a rue i must forlorn haha, i dont know why ive been writing such sappy lovey romantic fuck talk shit lately i hope yall find it entertaining. i was staying with my cousin aaron and his wifey poo amy and they were awesome hosts. maybe their newlywed lovey dovey bullshit inspired me lol dudes. i need a girlfriend like whao so i can have some real life shit to write about. i'd imagine it wouldnt sound so romantic though lol "i leaned in for a kiss but she gave me her cheek i put my p in her v and came instantly" Aaron Baschthanks cuz July 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm Amy Melinda Baschnice July 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm ewojr July 23, 2011 at 2:25 pm I've felt you. the end uh ok July 21, 2011 at 6:47 pm i could write for days about your lips theyre pursed so tight for fear of letting something real out they lit my fingers, my neck, my forehead they turned as red as your chest I wonder if they shared the warmth I could write for days about your hands they were timid but i coaxed them to play spread from your palm to each fingers end hoping id sooth you till they meshed i reached slowly up your wrist did you notice the subtlety with which i grazed your breast? did you notice how perfectly my hand fit the base of your neck did you feel my heart beating with your hand upon my chest? did you feel your head fit on my shoulder? while i traced the silk that lines your back to think there's a body to explore imagine me between your thighs... imagine my hands on your feet moving up past your calves that tickley spot behind your knees cause this isnt that serious but god damn its what you need oh, your thighs youre timid, you resist i persist move so slowly till you insist its outside for what seems like an unbearable amount of time your shivering while playing with you tits outside tasting the best of the first lips until you cant take more, then labia minora flit about ride emotion grab my hair guide my motion cum and drag me in with you im ready to bring you round two the night is just yet born lets come again, then come some more Jessica Tayloryou're such a romantic. July 21, 2011 at 6:53 pm Anthony Flammiahopeless July 21, 2011 at 6:53 pm Jessica Taylortruely. July 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm awesome July 21, 2011 at 6:00 pm was there a moment of doubt i sensed? stone sober but lust drunk i'd die for your lips i felt the reserve in your hips you writhe across my body and its frankly not enough ive no desire to end this till ive filled my cup and the passion you possess flows like hydrants the summers are hot, lets dance in it you've got obligations of convention i understand and respect them but my heart doesnt follow convention i dont know shelter, let me show you the way to live for your self seek what you need before its too late before misery is the norm and you assimilate cold hands with an electric feel i can make you shiver like the coldest cold hotter than a desert dry wetter than a swampy marsh hotter than ecstasy the way loving should be.. there are no rules. only love and trust. July 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm im ignoring the limits here you're stoic, you're slow your hearts too big to let go your skin beneath my hands the taste of your back my hand on your thigh and the way you touched back i wanted your blushing cheeks, i want inbetween this isnt sexual, for once, this is unique your tightening grip was a lot to process our noses brushing caused cardiac arrest the blushing of your chest on which i gently pressed the heat from your body felt like life i held your hair and kissed your ear told your shoulders they shouldnt hide i want to kiss you i want to breath your air taste your words i want to start slow, its a peck our necks fighting full fledged release constant worry we've gone too far lets feel it out lets sneak into the bathroom and leave with smeared lipstick i want to press you hard against a wall my hand on your throat, not one desire withheld call it the ultimate test i want between your thights i want you reaching for the sky screaming to god FUCKING take me there i want from your knees up your skirt i want to love you till you say, "no more it hurts too good, let me taste you play with every inch of me lets prolong this ecstasy" i want to be straddled in short skirts and hickies and bruises from the counter i want you in the shower i want you to kiss me as hard as i want to kiss you there are no rules. only love and trust. if infatuation was enough take what ive got... the art of driving a nuclear powered duck July 20, 2011 at 8:51 pm do you know reservation? there's strength in people I can't fathom I'm a creature, I throw fits I'm allowed by the evils in this world to take deep baths in banality we flit and roam, consume and waste but love knows no escape i've watched my family overcome infidelity men willing to share their only gift something I will never forgive but I'm a liar bred this way free of moral restraint i want to know how she tastes i want to know what things are like between the sheets can we soil them with passion twice a day can we celebrate where life began? in ten years will i still adore my wife's face will her wrinkles remind me of time spent of stress of the kids and driving minivans i want instant gratification i believe in its merit we all can forget morals dont exist humans are chemicals chemicals mix and so on nature exists Meaghan MacDonald Brilliant Daahhling, <3 July 20, 2011 at 9:35 pm Celina MelodyDamn! You wrote this? July 21, 2011 at 12:03 am Anthony Flammiayeah, its a bit of a habit. any requests? or duets? July 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm Celina MelodyUr amazing at it! 4real July 21, 2011 at 5:45 pm {b} on a short leash July 20, 2011 at 3:41 pm fatal attraction turned fatal mistake? or did we intercede before a life went to waste? i want to ride your emotions like a roller coaster and be the dip that makes you stomach flip each time you slide onto my (oh my god) fuckity fuck back scratches screaming I cant take this how long until you come I dont think I'm gonna make it and after we're cuddles baby you're so sweet i'll give you five minutes then you better make me scream Ricky PollonCute July 20, 2011 at 3:50 pm smile likelyoulmean ir July 20, 2011 at 5:18 am i assure you I am harmful but girl alas so are you and though i've not to lose cant say the same for you i hope when we travel in the hall a passing glance can turn to passion but there are rings burning on fingers that begs away that action too soon jitters just getting to know my chick but im way more into the girl she came with i catch my self staring at the way you scrunch your face turns the other way while thinking of something clever to say poised collected thoughts when you speak if only you said what you think but most of all, enough of this... spell it out in writing (inbox), lets talk, this shit's for kids. take me wayyy to seriously, fun will ensue July 19, 2011 at 2:48 pm this one is about the ladies how i noticed their dirty feet first and i love it how they've marked themselves with who they are from crackly polished nails to hair short and long it seems at each others shoulders you are one but apart you're still strong and I admire you all It's been a short three days and filled with even shorter meetings but in no way will these experience fleet easily I watched a woman float on bliss the sun kissed her face and the waves held her back as i watched her I believed that ecstasy exists Did you catch me admiring your eyes? you know their power, you paint around them scenery in which to play and from over your shoulder with an eyebrow raised a half cocked smile you caught me looking all day I see you with wind in your hair and flashbulbs in your face You're a picture of endless grace. I know its not my place but I'm sorry for a lot of the things in your life let your hair be a dream catcher and each piece of flair a reminder to that cock sucking bastard that YOU are what matters and you are you and he can go screw and i'd drive with you anyday so long as the top's down, you lead the way and you? what can I say thanks for everything Dorcas TaylorAhahahahahah that's awesome! July 19, 2011 at 5:18 pm Caitlin McCormicki love this July 20, 2011 at 3:54 pm Anthony FlammiaI wish I was better with words, these girls are awesome. July 20, 2011 at 4:27 pm Dorcas TaylorThanx dude...I think u did a pretty good job with words haha July 20, 2011 at 6:39 pm Gloriel Taylordude this is crazy sick! u are an amazing writer!! it sucks Ionly got 2 chill with u once :(....u gotta come back down! lol July 21, 2011 at 10:37 am Anthony FlammiaI'll be around. Next time we whip your car. July 24, 2011 at 9:11 pm Gloriel Taylorhahaha dude I'm licky if my car hits 95 and is stilll alive July 27, 2011 at 4:18 pm fonly July 16, 2011 at 8:16 pm today i saw beauty in everything today, maybe, i started shedding bruised leafs they are old and surround my feet too long ive been enamored by their color i grew comfortable watching everything change too long have i sympathized with their plight against gravity today I fucking soar today i learn to ignore the inevitable and breathe what life has to offer my lungs are weak i struggle to blow out candles that barely lit the places I dwell today my skin burned beneath skies ive never seen absent of clouds and night today I decided to begin my life today I felt release today I dreamed i pictured bliss I've seen skin absent of cloth but i want to see love i'm too tired tofinish July 16, 2011 at 3:42 am her wrists are so skinny i dont suggest getting to know her unless you have the time a book masterfully written with a cover that belies whats inside a smile aspiring to be permanent dont stop twisting your face continue pausing for the right word when god painted skin over your frame he used careful strokes he taught your tongue to think he taught your eyes to ask questions Caitlin McCormickfinish this, please July 16, 2011 at 3:46 am dr seuss fuck story at the end July 12, 2011 at 12:52 pm she is beautiful i dont care what they say even if i know its wrong in every single way i want to a side bar at the bar leads to lets sneak out and look at stars you go out back I'll get the car they'll never find out where we are oh shit quick we rushed into a kiss oh what forbidden lips will make you do its not love so much as lust so much as you said forever but didnt mean it that much you said you would always but you hadnt met me yet about the fact that we're related... in fact? thats not a fact fuck convention fuck their words fuck the good book and its slurs love one man till death does its stuff in my humble opinion, one isnt enough you need the breadth of humanity tugging at your jeans so when you find that special one you know what special means its ok to be a slut fuck until youve had enough fuck until the days all blur but when you fuck with him youre sure that forever with will be enough fuck through doubts and pain and rainy days boring movies in dressing rooms cars elevators on your parents bed the counter the floor up against doors the shower the pool the gazebo at the retirement center with the little train in the garage on the deck in the basement on the steps washer dryer kitchen sink and thats just where we fucked last week Aubrey Alexandra Yea you're right. You suck at this shit. July 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm Anthony Flammiaouch what? lol July 12, 2011 at 1:55 pm Aubrey Alexandrathis is a good one. July 12, 2011 at 5:55 pm idears July 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm 1) that kid fell off his bike his little sister cried but he just licked his wounds jumped back up, began to ride again cause nothing is gonna get him down smiling as he's riding through the town going no where slowly with a smile on his face this shit is not a race. take a slow and steady pace and enjoy what comes your way life will wait 2) popsicles for breakfast lunch and dinner i like them melty so I stay with sticky fingers I'm not grown and I doubt I'll ever be drop me a line if you wanna play with me (i smoke a blunt and torch a bowl so long the sun is in the sky then i tuck in with my boo and smoke a joint before goodnight) 3) I'm dreaming to think you'd walk with me and see all the things I'm seeing I have a special way of perceiving lemme know if youre down with what I've been speaking true love may hide but some day the one will arrive and until then I will abide for amy sort of. July 9, 2011 at 5:01 pm its about time, enough's enough i'm tired of love being a four letter word the way people throw the word around is getting absurd I'm tired of people with no depth a five minute conversation reveals their full breadth I'm tired of fancy fucking clothes covering ugly bodies controlled by ugly souls I'm tired of advertisements and tv and the way mass media controls scenes (i need to go but feel free to add some of your own weariness in the comment section below) Amy Melinda Baschfor anthony sort of. I’m tired of people who don’t think for themselves who blindly follow others while paving the way for disaster I’m tired of seeing others chained to this thoughtless world their burnt-out hearts lining the floor, ejected by those who demand their servility I’m tired of seeing the keys around their waists unused because of fear I’m tired of my own captivity that of watching theirs - and remembering mine. July 9, 2011 at 6:21 pm Anthony Flammiaawesome July 10, 2011 at 2:29 am remind me to fix this, or delete it July 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm I'm looking for a reason to get close to you I suppose a power outage in a theater would do but people would fuck it up with cellphone lights and screaming oh my god turn it back on fuck cars two, I'd rather swap spit with you i'd hold your hand while we walk but these crutches are making use of my arms we'll be home soon so we can couch it and get back to the magic until your curfew turns tragic 22 years old still under the thumb of your dad lets fall in love quick so we can get our own pad and save you from that savage I hope i find him alone in a room one would walk out, guess who? (this lacks continuity and makes no sense i get worse and worse every day) Amy Melinda BaschDo I have to remind you that the only person around here allowed to talk shit about themselves on fb is me...? July 9, 2011 at 1:40 pm Anthony Flammiakk, I'll write something that talks shit about everyone else July 9, 2011 at 4:34 pm Amy Melinda Baschlol July 9, 2011 at 5:37 pm i keep starting things that turn our shitty and i have no urge to finish them but i post them anyway because why not July 7, 2011 at 10:27 am the summers over but is the temperature still rising? as the sun starts early setting could you look to me to shine? its been three months of tan skin and eager mouths sandy feet and beachside walks could we last through the winter or should we head south? is this love or lust am I lost or found? should I pray or scream? (how you frustrate me) and when you walk away should I let you leave? I should have never lied and said I could handle a fling is love absent of doubt or fear? knowing that I might die if you left should I chance it  now or keep you near? am I down on one knee vowing eternity because the chemicals were flowing your skin with sweat was glowing and the way you softly moaned really fucking turned me on? oh i hope not oh, i stole lyrics from a song July 4, 2011 at 2:15 pm I'm in the business of misery dont think I'll ever stop they say do what youre good at so ill keep spinning like a top dizzy and stumbling till my days end it will have to do until I make another plan I say whats it to you youve known me two short weeks I'm jaded and cold what do you see in me take your hand off my neck I feel your warmth getting through and the last thing i want is to love you but oh I think I'm going to break because your all I can think about now and oh I never wanted to make this mistake but even if I could back out, I wouldnt know how a person has the ability to be everything or nothing and its a choice offered by fate if you have to ask what to do its too late if shes offering you better take take take and if you love her back you better give give give if you become one, you will never split... found this rapper (aka i thought all filipinos were catholic?) July 3, 2011 at 4:00 am I found this Filipino rapper named Anygma who dropped this line in a freestyle battle I was watching. This guy is intense. It's america; you can practically spin and point while correctly guessing, "He's a christian, she's a christian, he's a christian..." I may be a shark patrolling a sea of ignorance from a seed so sickening, but my ideologies are persistent so to me you're all just a bunch of goddamned theist bitches with weak convictions who need religion to feel existent. i'm not sure if philosophy works in rap battles but it took me by surprise. unfortunately most of his shit is in whatever language Filipinos speak. guess what song im listening to July 1, 2011 at 1:02 am its not a mystery that she is missing me still yearning two weeks after we became history she's engulfed in sad while i feign smiles extinguished by tears turns memories to mire im sorry hunny our love's just passed so please dont look this way i have no answer for what you ask i've no idea of what to do and it's being taken out on you sit in the corner or stand in the world either shine like a light or burn like a pyre (i wear linen pants and my hair is long these days i stand tall with arms outstretched and beg them to shoot "i wish your senses would lie to you") i figured i should put something down rather than nothing but lately i dont have any ideas so hear you go July 1, 2011 at 12:45 am why, yall, cant you see? how low we could really be 1i'm finally learning to live with you 2i think im getting the hang of this 3i'm finally sure i dont care i rewear dirty underwear i eat from the floor i slam every door dont brush my teeth lie through my teeth im done doing chores i dont care anymore i cringe at the thought of college with my nose in my air i'm philistine von debonair get walking better start moving out fromhighschoolsweetheartstokillingmywifeafterusingheruterus June 30, 2011 at 11:43 pm hey im anthony wanna be my girrrrl friend? wanna make big plans before we graduate? lets fall in love in dreams lets get blindsided together gnawing on reality bites... when shit dont work lets pretend it do lets replicate to make glue  i love our son more than you... its a shameful plan but we'll blame it on god and though you'll pass i'll get pats on the back people saying, look at that single dad Aubrey Alexandraand we're back.. July 1, 2011 at 12:44 am Anthony Flammianothing worth reading but i'm tired of writing things and not saving it so im gonna start saving everything that pops into my head July 1, 2011 at 12:46 am Aubrey AlexandraI've missed that :) July 1, 2011 at 12:47 am its not till too late that we realise how fragile we'll always be June 28, 2011 at 11:39 pm i want to fuck her pixie cut im so attracted to style, oh baby give me the girl in the jeans hair all in her face, big ass headphones totally oblivious we could hold hands and ride trains i'll dot her eyes, she'll cross my tees we'll say shit like, "youre all i need" ive laid in grass and ignored bugs and pins and needles my arm her pillow we fucking lazed away in oh what better a way to spend the day we used to giggle down the stairs and slam the door clothes half off parents oblivious love was so easy when we were innocent ive loved hard abandoned family in reckless displays cried till empty then drank a glass of water clenched my fists till knuckles popped but once its gone, its fucking gone e June 17, 2011 at 12:29 am my girls back is carved out of lust though my hands are rough she still craves my touch and i oblige because in my hold she ignites and arches and responds with her lips i can feel it growing in the writhe of her hips e i cant get into this shit anymore June 10, 2011 at 9:58 am open up your nubile eyes begin the prowl now everyone you see is a construct of ass and tits spin blindly and thrust with your hips spread your seed before you're out of time I could be wrong, though I've heard about love... my throat always hurts now May 25, 2011 at 10:36 am I've always been just flesh but lately im not sure of that sometimes i feel things beyond my body i can see them not exist while they scream they do. they rant and i cry because no one has the tools to let them in and i know its just selfish desire i know i wish i could turn back time i remember laying in a fever thinking maybe i'll die unable to trade vomit for speech hoping someone would save me i cant count the errors that led me to that point and that disturbs me because im sure there are many but what changed that day that particular day i worked hard i lived the american dream i had a paycheck on the way and rent paid and yeah i was hungry and yeah i was sick but it felt good to work for something but i was working for this? to think there was a time i didnt work and i funneled toxins through my body and things were better then i collected a check from a broken system that floated me through the days and now trying to do the right thing i rendered myself unable now i cry from time to time but only sometimes i mean it sometimes i reach for crutches and im disturbed by how well they fit under my arms the ache from my limb is constant but maybe it just wants to know me i cant wait to strap metal and plastic to my flesh and put on pants and pretend i still am me Amy Melinda BaschThis note = beyond awesome. July 3, 2011 at 11:50 pm Anthony Flammiathanks July 4, 2011 at 1:00 am This is for if you want to know about my leg. Please don't ask my anything about my leg without reading this first. May 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm     This week I had to get a partial leg amputation. A combination of exhaustion and dehydration from working 90+ hours a week for a few weeks wiped me out. I needed the money and didn't mind the work but nonstop walking and 16 hour shifts sucked. I was not being smart about it, not sleeping or eating properly and for the first time in my life my whacky sleep schedule caught up to me.     Long story short, I got really sick to my stomach and after a while of puking in the bathroom, I fell/layed down there to sleep because it was cooler there and close to the toilet. When I layed down or fell I got my legs twisted up and somehow killed nerve feeling and blood flow down there. In the morning, about 6 hours later, my room mate told me I should get on the couch and that's when I realized how numb my left leg was. I assumed it was just ridiculous pins and needles     Which was pretty accurate. As I slept on the couch I lost track of the hours and my friends brought me water and whatnot and kept asking how I was doing. I was very feverish and hard to understand but I guess I said i was fine and they left me alone. After 20 hours of writhing and puking on the couch they called the emt's for me and we got the show to the hospital. Thank god for this. I would have died if they didn't call. The hospital details are a bore but as some of you may know some of my prior indiscretions could be to blame for this incident. Well, I'm proud to say that no drugs played a part of this and the hospitals ran labs and tests to confirm this for me. Fair warning to all my heavyworker oversleeping friends out there, be careful. Also, do the right thing like my roommate's did and make the call for your friend if he needs a doctor. The sooner the better. Jessica TaylorI love you May 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm Laura Pimly HowardFeel better Anthony. <3 May 11, 2011 at 3:58 pm Anthony Flammiathanks hon. sorry I haven't been at you in a minute but i think you understand why May 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm Caitlin McCormicklovedd seeing you ant! i'll be back this weekend w. a milkshake ;o) love you BFF xox May 11, 2011 at 10:08 pm Simon SvartbergI know you'll make it through what ever life has in store for you. Just take it easy man, get some sleep, and know you have friends to back you up :) May 12, 2011 at 3:54 pm Amanda TaylorSo it is too soon to bring up that time I drew you an amputee ballerina? Also, it is strange to see you write just straight up normal sentences with no flowy language or snide remarks. (I wonder what it says about me that that fact struck me first about this note.) Also, also, I hope you have a quick healing and keep in good spirits =) May 12, 2011 at 10:31 pm Jessica TaylorI can bring you over to visit him If you want sometime. Visiting hrs are over at 830. May 12, 2011 at 10:34 pm Anthony FlammiaI'm. Happy you thought of the drawing Amanda. I have it in my wallet still. May 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm 3yq5tas May 4, 2011 at 8:27 pm my dad and i are layed up on the ground at the bottom of the steps below a giant catherdral kitchen cieling. we are trying to stay to ourselves but my couisins are making that hard. we always break into our family functions. Arianna thinks she would sound more redneck if we called her Amy and her friend a little grey haired fella, not particularly young or of any afilitiation, maybe asian was named clothes. Im sitting in a common room full of middle aged to slightly older african american folks. The decorations around them reflect the scenery of the vacation desinitations they are discussing visiting. Most of the trips are prescribed in milligrams and all of them have freeks. Weather or not the companies are owned my persians doesnt matter to me. There was a man standing in the corner of the room with his head on the cieling eating an apple. I asked him if I was dreaming. He said not yet and tossed me the keys. My armb is numb. This things far too tight. There's smoke hissing out of two of the most poorly constructed holes. Caitlin McCormickwhat are you talking about, you've been tripping me out w this stuff lately May 4, 2011 at 8:51 pm really weird little paragraph things April 23, 2011 at 3:20 am I guess I'm doing it wrong my imaginary friend still doesn't know my name I don't know my girlfriends name phone number or address and I can't remember if we even met I've got a hollowed out book filling up with empty jars I wake up in the morning and cough up tar for some reason it feels really good showers have lost there luster its always the same thing shampoo in my hair left arm right arm chest neck pits and back stomach crotch thighs ass knees shins feet and calves balance like a drunk to get between my toes and as I rinse my hair i wash my face ears and blow my nose i sleep on the couch because its a little bit uncomfortable but i let it hold me when i curl up its got me on my back and my side the edges cradle my neck and i shove my feet in their cracks but if i dont move around ill get a crick in my back i drink iced tea and pink lemonade that we use the powdered stuff to make we eat frozen pizzas for lunch and dinner and cereal for breakfast when we're not out on the porch listening to music we're on the couch watching netflix i text ideas i have for poetry to a girl that im staring to love and she texts me back brilliance and shows me support and i can see her smile when she reads my shit she's one i didnt think things through with i thought i had a cute blonde that was fun to kiss but if i played my cards right she coulda had my kids she is art made of flesh she's a little bit fresh but her attitude is a turn on it sucks but im ok with the fact that we will never exist Caitlin McCormickyou're random, but i like it. this really lists reasons i love u so much April 30, 2011 at 7:58 pm kiss me when no one's looking, how else will we know? April 20, 2011 at 5:23 am you kiss like such an american your hands on my ass groping my wallet for cash your tongue on my neck while you scan the room behind my back your hands down my pants cause you dont want to take a chance im under confident darling i might not please you but i wont stop till the morning so tell me your needs boo and we're back at the crib fresh as it is you hit the bathroom up to adjust your shit at the club you wouldnt shut up coming at me hard but now your sobering up the plans falling apart the mirror stares back at your every flaw it eats you apart and you begin to bawl you're too cute when you cry stop trying so hard and things will be alright tell me what you wanted when you were a little  girl and how its possible you're still alone in this world and dont get hung up on we dont know each other yet maybe before conversating we could try a little kiss fuck it, just kiss me kiss me like you'd kiss me when you realized we were in love so we can see if its worth it without going through the trouble of vicious fights, sleepless nights, a love war ending with broken hearts and wondering what it would be like if we weren't still apart kiss me if you want a free taste of my soul kiss me like closeness is all there is and you dont want to die alone as we get aquainted let our hands start to explore and if you feel its right lets do a little more standing up against the wall i push a little harder you keep trying for my buttons but its hard to gettem started and the clasps on your bra are a puzzle to be cracked i feel like we're connected with my hands upon your back their dry and rough in contrast with your skin their presence upon it is a sin you test my moral fiber as you get down on your knees your eagerness to please me leaves your face awry with glee i take a knee afore you and kiss you on your cheek i'd like to get to know you first so lets wait a couple weeks. taken aback, we never thought that this could be as we catch our breath we kneel in silent relief could this really be? could this be the love that hopeless romantics seek? kiss me 'till we fall asleep and maybe someday we will see looking for honey, finding the bees - calling all christians April 15, 2011 at 2:52 pm I'm starting to understand why you're down on your knees hands clenched begging for someone to change this scene I've seen your fingers bleed I can see the low in your eyes the day sharpens the blade the night brings it inside you started dieing when you were born he is not risen. he has always been a dream you have been asleep not a poem April 15, 2011 at 2:00 pm i was walking home from work down to the ell and i saw a man snorting what i thought was nasal spray i just got off a sixteen hour shift so needless to say im in a great mood spring is creeping in and the nights are cool but comfortable everything is cast under a purple blue moon and frozen dry i said what you got there man and he held up a gram and i laughed and kept walking and didnt look again he came up to me though and i honestly wasnt nervous but still recognized the possibility i was about to get hit by a large black man on coke. he asked me why i asked him what he was doing and i told him i was trying to make a joke and to level the field i asked to buy some of his dope and i wont give you the blow by blow but this man taught me how to be from chillin to bitches and everything inbetween he got off at my stop on the train and handed me a blunt we smoked and we smoked and did a few bumps so i invited him back to my porch for a beer and alas we were out but jess came out we smoked more and bumped more and it all worked out to be the craziest night ever. Caitlin McCormicki miss u April 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm blah April 14, 2011 at 1:02 am My son you can grow up to be anything as long as it's a smart ass keep your nose clean don't cut class it's ok if you smoke weed but don't act like you got no class get a job while youre young pay your bills treat your girl thats what it takes to be a man in this world your mom said im the poet master i just might be your dad, better ask her I'm about to leave this you best believe kid if it wasnt for we hit it every night i'd have been split husky bitch aint do shit have a kid do all the work then she's snoozing sleeping all day while im working all night i aint trying to take her our cause she always looks a fright lose a hundred pounds i might let a bitch turn on the light i like it lights off, dirty go on leave your skirt b we gone keep the mood right its fit to be a long night ass up knees hands im a put in work, aight? let me know whats feeling boo im sure ill know what to do as long as you keep moaning babe i swear i'll put it on you i just ask that when i move in that you move it back out see how long you ride that shit before it makes you shout ow and finish strong because it wont be long till i let my self inside and we prepare for another ride did i mention im a stunter i can hit it back to back give a bitch a heart attack so if you down babe if you want a rampage bottled up like champagne im the kid you call on when youre trying to get laid or if you just wanna blaze come through with a blunt babe ill provide the weed supply so long as you and me abide youre just as good as being high and i am thrilled to be your guy this is how you live a life your hand in love, you're by my side blah blah Caitlin McCormickewww dirtyy April 14, 2011 at 1:33 am Caitlin McCormickyou know how i like it, lights off & dirty April 14, 2011 at 1:34 am Anthony Flammiai added to it for you April 14, 2011 at 1:49 am Caitlin McCormickhaha much classier ;o) i like it April 14, 2011 at 9:44 am hi April 13, 2011 at 4:09 am hello salt this wound is warm how much can i take of you sniffing 'round here like a hanging broken limb youre the fly in my eye at the bottom of the ninth when i go down swinging you're brain freeze on a hot summer night how dare you take the fun out of life its down the street not across the road and its a long trip with a dull blade fucking faggot deep shit yall and cherries April 11, 2011 at 3:10 pm This only makes sense if you think its possible to fall in love with a set of hips. Having recently moved to Philly I am now inclined to think this is possible. Its the way you sashay this way that way got a kid thinking about how your lovelys move about all day, running through my mind like a parade her figure moves this way that way her bodies just a charade whipped cream topped with a cherry pressed between her painted lips squished between her finger tips up against her milky skin lets go body prepare to sin so we hit it this way lets get it on says marvin gay we're only minutes in but i feel it creeping in Oh NO no bone now im feeling so alone dont know what ill go on for solo no home no friends no hope I cashed in all my chips for the way she moves her hips Now Ill take this pain and bare it for at least i got my fix good thing ive got this love for you or else i wouldnt exist. Caitlin McCormicki absolutely love this ant, incredibly amazing April 11, 2011 at 9:21 pm i have to pee so badly March 25, 2011 at 11:34 am I was born a cynic My umbilical cord was wrapped around my twins neck My mother still cries at my birthday Well, her blank stare deepens and my dad cries for her as he tries to hold her hand he moves for both of them now parkinsons, one of many gifts nobody wants but there's a reason for everything a plan written by a man absent for question Jessica TaylorYou've been peeing more than me today. March 25, 2011 at 11:53 am Anthony Flammiaif you like this i probably didnt get my point across lol March 25, 2011 at 4:01 pm Aaron Baschooops. i only saw the part about having to pee and i thought it was funny. now i read the poem. acknowledged and "unliked". Sorry! March 25, 2011 at 4:36 pm you weren't an accident March 24, 2011 at 11:39 pm I'd like to hold you not like if we cuddle long enough and I keep my hands moving that maybe you'll give in like my breath when I was waiting on one knee like our new born child when we meet and I stare in disbelief that you stare back not believing what you see between the reflection in our eyes a life passes from our first date to lamaze classes I never believed in love at first sight but son if you had seen your mother that night you'd understand why I made her my wife she breathed into me life I'd yet felt when her lips touched on mine she freed me of doubt that I'd die alone oh I thank myself for waiting for perfection not choosing the direction of an erection haha blah blah this is gay writing about love blows son when your mother said try to make me *** i knew that i could have her *** i had to **** her hard to make her *** as long as she's ******* i can have her *** nearly ******* her out really made her sweat but at the end of the day it wasn't all about *** i swear Jessica TaylorThis is a good one. Read this one. March 25, 2011 at 1:12 am Caitlin McCormickI like this alot. It was beautiful @ the beginning lol shoulda known you'd flip the script real quick xo March 25, 2011 at 12:01 pm efdsrtre March 24, 2011 at 10:51 pm ive got a habit of chugging cause sipping aint living i jump in head first i want to know right away im the first in line first to tell last to care the first to raise his hand i eat the whole thing stay up all night wipe until i bleed... im not happy unless i almost overdose i speed in the rain i drive 50 miles on e i make fun of guys much larger than me i say what i think and mean what i say wear what i want even the same thing every day i turn without looking roll through stop signs fuck without condoms everything i say is a lie i tell girls they're beautiful as we pass in the street im always myself from my hair to my feet (this is getting boring) Caitlin McCormickhow could that ever get boring? You to a T March 25, 2011 at 11:57 am Anthony Flammiai want to be a junky shel silverstein March 25, 2011 at 3:34 pm Caitlin McCormicku'll always be my junkie shel silverstein...i love him btw, but most of your stuff doesnt make light of the dark situations, you just dye them a darker shade March 26, 2011 at 6:01 pm bored and fighting grammar hard March 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm I'm looking for someone if I lose I'll miss i'm pretty sure though she doesn't exist my life always backwards a hit a miss if i stumble into your life, a graceful exit Caitlin McCormickyou'll never leave me though....love you ! xo March 24, 2011 at 12:05 am sad face March 21, 2011 at 1:16 pm when i saw you i didnt have the words at first but you thawed me out and for the first time i didnt doubt id ever find the one because with you i had nothing to worry about when you started puking every morning i thought we had started a life i though we found a reason i thought we'd be together but when you started blacking out when the test came back abnormal the spike in your white blood cell count that life that we created, about to take you out i never hated our love more to think that i had been so selfish if only i'd pulled out you said you didnt think you were ready i thought when you saw that ultrasound you'd be free of doubt i felt the endless needle pokes the scratchy hospital sheets i saw the way you looked at me when they said you'd be gone soon to say my last goodbyes i didnt think i could how dare them pick our child over you he taunts me with coos and laughs i want to fill the tub and empty him of life but instead of ending innocence i decided to take mine but as i turned the water red and my smile hurt my face thinking of seeing you again i realized god would not let this happen so heaven doesnt exist and this child is all i have left of you to give him my love for you is what i have to do please, i bet you March 18, 2011 at 1:23 am i've fucked everyone today i cant count the number of threats oh to be openly gay but not touch trust me, you may be punched (please, i beg you... please.) Jessica TaylorI loooooove you March 18, 2011 at 1:42 am aba bcb cdc ded efe fgf ghg hih iji jkj klk (there's a first time for everything folks) bonus points if you get it or care March 17, 2011 at 6:16 am I want a girl with no pep in her step drags her feet when she walks and always looks like she's spent I want a girl I can't hear when she talks as if if she tried she'd be taken aswoon who just sits there, cries, and chokes on her thoughts I want a girl who's dark like the moon that needs the light of another at the rate that she's going won't be tan soon I want a girl that don't gots a mother who's father ran out and a brother that doesn't tell her he loves her I want a girl that feels nothing but doubt every step is on egg shells she can't figure out what life's all about I want a girl who's hand's never been held god whispered the name of her lover but she cant figure out how it's spelled I want a girl that will never discover a path to walk on, she's always lost its just one dead end road after another I want a girl as frigid as frost as if she's made out of snow who will send you a shiver if you she accosts I want a girl who just doesn't know she's got two left feet so try as she may can't control where she goes I want a girl who just doesn't need cause no amount of stuff could make her complete I want a girl that's about to give up but when she meets me decides love is enough. testing March 16, 2011 at 1:08 am i feel my hands shaking i see your body moving pretending to be under me my confidence is on its way out see, the bartender made his last call and I've yet to get these words out                                                                                          (up there is good) of course we leave together i could not avoid this scene i wanted to tell you that you're like summer's air we should split cab fair we should wake up tomorrow in the same house you take my bed, I'll ride the couch just as long as we're across from each other at the table when the sun rises and our spirits alight (I'll be quick so you have enough hot water, but maybe you'll let me shampoo your hair someday) can you imagine things forever alright? (why are we afraid to be honest?) no more lonely nights no more going stag, third wheel dewers, cigarettes, and syndication of rocko's modern life... (we should be friends) (do me a favor and comment if you make it this far i might have a raffle if i have a big enough audience) Aubrey Alexandrahaha March 16, 2011 at 7:40 am a few more March 15, 2011 at 11:46 pm probably. picture yourself in the fifth dimension watching us travel through the fourth. Tubes the shape of what we know as everything and existence race about. ok ignore that part. but entropy is afoot. assimilation is our fate. but i think entropy works outside of physics too (we all like shit coated in sugar) maybe two souls becoming one, life intertwining maybe that kind of assimilation is desirable. i think its called love or something haha, you must think I'm on some shit. i hope you enjoy life. -anthony Caitlin McCormickI most certainly enjoy you! xo love March 16, 2011 at 11:42 am yup im down to two lines at a time now, the weaker the better March 15, 2011 at 10:50 pm dont break your pose im just gonna flit about you jebahdiah March 15, 2011 at 6:35 pm the girl i dont know is the girl i desire did you feel that draw? heh March 15, 2011 at 1:40 am I promise you everything I want you to make that face you'll never know me March 14, 2011 at 8:41 pm I can fake you happy until the clock ticks... we'll name our children and buy a one bedroom house help you hate your parents and friends I'd complete you in every way and one day run away my biggest fear is that one day someone might actually get to know me hfhf March 13, 2011 at 4:56 pm i like how you crouch on your stool with your coffee and your grimace and your mispainted toes your chin on your knees its fucking four am and im trying to sleep the only light in the house is your screen you turn up the shins to lure me from the sheets we dance in the cereal spilled last week weak March 13, 2011 at 1:53 am It's not that I enjoy these lows; I hope to god I make it out Sometimes comfort takes a brutal form The gutter holds me close. I'm mostly hollow I seek your heat, that offering you make That turns the energy we store into a healing wave that's fed by our pain I'm sorry that I cried when we went to bed last night It's just you will never know what it's like to sleep at your side You keep me alive and at the moment that's a chore only you could do Hold out for me and things will be just fine how quickly we're willing to forget our engagements March 11, 2011 at 5:51 pm lets call the whole thing off lets pretend we didn't meet like this like the first time my eyes saw yours was the last time i wondered what you'd look like it could have took my whole damned life but it happened tonight under the cover of the stars we took to the streets and made out in every bar we could see until drunk we stumbled into your bed a linen cocoon, sheets as soft as you when any way you wriggle meets cotton and flesh blinds drawn so the sun won't interrupt but the alarm clock sounded and crashed and oh shit its caterers, tuxedo fittings, and floral arrangements how quickly we abandon engagements my worst days are always spent sober. how long can one live a life while wishing it were over? March 4, 2011 at 3:17 pm what can I say? I'll fuck with your head and then take you to bed If you didn't fall for it what would I do? I eat girls like you, what else can I do? and she's a, she's a queen but all that glitters in this girl is sure to fade she wears a crown that's made of clay that withers away each time it rains tears run down her face and paint it with pain I'm there with a jar to bottle them up distill them to whiskey to fill up my cup I'm only happy when I am drunk I feed on your pain, but it's never enough he's a 2000 year old troll. March 4, 2011 at 2:58 pm I'm a method actor and the world's my stage I've had a gun to my head so many times it all feels the same broke? close dead? almost care? not really seen? rarely floating or dragged carbine crime spree stoned mess obsessed narcissist need rest but running on empty on feelings on can't be this obscene too long you can't save me from me join me don't be anything feel free feel poor feel cold scraped knees ripped jeans no coat no goals no way to climb out no way to find out how to make something of nothing how to make something of me there aren't many healthy thoughts in my head. March 4, 2011 at 2:32 pm you picked your scenery i've been this from the start big intentions you say its too late to stop i say its been raw but though the truth hurts and you cant deny it. i know that you know that youre better than this dont rely on the flame that lives in your chest get out of your heart and back to your head you settle for lies but deserve the best and I can admit that I'm not like the rest but it isnt worth it when you think of the risk so what if I built you a tower, I knocked it down so what if I make you glow, I'm never around and we sing well together, but I'm not in the mood I say that I love you, but that's not the truth your parents love me 'cause I lie through my teeth and I'm texting my mistress while you're rubbing my feet I can't believe you believe that I work late at work yup, it was the car door that ripped my shirt yup, her car broke down and I gave her a ride yup, she was just being nice when she asked me inside just checking my pulse, ran her hand up my thigh our tongues traded secrets as they danced in our mouths it took you walking in to figure it out. it was a thursday, your sister's at six she asked you kindly to pick up her kid she had to work late, you know how it is her car's in the shop, catch a ride with your man we'll stay under the radar, just stick to the plan but who would have guessed, kid forgot his books and that's all it took, you should have seen that look your face said it all, you lunged for the drawer took a gun to your head and lived no more so we fucked on the couch as you lay on the floor Jessica TaylorThis is perfect. March 4, 2011 at 2:53 pm Anthony Flammiaeh, the concept is cool. delivery not so much. March 4, 2011 at 3:00 pm Jessica TaylorAs the writer, you are required to feel that way. March 4, 2011 at 3:23 pm Chris Mallamlikes March 5, 2011 at 8:42 am Bridger Whitesellrandomly found this somehow. enthralled. miss you dude. March 7, 2011 at 10:13 am set to the tune of February 27, 2011 at 12:27 pm this story needs to be told instead im bleeding from my mouth i bite my tongue to stop these words im far too kind to let them out even though i dont owe someone like you anything id send you away but i cant help but let you in so im tripping on my feet as im fleeing from the scene knowing you'll follow the tracks to damn this boy and his beliefs you know that i am sad but its on my pain you feed as you whipe away my tears and tell me im not what you need i know i am wrong but i cant help but let you in i know we dont belong but to give up now would be a sin cause i denied my god and moved across the state i left my friends and family for the chance to ask you on a date you strung me along said call again when i become a man but to hold your hand i'd let you drag me through hell again yup February 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm it is generally accepted that life is the correct path the unknowingness of death obviates its avoidance there is nothing inherently wrong about choosing death removing the option would be a removal of freedom which would negate the value of life the only reason to desire someone's continued life is selfishness this obviously ignores the guidance of a deity although anyone worth my words dismissed that drivel long ago i would almost argue that death is the only true self expression but i dont want to right now status report. February 26, 2011 at 8:55 pm have you ever known anything better? do you cling to it? will your life ever be as good? mine won't i've never even felt it i've never held her and i've finally decided i dont want to stick out your tongue my skin is salty close your eyes I want to show you something sit down, i want to take you somewhere dont let me in our love is better this way why do you get embarrassed? what is it about the public eye? their rubric is broken there's no way she exists my brain is a collection point for chemicals they are disarray i do not exist this isnt reality my father has trouble empathizing i dont place blame people are programmed my code returned allot of errors that went ignored his was just too simple it makes it easy to love him but hard to relate my sister is vibrating rapidly between two points i've seen her at her worst, i may have even taken her there i'm sure her best is yet to come she needs freedom from her own preconceptions that will take many more failures to come into fruition we wont ever hate each other but we may drift. druggedup February 23, 2011 at 4:35 pm I've seen the devil he held my hand while i spiked my blood i've stumbled down streets and in that decaying state the world vibrated with me have you ever sustained happiness? me neither but i've learned to love this dolor come with me blope February 15, 2011 at 9:53 am if its not cold outside how will we fall in love? you smile as the lights go out oh what i'm thinking of this is not pretend suspense about to end i want to fall in love i think i fell in love darling its cold outside i should be heading home isnt your mom inside? dont want to wake her up its best if i just go dont wait for my call hun oh darling dont wait up i'm good at giving up and you deserve much more i hope we're not in love. baby maybe i'm onto something here February 13, 2011 at 4:56 am i like to write things i think that make me uncomfortable i want to take a knife to bed and act all surprised when you wake up dead tell the cops it was the first night we met and i took you home 'cause you seemed depressed that's not your toothbrush in the cup not your soy milk in the fridge are we through here officer? i need to get these sheets off my bed your smell wont linger ive disposed of your clothes i told your mother i loved her and then i turned on the tube whole milk and fruity pebbles not a care in the world cause she couldnt just relax what else was i to do? (side note people talk about slicing their wrists, blah if you're going to do it be efficient at least be decisive and be precise and dont make a mess unless you hate whoever is going to have to clean it up) some girls February 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm i take people for granted                    (in stride) i lied and said she interests me i lied and kissed her back i lied right up until i arrived in her mouth from that point on i was pretty honest "that was mumbleivable... really spectacularish" we cuddle because you feel useless, harsh but accurate in the moments directly after i come people like me exist. skinny ankles February 7, 2011 at 6:15 am I want a girl with tiny ankles underneath shiny stockings who fucks like she means it and doesn't care who's watching i want a girl who kisses with her tongue and knows how to use her hands I want a girl who sometimes doesn't wear underwear and always moves her hips to the music. I want her to hold hands tight 'till we're sweaty who moves with my touch and looks in my eyes do you kiss on the first date? do you care what you look like naked with the lights on on my bed pushing your curfew you turned your phone off even though you're sure I'm bad news you don't talk about your ex and don't wanna hear about mine we don't fight over bullshit 'cause we don't have the time i want a girl who wakes up early and we smoke cigarettes and drink coffee in the cold we no longer shower alone... we've both got our hustle and don't worry about money smoke a blunt and fuck not for want but because it brings us closer to god. i want to change my address to between your thighs and my destination is the stars in your eyes i want your hand on my knee as we scream down the streets to our favorite cafe for biscuits and tea lets have a kid and settle into a life like the pictures and movies that taught us about are we in love? is that what this is that's drawn us together is that what this is? am I with whom you want to exist? I'm looking with whom I can exist... one teo February 7, 2011 at 12:52 am im awesome ive got the moves that make them other boys jealous i keep my hands warm while i probe your cerebellum its eleven thirty time to be showing you the door i know you'll soon be coming back to me for more its blankets, cocoa, and my telescope on my lawn searching for heaven cause we yearn to see god but instead we scope orions crotch cause to us life's a joke my hands fit great in your pockets while your tongue is down my throat but their cold on your stomach while im groping for the gold but no rush hunny its worth waiting for im told. welcome February 5, 2011 at 2:54 am ok, i'm going to show you around a bit this first place is confusion you're going to be here for a while and return often It Was A Great Year (Movies With Robots) - Lyrics Text by GMM Mechanically reassert, electric always on alert Intentions are profound Emotionally never hurt Biologically disconcert We never ever let you down imaginary photoshops of thousands of megawatts We differ from your kind Celluloid snapshots Of silver screen Robots The image linger the image printed in our mind It was a great year We tried to stay there It was a great year for movies with robots It was a great year We really liked it there It was a great year for movies with robots Absolutely digital Opinions predictable You know what we think Programmatic gentle Never accidental We alwas play in sync Prioritize directive Logical detective We'd give ourselves for you Never too affective Always objective Our feeelings Our feelings equals true It was a great year We tried to stay there It was a great year for movies with robots It was a great year We really liked it there It was a great year for movies with robots (Repeat) gay shit February 1, 2011 at 7:17 am its might be me but these fags seem always laced with alcohol and its the bar scene the bathroom blowjob the lets walk out adjusting our clothes lets lipstick stain so everybody knows but nothing happened you watched me piss and i backed up 4 feet before i started to miss we had a laugh you slapped my ass then game face dont whipe the sweat let my brow announce i sucked his dick Caitlin McCormickyou're dirty February 1, 2011 at 10:32 pm ok here we go January 16, 2011 at 3:10 am ok i always say its never enough hear me out, please (here and now) I met you we were seventeen I meant it but you didnt know what i meaned i said, darling listen i love you but there's always a but lets keep this close to the cuff lets sling lead behind closed doors 'till the repetition feels like a chore and we go on like we're ready to fight but we live each night like there's only tonight and listen i love you but lets not sing it out loud yet let's work it in the bedroom 'till your room isn't enough and the mountains take our stage and we scream, again and again i want to take you there feel me when I'm gone lust over my lips that rested upon your hips 'till you're overwhelmed with bliss and I'm so slow but you're vibing with me yet and my tongue inside your mouth is what you should give up for lent that's not to say that god does not agree he made our bodies for our bodies to find why we should be spread your salt about me sweat like you insist that I taste what lies inside you like your essence is the only reason the reason I exist kennst du was ich sagt?/ when i say I need you near when I insist that you stay near even at my best, I need you dear but don't wrap your life around me dont change why you exist just let me compliment you but only if you believe in this (I want to love a girl for what it is she is I don't want to change her only compliment her and with her simply exist.) you danced and moved and shaked like no one else exists but i saw it in your hips that if you let me in we could coexist. yeah we should coexist. Anthony FlammiaI used to know this girl Who gave her love away To every guy she met And with all the games they played She never seemed to cry She never got upset And one by one they came And one by one they left I thought that I could fix her If she would let me in But all of my advances Were shut down in the end When days turned into months I begged her to explain And this is what she sang It's not like I'm a slut Or that I really like to fuck I just want every boy I see To walk away with part of me Until there's nothing left to hold Until there's nothing left to hate I appreciate your help But even you can't save me from myself I used to know this boy Who took notes in a book But he ripped out all the pages Before I got a look At all the words he scribbled At all the lines he filled But the ink stains on his fingers Told me he was skilled At capturing a feeling That most of us just miss The simple pain of living With goodbyes on our lips I found one of the pages Crumpled by her bed And this is how it read It's not like I am weak Or that I don't know how to leave It's just that every time you cheat You bring me closer to defeat Until there's nothing left to love Until there's nothing left to say I know that you need help But even I can't save you from yourself January 16, 2011 at 4:23 am Caitlin McCormickmy tongue inside ur mouth is what you should give up for lent....sick line ant love it! xox January 17, 2011 at 2:31 am chicken nuggets January 4, 2011 at 6:52 pm 50 piece chicken nuggets 5:35pm 9.99 5:35pm mcdonals yes fat kids rule 5:35pm i think that's only on fridays. 5:35pm just in time for new years resolutions 5:35pm to be a fat kid? oh. we have frozen pizza too. 5:36pm wait i have sad math 4 piece is 1 dollar 40 = 10 i cant REALLY eat 50 chicken nuggets 5:36pm i would hope not. 5:36pm so its really not that good of a deal cause those things self destruct in the microwave 5:37pm i think it's more geared towards more than one person. 5:37pm the plastic nanoweb holding up the flavor compound dissolves people who consider purchasing chicken nuggets by the 50 dont have friends Aubrey Alexandrahahahah January 5, 2011 at 2:18 am i found these saved on my computer January 4, 2011 at 6:49 pm whats good? Lol wats good? Not ur average message from my flam! So yeah . . . Cheese cake is pretty damn good! Lol when are you coming home sweetie miss u! i picked whats good up from you speaking of you... you must have a new boyfriend cause you always seem to disappear when theres a guy around go go gadget cait Lol shut up my charger 4 my laptop is busted anddddd i've been hanging out w chris again. . . Don't even comment please. And wats w the go go gadget cait lol See! I know you too well. Cait 1: No boyfriend; keeps in touch with me. Cait 2: Boyfriend; forgets I exist. I said we're talking ! Not my boyfriend! N more importantly. . . My lap top broke so my sister's fiance took it to fix n i haven't had it in like two weeks so i cant go online anymore. I will always keep in touch w u cuz ur my flam n i loveeeee youuuu! ! i like everything that comes out of ur adorable mouth! and im sick of being online buddies with u, i wana sit n smoke a blunt n watch u make xylophones outta broken stools all high like old times lol! and give u a freakin hug n go out to lunch without stupid significant others! boooooooo! i cannot wait for u to come home! u home for good this time? like is that when you're transferring? because if so, hellllllllllls yeahhhhh! when you get home we are going out and were guna get soooo shitty and dance our faces off at the bar, and everyone is going to be soooo jealous because we are amazingly sexy. imagine how jealous u'd be if u were some random person watching us? haha i loveeeee youuu! getttt homeeee damnit!  ♥ Cait  Caitlin McCormickrandom <3 loveeee it January 5, 2011 at 8:23 pm ignore another hospital rant. January 3, 2011 at 1:33 pm if you leave before your primary care physician clears you, you aren't allowed to have the prescriptions that your surgeon wrote you. will anyone please explain to me that logic. a fucking doctor wrote me prescriptions and said I'm good to go home but i have to wait for some other prick to find time in his busy schedule to agree with him? i'd be fine with that process if they held him to some kind of schedule but I got a "maybe today" yesterday and i'm getting a "maybe today" today which is sounding alot more like a "probably tomorrow" as the afternoon lingers in. also, my nurse today is wildly cute. shes probably about 26 and she's definitely attracted to me because shes an absolute bitch and she isnt quite settled with her wedding ring yet. that sounds vain but the alternative is that she is a bitch for no reason and thats worse in my opinion. dont read this January 2, 2011 at 3:37 am so, they run all the IV shit through a pump and none of the nurses can figure out the fucking thing. they keep getting pissed when they see me fiddling with it but for fucks sake, if the bag of dilauden says 150 mls an hour and its 25 mls it shouldnt take an hour and a half. it should take 10 minutes. I wrote it out for the lady and she still didnt believe me. I get the confusion, they run two bags simultaneously. one saline, and one of whatever else. the pump has rate inputs for two lines. that is, you can tell it if you are running two bags and set the rate individually for each bag, but i googled the pump and found out that it just pumps at twice the rate of the slowest one. which makes sense because they piggyback the lines into one and only one line actually runs through the pump. anyways, no one is still reading this. any rant written in a hospital should be ignored. i wasnt done yet December 15, 2010 at 6:34 pm i tend to start with the leaves and the rain brush off my sadness and start out again to get coffee and haircuts and books about art this spring i'm new and i dont know where to start though this time its different, no blind dates or bars no online arrangements with complete strangers this time ill tell her that enough's enough this time ill tell her its been long enough that i've loved her from the start from the minute she smiled without parting her lips and shook up the room with sashaying hips and over her shoulder looked back to me through a door as if saying you know where I'll be and while i sat there with a warm beer trying to pysch myself up he walked in and kissed you and fucked everything up -- I like when we take my car cause we have to sit close but life is rough, always just shoulder to shoulder lets start taking advantage of these red lights who cares if they beep who cares if we miss our train lets just lay here for days and not waste them on sleep lets start soon please wear this ring that changes color like your blushing skin but just read the note if youre lost on me simple math, three words i love thee Caitlin McCormickWonder who this is about lol very very cute ant December 15, 2010 at 7:52 pm this one is called hold me December 12, 2010 at 5:30 am hold me like this disease might be terminal and we're waiting for the biopsy hold me like i'm headed to war and we dont believe in the fight hold me like your first balloon hold me like your breath at a pool party like when you were nine years old and you could still open your eyes under water hold me like you did the phone while waiting for me to call the first time after you ran across the party to slip me that napkin and a shy kiss because i was trying to leave for an hour but couldnt find you and my heart sank hold me like our first child hold me like your lipstick before our first date press me into your lips hold me like i held your hips when we danced at our wedding like the guests didnt exist hold me like your knees when its cold and youre waiting on a curb hold me like a cigarette after sex drawing me in again and again hold me like a tandem jump you cant wait to let yourself fall for me cause youre not afraid of the heights we're destined to achieve hold me like adam held eve hold me like i lost my dad and you loved him as much as me hold me like your dog had puppies and you dont have enough hands to gather all of their love hold me like an overfilled ice cream cone catching every drop working the edges to the top your mouth on a mission me nothing but submission hold me like a door for an old lady hold me like fifty cents you spare to the homeless hold me like a camera aimed at his first steps hold me like your breath when i got down on one knee Aubrey Alexandrabeautiful. December 12, 2010 at 8:36 pm Caitlin McCormickLove it ant December 14, 2010 at 4:20 pm Meaghan MacDonaldAmazing January 22, 2011 at 9:42 am every second December 7, 2010 at 2:15 pm everything is still alright i was really bad there for a minute i didnt even realize how bad everything has been alright for three days i need to find some direction and soon the holidays are crap someone told me you can tell alot about a person by how they spend their holiday i dont think thats true i think most people feel obligated to spend it with their family thats not a terrible obligation but the distinction obviously determines sincerity or something none of you know what the fuck im talking about youll make your assumptions and come close each with your own little portal into my world but really, you havent a clue make sure your reason for living is worth the effort December 6, 2010 at 1:14 pm everything is alright i mean ive put needles in my arm while saying the same ive put every manor of substance up my nose and in my lungs and said everything's alright but last night i sat in my car and i pictured over and over falling a suitable distance for the rope to do its work i thought of how i might double the rope to make sure or maybe a shotgun blast on a stolen boat a mile off shore surely I would try to make it seem like i ran away there are only two people in this entire world that stopped my scheming i thought maybe my sister would understand she would probably let it slide add it to the fucked up history we already share maybe envy that i beat her to the punch but my father would never live on so im alive today for him and everything is alright I'm endlessly uninspired. November 29, 2010 at 1:25 pm You are making me new it's a long trip my head's against the window the tops down and I'm fighting cold I yearn for your arms when I'm in them I feel 6 months old and as lost as I can get I feel home I'm tired of being sick I just want you to hold. All Delighted People - Sufjan Stevens November 16, 2010 at 11:09 pm Tomorrow you'll see it through The clouded out disguises put you in the room And though I wandered out alone A thousand lights abounded on our home And I remember every sound it made The clouded out disguises and the grave So yeah I know I'm still afraid Of letting go of choices I have made All delighted people raise their hands And I took you by the sleeve No other reason than to be your leading man And you woke up with a fright Our lives depended on the visions through the night All we had always, all we had always wanted to before The hurricane inclined us, grappling on the floor All delighted people raise their hands Still the force of nature spurned Ideas of strength and style abated by the burning basement All delighted people raise their hands I'm not easily confused The trouble with the storm inside us grew But I had so much to give In spite of all the terror and abuse All delighted people raise their hands And the people bowed and prayed And what difference does it make? It doesn't matter anyway The world surrounds us with its hate Hello darkness my old friend I've come to strangle you in spite of what you'd like And don't be a rascal, don't be a laughing dog in spite of odds All I'm deciphering from the spirits in the light within All delighted people raise their hands In restless dreams I walked alone The clouded out disguises left me in a dream of lightness All delighted people raise their hands And the people bowed and prayed To the neon god they made And what difference does it make? I love you so much anyway And on your breast I gently laid Your arms surround me in the lake I am joined with you forever All delighted people raise their hands I'm not easily confused I feel alive I feel it glowing in the room All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands All delighted people raise their hands  my new philosophy November 5, 2010 at 12:38 am It's just information. uh. yeah November 2, 2010 at 11:21 pm I've been wanting to talk to you in a well sorted thought out manner but it seems like every time we talk things get sidetracked or cut short or I fear messing with your emotions. First off, I eternally feel as if my life is a pile of shit that I cant quite get sorted.I feel badly for people who take a liking to me because i fear i can never offer them the kind of stability they deserve.On one side of the coin, I love my brain. Its crazy and fun and doesnt ever feel confined.I skip from thought to thought and dream to dream. I make the most out of every day.Every outing. everyone i meet. I really truly enjoy life while living in the moment. But when downtime comes and i think about things, i tend to become distracted and restless easily.Rarely is this the fault of anyone im with or any specific goings on in my life, but the fun part of my brain that skips from bit to bit has a dark side that doesnt consider others. I rarely feel regret or sorrow or any kind of negative emotion. Really, its like 24/7 extacy.Though it tends to blur the lines of reality and dream and makes it hard to consider other peoplewho actually do feel hardship and duress. So when im laying here at 11 oclock at night thinking about the course my life has taken,i cant help but think, what if i stuck with the great things i find in life instead of seeking out new and better things.why cant great be enough and if better comes along realize that its always with a side dish of chance.eventually im going to tire of not knowing and that eventually is coming sooner than i thought that traces back to my regret of breaking up with youwhich is the main intent of this email i have no intentions of asking you a flighty request to get back together no hollywood romance "we'll work it out" bullshit we have alot of distance, time, emotion, and circumstance between us and that wouldnt be fair to anyone. i hope youve thought about everything at least a little bit and drew the same conclusions. one thing id like to ask you though,is if by any means, our lives should find their way near one anothersthat we at least make it a point to see each other often i dont believe in fate or destiny or any of that rubbishbut i do believe that giving up people you know you fit with is a waste so whatever it is we have, what ever possibilities our futures may holdlets not waste them  its like November 1, 2010 at 11:51 pm its like when she said call and you keep getting her voice mail or when he finishes and leaves says you look nice without looking drives too fast in the rain despite your white knuckles like sex without a kiss like video games on your anniversary like fighting over a toilet seat like when he doesn't hold a door or ignored you for his friends like two periods in one month or no periods in two... like meeting her dad or telling her about that stray kiss like pretending to care its guilt its calls from unknown numbers its like nights on the couch blah this feels contrived joke October 31, 2010 at 7:36 am Little girl in the garden asks Daddy “is that a mummy-long-legs underneath that Daddy-Long-legs?” Dad says “No sweetie, there are no mummy-long-legs, only daddy-long-legs.” Dad felt proud of her inquisitive mind until she stamps on them both saying , “We’ll have none of that gay shit in our fucking garden.” Frank Malvossilil johnny n his dad are in the park n sees 2 beagles fuckin. he says 'dad? what are they doing?' dad says 'theyre making a puppy, my boy' later that night johnny walks in on his parents having sex and asked what they were doing. dad says 'we are making u a new baby brother or sister.' johnny said 'well could u flip her over, because id rather have a fucking puppy.' October 31, 2010 at 8:16 am Anthony Flammiaahhaha. little johnnys teacher asked his class if they knew any multiple syllable words and johnny said ,"masturbate". His teacher said, "That's quite a mouthful." to which he replied, "No, you're thinking of a blowjob." October 31, 2010 at 8:22 am if you're interested press 6 October 22, 2010 at 1:37 am words bounce under my fingertips flowing like the song from off your lips a blessing to us all that you exist from the depth of your eyes to the breadth of your hips and we all have something on our mind a hang up from our past lives a love that lingers on your mind a situation not so different from mine i'm just here to let you know that i exist and i see you for more than a great smile and nice tits but i dont expect nothing just from time to time a hug and some talking Meaghan MacDonaldLove October 22, 2010 at 6:18 am My online game is in point October 20, 2010 at 11:43 am Rory like the gilmore girls? They talk wayy to fast. If you talk that fast ignore this.I don't like to drink, but I love heroin so there's that.I too love a good pair of flats and my shadow puppet skills are on point 'cause my phone charger makes my ceiling light up and I'm not good at falling asleep.or sitting down, but its hella hard to get medication for that; I tried.The chick who pretended to be a shrink made me meditate and curl my toes.I faked a car accident to get out of seeing her and that day an old lady hit me in a parking lot.She threatened to kill herself, but I felt bad so I told her not to because she only had a couple years left to begin with and how bad could they be?That was over 40 days ago and I still don't have my car back.Sheesh. Geographic paralysis. Anyways, Anthony I have all of my teeth except for my bottom cuspid's; They are deciduous. Oh, and a wisdom tooth. It wasn't really bothering me, but a colonel in Iraq pulled it out with a pair of pliers. See, all of my wisdom teeth had a slight mesioangular impaction, but that was the onl shoot. sorry. wrong button.I didn't mean to send that. I was going to just say hello. cuspids* Bye,Anthony Caitlin McCormickI love you...even more after reading this lol October 20, 2010 at 1:21 pm iwde October 10, 2010 at 10:29 pm have you seen the nothing hide between the hours have you chased the moments down escapements rusted tight glad you found my sleeves? twilight's twinkle taunts though it's cold outside i'd say that sweatshirt fits us well I havent written a note in a while October 10, 2010 at 9:25 pm ( I live inside myself.   I've been in here for years.   It's not really fair to the outside.   There's a lot going on in here. ) nothing going on here. wse September 6, 2010 at 8:31 am harsh though my words are lets fuck until the sunrise fireworks for my eclectic bride lets not figure out how this came to be wrap me in stripes warmth from the inside stains on my sheets came from my soul deeper than a river slower than a puddle ill shake you off fast enough to beg for more forgetful we are, though thanks for coming back dreamless sleep to ease the pain and pass the days September 3, 2010 at 4:00 am dreamless peace this space we make oh comatose from drugs we take cliches like to ease the pain let's never wake does love not cease to frusturate do hearts not want to stop the ache does every time my soul does mate my mind wander relentless fate i do not love for it ends the same blah wine August 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm imagine a cartoon when the main character is being followed by an overly obvious but tryingly sneaky not necessarily nefarious but pretendingly ominous character well that character is the rest of our lives and we both know its there but theres a game we must play i think its called coy but it ought to be called retarded until something sets off a chain of events enter drunken man board walk stumbling add us walking shoulders touching arms dead hanging hands poised for clutching he bumps you leads to an over exaggerated fall and of course i catch you and for a fraction of a second, accidently but totally on purpose our hands clutch and maybe theres enough time for an awkward moment where we make eye contact hands doing there thing and our subconscious battle wits could this be the beginning of it all? but chances are before we've started its all relegated to quits (then all of a sudden distant and unknown like creeping up so silent till blau i should have known like walking down the boards same thoughts dancing in our minds but it takes a stranger to slip in passing to start a series of events that turns us to lovers from friends that awkard drunken stumble our hands were already poised to strike but thanks to drunker passer by it all happened tonight) walk with me August 11, 2010 at 10:28 pm its safe here youre beautiful i pass judgment walking down the street my feelers feeling eyes seeing what they see we're all in it writhing around i cant say i like your friends much they dont get it i dont want to be surrounded by people completely plugged in oblivion suits me fine (that whole ignorance is bliss blah blah) if youre one of the few that can see walk with me tonight i still want that kiss fixer upper July 27, 2010 at 4:35 pm I've always admired your perception, your confidence when stepping, and the angle of your shoulders when you palm a smith&wesson. I like your way of blowing minds by talking about life and the words that leave your mouth when you avert a fight. The fact your always there for me, like a second family, keep me in your prayers because you're everything I need. The breath I carry in my lungs, the bullets for my gun, and my crying shoulder stalwart boulder rock of Gibraltar thou shall not falter raise me up above a cloud to see the heaven that awaits teach me wrong from right so i make it through the gates blah blah. i'm getting progressively worse. i sicken myself July 20, 2010 at 10:53 pm how would you know if i loved you would i suddenly stop acting foolish would you still want me if there wasnt the knowledge of my past ive perfected this but you must think to yourself im only mediocre why would he play with me youre only mediocre truth be told but im simple and mediocre is all i need i am this pretentious but i maintain this pretense on the basis that knowledge is merely contrived and i havent time for the masses i havent even time for myself the nights grow shorter as my responsibilities amass i respond to others to systems enforced by obligation and it sickens me Aubrey Alexandracompletely pretentious. July 21, 2010 at 4:13 am im lame July 12, 2010 at 7:12 pm here's to couches without cracks for the remote to hide in no more speed traps awkward silence sour milk ants on the counter stickless band-aids wobbly tables dull knives curfews and time limits distractio ko July 11, 2010 at 12:40 pm rhythm alone wont write the rhyme we're going to die, must pass the time must pass the time not a day goes by that i don't think about death i think about head on collisions and overdosing on dope renting a plane into the ground i think about how the people i know would react and how long it would take for them to forget i think about what i would write in the note or if i would write one at all people don't do well with uncertainty i think i would write a note it would be really hard to say what i want without sounding smug 'listen, we're going to die some people like life some people plod along work play serve obey that's it this is all there is there is no goal there's no point of satisfaction the thirst for life is insatiable that's not a game i want to play don't cry for me or rue my loss' cut short July 8, 2010 at 9:35 pm i hope you can know i cant so we can make it through these days until the day i know i can i hope that day wont be too late and when down upon my bended knee i confess that im ready that you know that it is real while i lay dead upon your feet juice June 18, 2010 at 10:38 pm i know sometimes it gets cold out youre just so simple im just too plain and ive been down this path once or twice i cant do it again but its not that i dont enjoy it its just my pleasure's your pain and i cant do this again ive only got 3 at a time June 13, 2010 at 4:15 pm i cant tell what you want with your hands in my pockets making eyes over my shoulder dont know what you need while your waist deep in shit "it's all under control" so kiss me in public fuck me with soul if we're ebbing or flowing please let me know rfambles June 13, 2010 at 1:06 pm like mos def said its all simple mathematics gotta have one less bag than whats wanted by the addicts you've gotta keep the demand cause thats where the cash is and im farming human souls gottem draggin on along looking for one little scrap of a feeling long gone from kiddies in the sand box digging for their dreams to adults in the real world desperate for a scene i keep mine its mine i got it dug it up youve got yours, for what its worth and if you dont got shit ive got mine, go to work deport the lazy off with their heads but for the one fish two fish got aids, got ditched infant with a drug problem ive got a dollar a day if we all had a dollar a day... rambling... Aubrey Alexandragood to see you writing again June 13, 2010 at 2:41 pm aint that a bitch June 6, 2010 at 8:08 pm elegance drips down her long black hair down the small of her back and the backs of her knees tattoos her ankles and pools at her feet your eyes can't help but start at the hips move up past her tits to admire her lips where sophistication is borne her words lift my chin up till lost in her eyes the only place I'd rather be is between her thighs but she'd probably dismiss me cause i don't believe it's the good life. May 19, 2010 at 3:27 am I've got that metal taste in my mouth from too many cigarettes and my finger tips set to wander are searching flesh for sex there's murder flashing on the screen and he's buzzing in our ears the way we fit together caught in glimpses of the mirror I wouldn't trade this for legit but then again I've never known when to quit. kream May 17, 2010 at 10:19 pm there's something nestled in just beneath the sheets that talks and turns about an axis of disease to draw you close and suckle on your needs a selfish act but I don't do guilty so I convince myself we're grown adults and if I'm the flame am I to blame if you touch me? to think that caring for someone could drag them deeper into despair the book says to do unto others as you'd wish them to do unto you I would have no one if you knew what I wanted from you Am I not the prince of privilege? Is it not apparent that I write my story? This is the life I choose. hnsky April 23, 2010 at 8:13 pm there he stood inside his silver cage through cracks light leaks but he'll never see the day again and they stab and poke blood runs and drips in piles on their finger tips that trace the shapes of chiseled cheeks on hollowed face defining marks assimilate silent screams come running i promise. i'm honest thats the least i can do be honest. youre too much of nothing im going to take you out the sky is lovely the flowers bloom drench the air with their perfume and at first in the field lying there you cant compare elation rides clouds floating in air but im gone and you let it sink in as slowly as possible. its a sickness i know i never mean it id not end things if it werent for a lust for being wanted i would have married her if she kept it together but its baby showers and bare feet and i cried when i saw the proof and the mirror said ' you too ' and i do Let me tell you that I saw your boyfriend walking down the street He was standing all shaky, hands all sweaty And he could hardl April 23, 2010 at 7:06 pm Let me tell you that I saw your boyfriend walking down the street He was standing all shaky, hands all sweaty And he could hardly speak I might as well take a minute or two to put you onto some game You got a boy like him, a man like me And that's just not the same Nevermind an SMS What you need is a sweet caress Everybody wanna talk too much But what you need is a special touch Ooh girl wouldn't that feel right? A little dinner with a candlelight And really when it comes down to it-- A man that's down to fight I'll give you bonafied lovin', oh oh oh oh The type that makes me feel old I'll give you bonafied lovin', oh oh oh oh The type that makes me feel old Let me tell you that I saw your boyfriend walking down the road He was standing all shook, couldn't even look And I was extra cold I might as well take a minute or two to talk about the perks 'Cause you can't compete with a man like me And that's just how it works Look, this comes as no surprise What you need is an older guy With a little bit of life experience The right clothes and the right appearance Ooh girl wouldn't that feel nice? Hot dinner with a candlelight And really when it gets down to it-- A man that's down to fight I'll give you bonafied lovin', oh oh oh oh The type that makes me feel old I'll give you bonafied lovin', oh oh oh oh The type that makes me feel old Oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh (x4) I'll give you bonafied lovin' The type that makes me feel old I'll give you bonafied lovin' The type that makes me feel old More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/chromeo/#share music queue April 21, 2010 at 7:26 pm crystal castles birdy nam nam Memory Tapes coki skream! La Roux i will be April 19, 2010 at 9:15 pm i'm fragile and old my soul is greedy it abates my frame let me wither onto you and you onto me living alone is heavy we wander down paths that crack beneath our feet walk with me now cause i wont wait i am it all just be a breath and a heart beat and im out the door. Jessica TaylorSorry PB. I'm not walking where there are gators all willy nilly. Come home to me and we'll talk. April 19, 2010 at 9:44 pm jh April 6, 2010 at 11:08 pm when i pour shit i spill on purpose i really see no reason fuck so we die cliche? fuck you youre happy? think so? think youre above programming? i hope you kneel down with your synapse flip your own switches at what point did we evolve beyond whats good for us thats a bad assumption as anyone worth a shit should have spotted there is nothing about evolution that suggests we only evolve towards improvement if you found a gun at the same time you found a pink sombrero you started wearing the sombrero while wielding the gun people might listen to you but maybe youre too stupid to decide whether its the sombrero or the gun so you keep both well this is my sombrero terrible analogy Dana Matrano"there is nothing about evolution that suggests we only evolve towards improvement..." that has been running through my head lately... you did a good job of putting it into words April 7, 2010 at 1:28 am etrghwrtsh April 5, 2010 at 9:21 pm its something sweet, i hope this ringing in my ears that often tells of backside jeers from peers that front happiness and cheer oh life you beg us to lie to make it by we bend the truth you look just fine your breath smells nice i couldnt care one bit your smelly cunt and hairy pits attract me so more and all at once lets go eat another burger freshness boasted in the ads supersize the fries a grease stained bag contains this mashed bedraggled mess that you finger licking eat and wonder why your breath escapes you walking up the steps oh fuck this kindness dripping shit the kind of truthfulness that suggests that feelings should come first, sometimes fuck you words March 29, 2010 at 7:28 pm enough now enough now once twice its enough now i've known you long enough to draw some conclusions and i apologize it was wrong to sleep with you but i'm a method researcher i'd feel bad, but whats the use? let me ghost write for your hopes and dreams tic toc, tic toc some day come and sweep me away but until then, melanize sallow days while my head hangs shuffling through puddles to the train my watch tells me where i am beep beep, my pocket plus 50 hit the streets again its quaint. im drowning. think of a presence absent of feelings of doubt help me reconcile make each day worth while i cant sound like hope cause i see the end ive dreamt of a place so absent of doubt its scathing in its this wont work not even for a while i wont find hope here at the end of my rope. hello mACARONI March 22, 2010 at 6:34 pm We should be more Je suis de Mars, she says a wink and a smile define the bars that outline her cage or mine as it were bien sur mein freund bien bien bien sur los geht's! rund um die "we're just friends" es moi fun pretending like I care and watching you flit about like you're not trying to drive me wild. i hope you can piece this together. This one's worse. March 6, 2010 at 7:47 am supposing you end up loving me is supposing you end up hurt they've got a word for me: jerk we stand you up to knock you down leave you in the rain tears stain your wedding gown you had yet to see me leave I told you I didn't love you I hope seeing is believing and I hope it hurts when I don't look back but trust me, the yo-yo's worse I'm just kidding. weak March 3, 2010 at 8:39 am I'm driving this car, and though sometimes the wheels break loose, I'm always going where I want to. I'm not looking for someone to ride co-pilot; drive next to me. Bob and weave. Follow and lead, and should our roads remain the same for long enough that one day we truck stop consecrate this love and decide share a plan. sobeit. But, until then don't be offended if I jerk the wheel, we endupended, and the life you couldn't wait to live wanes like tail lights into the distance. Jessica TaylorMy jeep upended once... that's all I got out of this. See you in Aaaapril, PB. March 3, 2010 at 9:35 am cwc and other scattered thoughts March 2, 2010 at 8:15 am sometimes i wake up on the floor and wish i could fall back asleep sit back at that bar the wawa just set up where my cigarette doesn't burn out and the scotch never makes me sick we just sit and bang glasses take turns dishing the dirt everyone's a good singer and we don't run out of things to play on a guitar passed around no one's worried about making it home and everyone's there with an ear pride checked itself at the door and we cry but everyone pitches in to catch the tears we fight for play because that's how it's always been when joe sliced brand's finger to the bone and ricky has his fits, refusing to put on clothes and nick disappears but never for long the crew strays but eventually we all meet we're rushing towards death, friends slow your breath relax your pose and be yourself ride the silence, hold my hand match my gaze no movements fast stop rushing toward death slow your breath punctuate your life notch a groove and another, another make room for lover's swoon start nothing or everything scan the room talk to those with whom you'll laugh comfort those that have it bad take a drink and leave early take your girl for sweaty palmed car rides nowhere fast, music trance until the scenery pulls you over let winter's chill still you on a bench the mist rises over scummed ponds in your thoughts you're your friends you are your life and bank accounts that ebb more than flow nails that hide themselves in your tires are an invitation to take a walk to connect with anything bang a line and fall inside yourself taste a loss of control now and again extacy dripping down your throat mourn someone else's pain emote. if only at that wawa bar in my mind Caitlin McCormickwe should write a letter or something..lol u took that wawa bar and rannn with it..lovee uuu!! March 3, 2010 at 6:08 pm not working February 22, 2010 at 7:28 am lifted up by my kiss on her throat riding the writhe of her hips says take it slow while removing her clothes coming through but won't let go it's too hard to type on this phone. on my way to a funeral. blah February 20, 2010 at 10:12 pm I'm feeling like feeling's not enough feelings aren't enough that's just wordplay nonsense can we make boring fun kill a night with our bodies mix ourselves into a child only the best bits don't worry i don't want to love too fast and i know, i know i know. I'm sorry nature just wells up bubbles over catch its thrill in due time. every time i start i wish i hadn't .read.me. February 17, 2010 at 6:49 pm ///working copy/// If the world was mine I'd give you all I owned. My eyes stir beneath their lids mixing dreams to stem my appetite. The times between the tides that come and go bringing you to and fro my home are much too long to bare. Obligations that say, "Not right now.", that make we wait to feel your grace, are at risk of being ignored. I'd prefer a zombie state through long work days to hear your voice late into the night or hold your hand through moonlit drives. Don't think me crazy or irrationally, fresh obsessed. It's just excitement and anticipation. I want to know you. I want you to feel me protecting you. It's taken twenty-two years to figure out what I'm looking for. Be patient with me exploring my new discovery and I'll promise to do the same. Speak your mind to me. Tell me your desires. Tell me the things I do that bother you. And tell me when I make your day. Tell me everything you want to and nothing you don't. Keep as much space as you want and if at some point you should find that you don't want any, let me know. and if you decide, that you can't get enough, let me know. I'm writing in an altered state. I'll try again some other time. Aubrey Alexandrathe last 3/4 was beautiful =) February 18, 2010 at 5:46 am Anthony FlammiaThat's funny cause that was my least favorite part. To each his own. or hers. call me. February 18, 2010 at 1:32 pm .stupid cute. February 15, 2010 at 6:52 am I felt like a child begging on my knees for it now I feel like I might be able to start understanding this attraction is overwhelming I can still feel her curves I want her to kiss me like she doesn't know how to hold back and invite my hands to explore her thighs draw my mouth to hers buried in the duvet we'll draw the blinds ignore days break call in sick miss class then do it again. let the only hesitation be wait, is that someone at the door? turn the music up they'll go away, where were we? hold my hands on my way down tangle your fingers in my hair I want you agasp wondering where I learned to do that and when you cum I won't stop 'till you tell the neighbors how I make you feel I wear it on my face a smile so big it hurts thinking of you fresh obsessed yearning for your caress did you feel me in your hands? my body begging for you? did you see my eyes wanting yours? my lungs wanted you inside (sorry about the hickey... wear it proud if you like an accident of desire) I want to take you out in public and love you like I shouldn't this soon watch seasoned couples swoon 'remember when we were that cute?' they can't hold a candle to the way I'll hold you up lean on me all of your troubles pile them up until I can't see till my knees are weak and watch, I'll carry them and smile give me a chance I'll make it worth your while. justa February 13, 2010 at 4:58 pm Words are all we have. And, fuck you if you want to use expressive dance or oil-based paint. You have your place; stay in it. Words are the only way to consistently approach actual understanding. done February 7, 2010 at 9:14 pm no one wants the scar but we all pick at the scab 00 for the love of freedom and the freedom to love 11 oh, that stench in the air? the only green i worry about is in my fist 22 life laissez fair what i want, no cares. 33 I am so: fuck you,why not? right now, how much nice lips, care suck? 44 disagree? to harsh? get the fuck out. short February 4, 2010 at 11:12 pm truly, morrow, nay yon we meet every day and though adieu of fear. an empty net that catches falls and seines regret says we get up and try again someone sent me an old AIM convo we had. February 3, 2010 at 5:32 pm The setup is that shes headed to a party with her boyfriend who doesn't sex her enough. JohnLydonFan: come here with my food and GlassJAw dammit. pyropunker1116: lol JohnLydonFan: it's not a laughing matter. pyropunker1116: lol JohnLydonFan: my boyfriend's coming to take me away to a party today JohnLydonFan: we are going to parTay down! pyropunker1116: play? JohnLydonFan: possibly. JohnLydonFan: but party first. pyropunker1116: when at a party get play like a rabbit JohnLydonFan: no way dude. it's gonna be all his dungeons and dragons friends. i won't be able to get a word in edgewise let alone get any play till later pyropunker1116: lol pyropunker1116: be like pyropunker1116: *wild stripper named lin lin from delilas do tongue slam down throat manuver* JohnLydonFan: Dude. That is the most coolest thing I have ever heard in my entire life JohnLydonFan: LinLin is my goddess. pyropunker1116: my elf is eating out your goblin just trying February 1, 2010 at 12:12 am its been years and years and years and years and it feels like yesterday i guess thats the way these things goes and miles and miles and miles youre right next door but i cant say hello i guess ill never know and im a liar liar liar cause the truth cant make its way past my lips stumbled down down down the same old icy walk that leaky drain cries as it dries my clothes if it only knew tucked in its like everything its like its never been its like trying January 31, 2010 at 1:47 pm I'm walking in the where am I I'm loving someone where'd she go there's things that I'm sure of things that I know, no things that I can't let go I'm learning that I'll never know my feet are planted in the mud my fingers outstretched can touch and caress but my grip cannot get enough - help me be alive get these tubes from my arms these nodes from my chest reassurance press face mine thighs to thighs magic park bench rides sunset hunters we haven't spoke in a while fey, away from me you're only attractive when I'm lonely when the park's womb is full of twins and it's cold and my dog won't shit and I know I was driving this car but somehow this is not my fault. - Philip Philistine be you cursed? or I be damned? but I'll take my drivel lap of my fodder wallow in its empty though you'll never relate funny that not being you lets me like you. is the second half of yours about you? what do you mean by isolated crime of grime soap box January 30, 2010 at 1:59 pm i think our biggest problem our as in society is that we only see people at their moment of completion whether success or failure the means remain a non issue and im not suggesting that failure is good provided the effort was strong there is no good there is no bad there is no dichotomy there is no success success is subjective to relativity and i know the success of my thoughts is well limited to the fact im writing them and you may never relate mopbile January 30, 2010 at 12:14 pm born in '86 thinking that I'm done nothing fascinates its never quite enough remember when we met i was interested but you walked away from me and now look at where i stand over you this condescension brings me no pleasure the wheels just keep turning i promised to be everything but you refused to walk with me you get what you get you're not the only one. electro static on the beat another mind meld but you wont admit defeat sick and tired of my mother on the throne this lonely kingdom someday i will own not mine but read or listen imo January 30, 2010 at 2:06 am I wish that I had known in that first minute we met, The unpayable debt that I owed you. Because you'd been abused by that bone that refused you, And you hired me to make up for that. Walking in that room when you had tubes in your arms, Those singing morphine alarms out of tune Kept you sleeping and even, and I didn't believe them When they called you a hurricane thunderclap. When I was checking vitals I suggested a smile. You didn't talk for awhile, you were freezing. You said you hated my tone, it made you feel so alone, And so you told me I ought to be leaving. But something kept me standing by that hospital bed, I should have quit but instead I took care of you. You made me sleep and uneven, and I didn't believe them When they told me that there was no saving you. kettering - the antlers the difference between. January 28, 2010 at 6:55 am the first time looking for her forehead i missed and kissed her chin for it was dark but she smiled and she said my naval, please so i obliged, but missed and she didn't seem to mind... - have you seen my shoulders? my starched black three piece convention usually drapes rather unaware of lookers on but enter the room you and gleaming rings disappear while pithless wives barely muster an austeresque countenance of foreboding you never could take a compliment while i pose erect and your waist wears my arm to draw ring fingered hands from pockets and blood from inflamed organs back to powdered noses yer January 20, 2010 at 6:45 pm i hung like wings on birds acage until one day she set me free i flapped and flapped and flew away so happy to have fled that place the window frames her sallowed face begging my return but crazy bitch for your four walls i will never yearn satan sings sad hands melt strings tears evaporate yearning to be heard his voice melts time as his chorus grows sharing in his throws a band of angels circling over head overheard the words i said melon collie sin trust truth lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie its the only way i feel it all when you brush me off and float above when you hold my arm will you come outside? will you breath me in? are you able to see the difference between the others and me or has my set up camp and my diligence played their story true and i scare you when will i be able to tell the difference between your blog post? January 10, 2010 at 8:30 pm day in and day out this is how its supposed to go and usually sometimes it does the default ringer goes off on my over-hyped smart phone that i dropped in the parking lot minutes after buying it it didnt get scratched, no, you can buff out a scratch it just got three or four gouges strategically located to annoy me every time i look at the fucking thing id put a case on it, but whats the point now three months without a case and no new scratches anyways, the ringer offends me i usually hit the snooze button until i barely have enough time to get to where im going, 7-8 times im supposed to go to the gym at 6 every morning we meet there for an hour and by we i mean the team i work with and by team, i mean whoever hasnt come up with a good excuse for the day and by meet for an hour i mean dwoddle around for 25 minutes and leave afterwards i drive home to shower and change 35 minutes each way or so i get lost when i drive mentally and literally ive the worst sense of direction i have no idea where my life is headed i cant keep a goal for longer than a day work has consisted of burning 8 or so hours with a bunch of people i wouldnt hang out with if i didnt have to thats not to say on average that they arent alright people but i wouldnt hang out with most people given the option we leave at some randomly chosen time head off in twelve directions im not sure if anyone else hangs out afterwards i dont really care i come home my room is always just a little bit too messy, but not messy enough that i do anything about it until someone threatens to visit then maybe i fold some clothes i sprinkled some of that carpet cleaner you vacuum up well i didnt vacuum it up yet Caitlin McCormicklol thanks for the update ant January 13, 2010 at 12:18 pm blah blah blah January 8, 2010 at 6:54 pm ever looked at someone and it felt like fate? but with all your nerves couldnt beg a date just an akward smile too little too late blah blah blah Caitlin McCormicktell me ur talking bout wawa girl again....ur going into stalker mode January 13, 2010 at 12:19 pm Anthony Flammiawawa girl haunts me January 14, 2010 at 2:33 pm Caitlin McCormicki see that, why dont u just go to wawa and ask her out. grow a sack man lol January 14, 2010 at 3:18 pm Anthony Flammiaeh January 14, 2010 at 4:35 pm they are true January 7, 2010 at 8:45 pm I'm a seed in the ground cold with potential quench my thirst brighten my day and boughs I will grow our fruit on display be the wind in my sails and I'll take you there beyond your dreams from hours plus between your thighs to sleepless nights while baby cries and though oft this story sordid proves that's the price of loving true the bad, i hear comes with the good so fill my plate with love and hate and I'll take the best and leave the rest but don't move past me with such haste take a tic to try it out you'll be surprised what you find out and reap the fruit of challenged doubt yeah January 2, 2010 at 9:35 am Its not a lie if you believe it if you heed to the weight of his love if you need it if youre too afraid of being alone ill be content with the telephone and i wont keep saying that he is wrong forced to live like a vacation December 30, 2009 at 11:20 pm i am ever faithful that we are making a comeback since the dawn of time man has sought stability time drags wear it like a blanket the warmth soothes but the sweat beads sometimes you get exactly what you need we lived in missouri we had to put drainage tubes beneath the bandages to let the yick out she groaned for 12 days and fought to lick the wound it was painful holding her pain this life is hard to bear and sometimes i hate its weight its hard not to focus on the hard parts some people look down on persistent depression but we learned how to feel and thats a door that cant be unopened forced to live like its a sentence 65 plus of life here are the rules here is how the rest of society has come to cope youll be expected to conform or we'll make it hard for you you will be scolded for reminding us that our trite and contrived way is ignorant of reality and seriously, thats ok but i find it amazing how much they care when one of us goes our own way the looks and the speak shows just how much they waste their energy printing press December 30, 2009 at 7:24 pm daily we are given the opportunity to make impressions on people we almost always choose the path that has the least amount of negative impact on the largest group in audience for example i dont really want to give an example lets just leave it at that. what i want December 28, 2009 at 8:07 pm I would like to live in a big house someday far beyond the reach of society somewhere near comfortable and my favourite music seeps through and always hones the mood i want to see mountains grow when land fails to communicate and tries to occupy the same space only we perfect communication and invent a new state hyper-conscious, endless bliss set the phazers to stun blasting haters out the way with the power of our love strong as a thousand suns and i want for once in life to not wonder why or whatfor to not feel this apprehension like my chest is caving in like i wish i was six again and all i wanted was my dirtbike and a yo-yo, a night with no homework snowdays and raised allowance and she held my hand, kissed my cheek that will get me through the week but today its my car sucks my job blows, im vulgar and i cant fix my thoughts i need to get laid more i need to get paid more i want kids and a big house where the wind blows the trees they whistle my sound track and everything is where its at and im ok with that but its not and i havent learned yet to be ok with that too little too late (way to abandon gods grace) December 22, 2009 at 9:44 pm i met a girl pyrey eyes seething soul naked as she was born standing on a pier commanding the waves to take her away said she, come with me as she dove but hesitating to join her too protective of my soul now ill never know come to me moonlit tragedy my siren luring you in obey the song i sing come on, come one charade left at the door facade laid on the floor that was the real you! i couldnt have asked for more guilty but late too little... may i blame fate? the cheap way out but freedom from doubt if i have another drink the path of least resistance adds to my outer layer its here in my falsehood that ill begin repairs but you bear nee floating in the sea and no amount of regret will bring you back to me oh destiny why have you forsaken us ( i wanted to squeeze this in) [lets not fuck interpersonal interaction is enough.] notmine December 19, 2009 at 9:45 pm "I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane." - John Green Anthony Flammiaan author, its from a book called Looking for Alaska December 22, 2009 at 2:49 pm i dont usually care, but comment with anything if you read this... December 17, 2009 at 11:41 pm i dont try because i cant recreate the apathy that regulates my days and its times like these that mean the most when youve got twelve angry stragglers that read your post without understanding why you waste your time without comprehending that whats yours is mine without realigning because its really how they feel and the only thing they want is one millions dollar bills because they fixate on whats placed before them and they dont speak in an open forumn because ears surround and they fixate on whats good for them christian zealots still monkeys applauding ignoring the tools that the new world affords them i caught you being an idiot oh human convention you know ill be there to rate your commotion and write you off chasing the ghost worth the fight if you pursue each lane the devils daughter st petersburg's revenge lifts the iron curtain and now you know i'd be there drifting towards the coast unpredictable reproach but at least, now youre giving up the ghost up up up up down down down down though the lines dont equal weight they contradict perfectly and you end up in the same place back where you started all eyes and full of want cried for your desires a ready to fill fount naked barren stems topped with roses bright its not till they corrupt you that your stalk harbors blight and it starts with the promise starts with disbelief that life could be this real you long for disbelief and the first around the corner the first that you admire send your doubt unfurling upon its funeral pyre im not more than a recollection of thoughts may they be mine brain's only let them ever haunt let you read my writing and not acknowledge but next time real happens relate back to my truths that not matters and not will be until thou decides thee will participate in this parting of seas i dont want to stop but you dont want to listen so its up up up up down down down down and we end up where we started again yet you dont believe me after your heart breaks and breaks again that this is nothing knew the heartache you're feeling i dont feel heart ache i dont have the ability to dance with you let it be all let it be not even if i could read what your mind know what your thought even if i could dance with you live vicariously through the only couple i met didnt love at all oh this is convenient this is the time when you expect everything and get nothing while i sit on the side line and watch life expose itself to you find your way into the swing id rather talk than have some trivial interaction that involved the swift removal of pants and the labored breaths that for days after the event were dominated by lovers pants that to the world expressed love that would not cease but in reality the first time you lips met mine was the last, for you, my heart would beat when i was a child late at night id low crawl the hall to watch my father ball and the tears that stained his face did not but taint the place that hollywood wished someday i would be because love is rot and forever is not and now this realization is all that i have got... im only capable of fragments December 16, 2009 at 10:31 pm his new home is the bottom of a trash can aptly named abortion number three why god, why me? why rob my youth ive got big plans ima be somebody ima finish highschool and make a family with someone who actually means something to me he would have been something he would have meant something why god why god one more hit one more go round the artificial bliss reality is boring but mostly im just boring and i like the thought of accidentally not being here anymore all the ghouls and the guns in this town line up to rhile you up take your pick is it ever going to be enough? all the legs and the lace in this bar couldnt get get you up all the lust claws and teeth couldnt get couldnt get you off you put it all on red and everyone wished you luck double or nothing is it ever going to be enough? wife number four headed out the door is it ever going to be enough? to love and be loved. is it ever going to be enough? Ryan Adam-Thesis Berndtfuckin a... too good. December 16, 2009 at 10:36 pm a few ideas ill never actually work on December 14, 2009 at 8:56 pm this is a showdown ill stare into your eyes fix mine, ready? can you feel that wonder what im thinking? ive got you pinned like a vegan rodeo no rides no ropes or cages just you in the wild and me uninterupting watching your flow is it ever gonna be enough to let me get to you all the boys all the voices swirling never stops i remember when we had already won i remember when we were lovers former friends in it till the end is that ever gonna be enough?! oh shit, feelings dont go away wish i knew this yesterday maybe i would maybe i would maybe i would have asked you to stay this grows and grows and grows and grows and grows and grows and its never going to be enough now we bruise knees trying to find a scene an invite to a party cause youve got to be in please stop the violence please stop the violence please plug the drain change the world the winds blow west to east theyve got me on my knees begging them to change bring you back to me and tears and flesh christ this strife this sordid life and toil and trouble blood boil and bubble nails to bone clawing my way alone and jesus christ gave his blood and flesh his life his soul his gift i adore your trouble lord but im growing bored with you not being around anymore i dont see you in this just your empty promise ahh the wakening this warmth overwhelming me suddenly the calm creeps in the song comes to an end and i fall asleep and dream good dreams again of the softest rain your kisses melt my grace i fumble for words to thank you for letting me lose you as long as im alive ill feel alive and when im alone ive still got you there dont easily offend love its better to let it go have a heart and let it grow feel love and let it flow Caitlin McCormickawwe you are an amazing writer. wheres my poem u ever find i yet lol, come see me bitch! December 15, 2009 at 3:18 am dont come back again December 14, 2009 at 6:40 pm darling, dont leave the house without your love muzzle remember not to talk to those that have a cock and ill be sure to check your phone the minute you get home and i sneak behind your back on your screen name to chat and see what they will say when they think that im away oh my love for you oh my love is true (fuck that i mean lets face it ive fucked up my share fair of girls not some champion, just what the fuck first, beyond some wild expanse of how in the bloody hell they fall for me or succumb to overwhelming boredom and settle for me or i dont know im hoping theyve been ruse and the tricks on me but the tears looked real and what is it in me that doesnt know what its got till its not and theres new but nothing seems to do oh i had a point through it all i dont think anyoneofthem would declare the means anything but joy but the end a wreck if i only i listened when she said. i wont come back again) dont tell her about this one... December 13, 2009 at 7:34 pm the ache fades but the tooth is still missing a new pain has taken its place im still managing to walk around but these prostheses shake and i meet i meet i meet ive courted dated hugged kissed danced fucked had conversations over expensive dinners and drank wine beneath bridges but it isnt the same without you so what was it that fateful fall? it was dreadful fright followed by mass confusion coupled with panic disbelief and instability full up of no guts a welcome distraction that proved quite barren during that time did the moon pull sufficiently to swing the tides to wash our empty boat a sea never to be launched again? oh for the love of it all every girl is tainted now and im afraid to call getting tao with it December 10, 2009 at 7:35 pm he said i wonder if i will wake up tomorrow and she said why so down? you should wonder what good tomorrow will bring same thing, he said to understand the value of simply accepting life is impossible for those seeking its meaning so we're left with options: to worry to wait to plan to wonder or, to be best yet December 9, 2009 at 10:48 pm _ Try to forget me, _ but I'm tattooed on your wrist: _ Issac Oscar Ulysses. _ I still owe you, and I'll never forget. (is a cute girl with a taste for music and words too much to as for?) haha December 9, 2009 at 10:42 pm im sorry that you took me in roses my disguise but reality introduced the prick hidden by my lies think of it a simple trick a game to play a thimble with a tiny pin glued inside its tip and though blood it draws and ire brews the fun i had was worth the ruse trying December 9, 2009 at 10:28 pm i fancied a test so we took to the hills and pushed from the cliff you to assure our love you should have seen your eyes i knew you loved me you should feel my heart, now i'm sure that i loved you, too trying to learn how to ski December 9, 2009 at 9:50 pm "cash rules everything around me take you on a natural joint get the money here we here we go dolla dolla bill y'all" i grew up looking in from the outside took it in stride, its just life time spins round the clock momma's bouncing on cocks snaffle'n up rocks damaged youth, yeah i know but i grew up relocated my brain to stay sane newports scotch and a notepad for jots a vegetative state to the point where your brain rots comatose repose got me up on my flow like a river splash like water that just sticks to your clothes and soaks you straight to the bone draws the heat from your soul puts the fire out, cold dark consumer hard drug user, a loser and abuser bruiser swinging at anyone, everything, with a bat break it down, silly mad wallow in the aftermath breath it in like the afterblast of nuke attack feel the changes rumbling in my lungs too much for tums epic heart burn fucked up sick of quick tugs want for true love not enough i know better than that as a matter of fact wrote the book on having that feeling that nothings gonna be alright toss and turn at night might as well end my life but too busy feeling sorry for me and what how that fucking whore ruined everything around me ah fuckit, world... goodnight long and typos? December 5, 2009 at 2:57 am dark came hard it lurked like an obelisk hanging morosely over our sleepy town and we swung from it on tethers made of silken braid we spun to pass the nights it wasnt depression, dont be mistaken it was more of the passion for wanderlust lost it was the contented feeling that swept our moods tidy and that sterility was proving too much to bare our love was true and of that we did not doubt but we sought something more and for that we were driven to increasing heights leavening risk and an abolition of faith spitting raw misvirtue in the face of saints deep in mind alterations of all sorts and striking doubt became the thing of not all was available and all was abused until panting rid of conscious we fell out of reality and there there we felt at home, as one where is that girl now as she tends to our kin weeping at the night we once embraced laboring to them with indolence, but dutifully hoping they should find meaning in life we could not and is that life? endless hoping for a reason trial and error yet revealing but somehow definitely worth seeking its like the rain drops falling they have no affect on me and happy thoughts fleeting only get restored when i sleep no use fretting, no way to spend a day move out motherfucker nothing in my way its a simple simple kind of life if youre a slave to money you just die ill wander down what ever road i go down theyre nothing more than places and nothing more than the people i meet and nothing more than the thoughts i have you cant change my mood unless i let you, unless we become something im not scared, never frightened i dont shy towards sanity i dont need to recognize my surroundings i steady drive slightly too fast i stay risking my face for thrill im a million different people in an instant and i cant change that, and i wont change that bittersweet cacophony my thoughts and like a sketch artist, i pick the best lines often blurry and redrawn thousands of times everythings alright i dont feel like i could ever get this right the day i find her the day i give up the fight in an instant my closest friends dont know me and its better off that way im more real with the cashiers and the bellhops im more real with the jesus i dont believe in im more real with a pen and a napkin at a truckstop at three am with burns on my fingers strung out on whiskey and dope counting the pennies in the bank im more real than the holes in my shoes ripped jeans that fit just right they make commercials about people like me but they substitute hard bodies i put in what i must and thats often not enough its one more day, then one more day and someday its over i hear people in my thoughts they say things i want to hear and i dont mind their not real its time to go ive got my car and a backback a few hundred dollars i scrimped together and no where to go and i make friends at the drop of a hat they feed me and show me a dram and a show and then its time to go i wander down paths too narrow and get stuck digging my truck out till bleeding fingers under a winters moon and theres no where id rather be sometimes i realize i dont fit a mold and that makes me grow let me tell you about rage when im judged ire towards wasted emotion be real for once in your life look inside and if for one second you think youre living someone elses ideal of happiness you better flee quickly but dont do it for me trust me, id be honored to set you free but dont do it for me my words are part of me they are on display to fulfill part of what i need and they arent for someone to read and respond i dont seek justification i dont want to fulfill a rubric and make the grade i dont want anything from anyone that i cant return in double i dont expect to find someone who can love like i can that can throw every cell into desire and i dont expect them to understand my whimsy and fleeting fancy its not their fault that my evolution of thought knows no bound unfortunately i have not been wired with remorse or sorrow i know not compassion or empathy im in top gear barreling down a mountain road and what ever patch of ice or grove of trees that should spell my fate whatever turn that should catch my fancy im off like a shot you understand less the more you know about me one time once in a time a moment a night you remember the smile the wink you remember that feeling that this is it and usually that dissolves quickly and turns to lament lament of a feeling that never actually existed what a terrible way to live alot of people live inside their heads acting out intricate scenes that know not of decay hollywood romance acted from a script but a crippling fear that safety of the scene in their head they may never act upon urges felt and thats a terrible way to live if i was worth an opinion that a terrible way to live fallow founts drunkard escape artists cant blame the man who has it all in a bottle of scotch and a smoke and a laugh and vomit on his breath third job this week sleeps in the same shorts he pees and he has everything more than the sick housewife stepping out what were your chances of making a clean escape? ill be right outside when you realize your feet are bleeding after only 5 miles and ill take you to your destination you can never float that far i know your throws i know the trials your mother put you through i felt them vicariously through you i felt every whip and wept every tear and yet you run from me to save me from you and you know not what you do is worse than what youd put me through you are the rhythm and my heart plays along dont stray to far away cause it loses time and starts to fade so take your trip to heal but come back to me really December 4, 2009 at 12:15 pm blessed be the oh, shit its all falling down around me piles of repression i cant run fast enough to escape this in an instant if someone came up to me with a sign this dotted line agreement to give back everything to reset and redefine my entire life no stability but nothing weighing me down oh blasted where's my pen take my bank accounts my car my clothes and let me start again. eh December 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm soul mates defined he creates in pairs, the divine a troublesome affair there's someone with whom my life will mesh so far all've been amiss and seeking and trying and pushing, making exceptions, but settling is just impending dissension (ive tired of disillusion i dont want your best foot forward pampered preened pristine perfumed with all of the right words) so its not giving up because you know its there this is not despair this is a devoted plan to meeting her because im withering away and how much lonely can one person take? i saw her once, that girl in my dreams as she counted my change and i choked and now ill never know never again. today and from now on it's 'hello' its, 'this may sound awkward but i need to know your name i need to see how you react to my interest yes, i probably am insane ive a screw loose, a piece missing and i need to know if its you can you feel it? lets search for the signs together control ebbs whilst passion flows thinking not of control vocabulary shrinks: doubt lexicon grows: eternity' everybody you see is a possibility but how will you know? why should you wait until fate plays its hand? stack the cards in your favor watch casually a few interactions see if you can manage a quick glance and if thats not enough if you have to look back thats plenty, give it a chance Anthony Flammiacreepy right? December 1, 2009 at 10:15 pm slow coming December 1, 2009 at 12:22 am anything said? everything said. ever breathe? take any breath you might as well one time is often too many but never enough and that's never ok but what of it? we answer the alarm's call every morning i hate that i answer the alarm every morning every fucking morning i hate that crippling fear of the unknown that keeps me 'sane' (fuck human convention inescapable lexicon that defines fuck, fucking hell it's helpless i know that no one chose this no one built this life and i understand why most people want to believe that and i dont blame them or really care in fact, i almost envy them for having managed to escape but that leaves me with all of my rationalized confusion its not even really confusion im fairly certain ive got it pegged and it sounds cliche but nothing fucking matters and im just going through the motions being 'normal' because its easier and if im going to be around for another 60 years id much enjoy human interaction so i suppose ill play the game to maintain that possibility the only time i dont think about it is while under the guile of love i think love is one of the few human emotions that is grounded by uncontrollable, unalterable facets of our being and thats what makes it so real and that makes it worth it) how do i manage to live Caitlin McCormickthe real question is how do u take the fun out of diamonds??? like really though. December 1, 2009 at 4:27 pm live by my code November 29, 2009 at 5:39 am life is futile we draw breath conjure empty thought and die so each day becomes how shall we spend this time? we are plagued with this knowledge many choose to ignore it or can't grasp the thought or don't believe it and try to define life's value or seek instruction by way of gods I'm certainly not suggesting that an early death is the best option simply stating that no matter how one chooses to spend his days he is justified and therefor any fleeting desire is worth exploiting four four the price of one November 18, 2009 at 11:07 pm i'm not another fool consumed by dark and misery embraced it swallowed wholly and got back there's something in a harmony of thoughts that motivates the chase i pursue deep until death of the spin and start the hunt again (we all love the spin it's that one particle of fragrance that crooked glance from across the way the click of heals and a head turned consciousness fades your wife's grip loosens sensing lust but if she knew you just pictured eternity...) [icanthonouryourtrust] all we have are emotions and into them no say a feeling controlled is a feeling faked and guilt will stain your face (fold) the beast waits with the ice in a glass scheming to numb on a couch that stretches past where you sat b-rate actors reassure me about love and there's no reason to feel alone i drive a little too fast on wet roads and bald tires because, who cares? when the wheels squeal and the back end comes around and i cut quick to save the ship oh the frisson exhumes me i scan about hoping for an audience [seehowluckyheis?] "still got my life", i acquiesce the rubber laid by locked up brakes shows how far i'd gone how close i came and where i'm heading... [iftheyonlyknew] but i dont know, i still long November 11, 2009 at 10:48 pm forgo it all, my love and dont you cry, dear drink a little whiskey from my cup love me like you never knew he existed or ima have to give this up and i know times past and days dragged on and moves were made and feelings longed and tired drawn to others arms its too late now to leave forgone the things ive said and whats been done its not worth it November 5, 2009 at 5:05 pm show me the girl with the flat stomach a face you cant help but kiss big chest that doesnt give a shit and ill show you eager to please doesnt impress on purpose doesnt dress unless headed out what do you know about living? what do you know about weeks apart that dont break hearts? life plans that dont conflict shared passion what do you know about not finishing lets talk about flawless its that time in your life when you cant remember regret lets talk about regret regret is wasted time or energy not worth it time is invaluable energy is expendable at any point in time wasting either is unforgivable wasting someone else's time is inforgiveable dont get caught up in what if, or soon enough take a drink when offered smoke a bowl if it gets too heavy your job is irrelevant money is no object a happy tent trumps a miserable home sometimes it seems like things would be better if everyone just swam down stream im that guy pushing people down empty tributaries that guy drowning whales dont get too big dont take it too seriously dont own too much stuff dont maintain too many friends dont associate with douche bags they have tricks they lure you in with their guise you assimilate with their style use their lingo and at the end of the day you roll to sleep knowing you hate yourself but loyalty is strong and the norm becomes routine and its hard to escape cliques like black holes escape the event horizon is worth the hike and you can be by yourself or with another who knows whats real and its worth the wait and the possibility that it doesnt exist you can run until you dont care and give in that only works for so long. Doug Huckerhit it and quit it. November 6, 2009 at 11:42 am Ryan Adam-Thesis Berndtdont maintain too many friends dont associate with douche bags they have tricks they lure you in with their guise you assimilate with their style use their lingo and at the end of the day you roll to sleep knowing you hate yourself PHENOM. November 8, 2009 at 10:12 pm they expect a finish November 3, 2009 at 8:37 pm it's back pen to paper reserved for the insane escape before you assimilate before it's too late i don't feel remorse i wasn't taught how and in this nurture world i'll continue to discover my faults a product of reckless abandonment but really it's just an excuse that i really shouldn't need to use enough's enough and if that's not enough well, that's why... so many people seek reason explanation they expect a [The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.] ohk November 1, 2009 at 9:34 pm we like to build anticipation word by word jenga style to knock it down 'cause lets face it disappointment is what makes the world go 'round and its not to say that my expectations were too high or that id just put up with anything cause you knew i would but i wont and i dont know what changed and i still find myself taking the blame id beg for mercy but i know that im the one that changed its like the sky opened and god removed something from me Read all about it. October 19, 2009 at 9:46 pm let it be known read this and abandon my thoughts as quickly as you comprehend them for one we intake those as they come for two, we take the one whom is the easiest (effort free the way to be) for the world... we take the difficult and amend the means with fodder (you're the same as the others...) can i find a blend? can i find the world in one? can i not look at others nope! i look at others i desire and occasionally succumb and i keep it to myself and feel no guilt it was not but a conversation at a wawa checkout that was nothing but fantasy but i felt the guilt and i live with it while you court costumers while you lean into men, while faithful but chase the thrill chase it please taste it please and come back to me cause ill come back to you and ill keep loving you and i dont feel guilt for falling deeply for needing completely i dont know how to feel guilt and nor should you shorty September 29, 2009 at 11:01 pm stop that statuesque youre unbreakable vodka mango peach orange juice screwed up driver take my keys please September 29, 2009 at 10:33 pm remember day one? i was trying to be cold trying to slow this roll trying not to show it in my voice im the kind of whore that works into your life that wins your folks dominates your time dangle you on a string one by one ill pluck from you hopes and dreams until youre mine week one? ive got you where i want you down upon your knees mistaken for affection choke on my erection yeah, sure, i love you too ignore my misdirection hold tight my hand walking through the mall the girls that turn my head id rather fuck them all eternity is not for me youre just a passing phase a place holder in time i need a warm bed a place to rest my head while i regain posture to play the field again week three youre begging me to be the man i promised and you double your efforts and i dont have to play disinterest im not even trying to hide the girl with the tits who's blowing up my phone while im fishing for excuses to spend the night "alone" month one equals splitsville but i know you hold your phone waiting for the call that brings me to your home makeup sex so tedious the games hard and i need a rest so its comfort time with old faithful till the pierced girl at wawa offers me a date and its out the door to spread my seed again and you still cant blame me cause im just a man none of this is true but i try to live adventurous domesticated bliss counting heart beats till we dont exist relived youth smashing strangers bare backed high on dope i hate needing stability. Unknownawesome September 30, 2009 at 7:51 am want to scream it from the summit and tell all passers by aka the opposite of emo September 26, 2009 at 1:00 am will you tire of me? does it feel as if your settling? do i offer you that sugar rush that fluttering heart? that buzz between the sheets are we too young to love for good? do you like the way your hand fits in mine? your life fits in mine? my morning breath and bad habits? my flawed sense of style my loath of the divine spelling errers and misconceptions coupled with arrogance and misdirection while i restack the cards and make you guess again and i know you know i know its all for fun the games we're playing my tendency to lie... but i gag up the truth i'm wholly devoted to you try on that line left hand ring finger circlet of intention does it fit in your mind four years down the road will you bear my child? will you live in broken prose wicked drumming to the same old tunes harmonizing constantly to keep it new can that be me and you? will you stretch my mind resist change while safely grazing a hard thing to do but dear my love knows life and though they dont often get along forever is for long, long time so let your mind wander back to me and should it not so it be, it wasnt meant but for now of those thoughts we rest absent and strung out on each kiss should eyes meet hands graze proximity mix you know what i'll do your neck your cheek forehead and lips reassure my love for you its been too long making and if i look away when you look me in the eye dont fret im not used to this yet the snapping branch the dream come true the love i found years ago has shown itself to you? i cant get away with saying it here but, you know that I... Anthony Flammiathat's 'cause it's about you September 26, 2009 at 8:29 pm DPS September 17, 2009 at 3:13 am Truth like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold. You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it'll just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream. The Ant September 13, 2009 at 3:26 pm We kissed goodbye and from below I heard the cries of a little black fellow he said, 'she loves you, man' how do you know my six legged friend? 'she was up on her tippiest toes to meet your kiss that hit her cheek and sighed a bit at its remiss held your hand while you walked away and i watch this happen every day so kiss her right and shes sure to stay if you return the love she'll be yours, someday' ----- Tea is the primary source of nutrition for the teddy bears and imaginary friends of lonely 5-year-old girls. - some article i read awe September 12, 2009 at 12:58 pm this is not the type of thing that you can sort you just ride it like the tide and eventually you will tire should you paddle to the beach or be carried by the one maybe that's the moment you'll realize you're in love just look around for constants and tell me what you see hiding in plain sight for your sore eyes to finally decide [rhyme omitted for being too poignant] i can't promise you that with each day I'll floor you with fancy cakes flowers and moonlit dates some weeks might be trouble and others might be bliss but at night it should be enough to know that we exists with the gentlest of kiss as not to break your sleep that maybe in your dream you feel me on your cheek that faceless prince charming that man your dreamscape paints across the rolling horsebacked hills should now he have my face Caitlin McCormickthis is so sweet ant! November 19, 2009 at 2:54 pm its gonna take a bit September 8, 2009 at 6:43 pm what do you say we learn how to meld into one cast in a couch learning our groove arm completely numb but to cool to move its the least i could do save the risk of disturbing you its sweet that you try to last through the show with your eyes hanging on ohp there you go asleep in my arms and off to bed i tuck you in and climb in back with a kiss on your cheek catching that grin "you know what im thinking?" i know what your thinking well played my love now clenching the sheets and muffled your sound the roommates are pretending to sleep but their jealousy wrestles and footsteps go wandering for warm milk and cigarettes we've yet to calm down but early to rise and days surely long exhausted in comfort quickly we're gone to awake clutching warmth as the windows a draft but ill be ok as long as we last. ==== what can i make of you without making it up? ---- born of the weight of stars you and i and walked the sloshing beach instinct remnants of god should we forgo reproduction and use the earth for all its worth drink from gourds till drunk and die terse - adj : brief and to the point; effectively cut short; September 8, 2009 at 2:51 am a wise sage once said dont bother and should i follow and never know of the tamed beast shall she haunt my dreams? or memories... the more i try the more i see September 8, 2009 at 2:27 am i dont want to impress you that kind of love's not true the more you makes amends and heeds your ways the less youre you a hard to maintain ruse so let it be this happy wandering touch and planted eyes that never flinch when hands meet thighs and let it known our lives misalign and yet we forge forward but free of lies and should it fade down the line should our paths break at such a time that fate cant play and maintain rhyme that what we had now gone not mourned this chapter new unforeseen this is where we've been heading its happy days for happy days thats just how it goes September 8, 2009 at 12:27 am thats just how it goes this grows of all things this just grows to what i dare say no one knows and such are life's throws for some that shows as woe for me? oh hell no for me im that arabian knight on a merry-go 'round styrofoam sword slaying big nosed jew thieves times up? no tears im a parasailer dips up dips down ice cream coned bombers stomach flipping lets call call it a day and nustle up cozy car ride home this always settles and thats all i know... mn September 7, 2009 at 4:44 pm why are we creatures of why im ashamed of speaking my mind before letting you speak yours and ashamed of suggesting a way to spend your time embarrassed to think i might change your life without letting you change mine but the truth of the matter is im still looking for someone who cares im looking for someone who thinks and i havent met her yet not about herself not about me not about the pulse in our lips the unknown depths of each others eyes that dribble that force fed life i need she who isnt concerned who lets it happen who is it lets take a second and assume we only live within our own frame of reference such that reality is what we create of the senses we collect such that ill never find love such that my mind created love constantly fingerlength away from realization we both know thats not the case lets continue this chase i much enjoy it at the end of the day may never September 6, 2009 at 9:13 pm why cant you see the ways i love you? it hasnt occurred to you yet that i wake up every day and wonder, how long should i wait to call how long should i wait to reach out and touch you to brush against your arm hold you hand how long must i wait to kiss your neck to make you laugh to see you smile i work for paupers wages the your so good to me hun thank you, thank you now see ya later ive a date with him the bane of your day that haunts your thoughts and dreams and plans that he may be your man and he may never be me oh gitle September 6, 2009 at 9:03 pm is this a matter of bull vs matador? do i wind you up and deprive you of the thrill of the kill is this an awkward dance where we'll practice and practice but never show our skills at the reception you're just preparing for him biding your time and trust me thats alright cause im just biding mine is this a knife thrower and his partner his scantily clad target eying the guy in the front row you know id never miss but oh ive come close i just cant commit is this child and toy that yo-yo you throw you know will come back until that phase does pass and im not needed to take up the slack fascist rule and peasant bread he tears in half thrown to pets as they starve and while kissing his feet for meager pats on the head come back later ive got a surprise for you but you never do predictable you. nvm September 4, 2009 at 11:28 pm what of wanderlust of your flesh the crook of your knee gets a chill this bed a canvas it speaks of fights when a rift runs between us catches tears hosts wrestling matches and witnesses conception from reckless affection leads to another part of our life B4 NV, B U September 4, 2009 at 3:48 pm i bet you were wondering you thought, maybe... lets see and what you saw wasnt good enough parlez vous reality? oh ok not at such a young age i guess i agree i see -------------------- are these oysters french? id like to think that oysters transcend nationality -------------------- back to talking to myself and eating graham crackers with each crack crackers crumble crumbles between the keys but one needs to eat -------------------- my eyes are healing but lately, even before the surgery things have been very plain to see there exists mutual need but we need not disturb the peace and call your bluff your foul decree of yet the men and world to see ===================== overhead but dont look up the gods yearn to poke the eyes of tiny unbelievers who kick the dirt and rue their lives ----------------------------- size 12 usually black and battered size 32 w 34 l faded and torn medium cracked letters and thin almost always almost shaven above my chin no smile there in either eye an empty stare rarely carefully styled hair arms crossed chest head nodding slightly off the beat left flat right crossed behind toe snagged heel shoulder leant up and fuck im disinterested your father is boring the tv is disgusting im growing ornery and picking fights and i dont know why (things would probably start picking up if i just let them be) soitgoes August 31, 2009 at 3:21 pm and so it goes often uninspired trodding plodding languid nodding dull lackluster and void of gustier but on it goes apathetic fresh bloomed roses oh just plants raw emotions no one cares singing songs a waste of breath philosophers the blow hard dead soitgoes sobeit absent of expectation life begins not wondering what 'morrow brings happy enough to live today and with whatever should come my way nothing changes August 17, 2009 at 2:43 am lets go back to the way it used to be over tangled ocean dwelling webs of communication disheveledly elegantly carried our aspirations oh how free a dream so grab with both hands and bend with full force to make ends meet because in the wasteland of fantasy it works and feels right remember when you said 'it took seeing those others guys to see whats yet been before my eyes' remember those lies? no grudge held, child you could choose to love like a kid (please do) but you choose the weight of the world sooner than you need to and sooner than you should remember trembling in a parking lot? i wont ask you to explain ill just assume your heads as fucked as it seems and if thats ok just nod please save your pride and dont act like you play things right you lay it out in black and white my ass, nice try though i'll hang on i dont know why i guess its good enough at night goodbye wondering if someday something snaps and she asks to stay the night until then not broken hearted its the game we play its the balance of eros feathered shaft tickled nape exacting tip spun coyly between pursed lips red as rouge the blood that drips -the rose's thorns -the tidal rip -snow leopard's lunge -an acid trip its you and me and whoever else may be at the time and for now thats alright until its not but which one will be the first to move on? or is that battle already won. later but ill forget August 17, 2009 at 2:36 am who's your perfect girl? is she rich? she can by herself tits if you want them do you want them? or just a smooth talker who can hook up a back rub whisper nothings in your ear and show you how to make love or a one upper of philosophical proportions who has a firm stance on death and abortion that knows god and reveals him as a fake who's at peace with life and knows its what you make it and is ok with not saying nothing for long drives to nowhere on afternoon vacations who's hand fits yours and can find it in a dark room there's no need to talk about it cause you felt it from the start and every days more convincing that your ways will never part its 230am and i wanna finish but i cant sappy bs anyway Amanda Taylorwho is your perfect man? is he hard and gelled to perfection oh dearest, oh darling, look but don't touch! is he chiseled and well-defined? stiff bodied and pliable in the mind? or is that ass just a wad of cash and quick fucks with the lights off. or is he silent and still while you rant and rave. and have you lost track of the times he forgot and forgave. in bed with a blue light electronic glow and ignoring high gas prices with no where to go. just a blue jeans boy for a time travelling girl who respects her first love has always been the world. No one should be awake this early (this late?). August 17, 2009 at 3:10 am Anthony Flammiawow, you did it so much better, I'm glad you got where i was going August 17, 2009 at 12:05 pm ugh August 11, 2009 at 10:28 am the truth is you should hate me because im shallow and immature but someday ill work up the courage to ask your forgiveness and try to make up the ground we've lost but i dont you'd let me got me flat fooded August 8, 2009 at 4:23 am heed this and mind my words i wont hold on to my thoughts i know this will mean the end but i should have been real and not tried to build something that never should have been you are who i make fun of you are who i loathe you are a product of insecurity that manifests itself falsely as whim, fancy, and world you cant carry the facade it wears like makeup applied by a 4 year old put your mother's lipstick down and grow up that might sell in a coffee shop or bar in an email or text a chat with a cashier someone as desperate as you might even take it home for a while you better hope someone so disconnected so lofty and cloud wrought swoops in and embraces your brand of fake im gagging youre prickly in my throat and though im glad to be puking you up im ashamed i enjoyed choking you down im glad to have grown out of that phase holy shit what was i thinking? we don't really want the change we ask for August 4, 2009 at 11:36 pm fuck pray to god that's wasted energy a strained relation let's just prioritize by maintaining residency in a wealthy country with an itchy trigger finger a self righteous nation at least we aren't dieing at least we don't struggle at least we pretend to have a say truth be told we've built a system designed to keep the wool pulled and it's not so bad unless you think about it qwerty August 4, 2009 at 8:25 pm I'm contented breath in breath out that's all but life's relentless statues sitting make your move i've made mine and looked a fool so statue sitting i will stay and colder grow every day that's not to say... no, sorry, it definitely is but your not listening anyway you choose for yourself August 2, 2009 at 2:35 pm the reality of the matter is that at best the only thing that matters is self recognizing full well that socialization colours selfish negative i'll advise you most hardship is self wrought torrid tale: a universal human vice "oh, did you hear the news?" and you twinge, freebase that shit wafting... your weakness ills me onward --> be not what you think you should be but what you are and if you are a cog if you follow the leader sobeit, i've warned but we need fodder so, sobeit... there's us there's them and no gate keeper saturday afternoons feet on the fence sun brewed tea watching them flop there's no gate keeper you choose for yourself i'm learning to save energy and so, sobeit. h.p. lovecraft August 2, 2009 at 2:09 pm All these things are, in their superior forms, simply by-products of excess intellectuality – which I haven’t the honour to possess. In their inferior forms they are of course simply avenues of escape for persons with too poorly proportioned and correlated a perspective to distinguish betwixt the frivolous and the relevant. I feel quite justified in believing that games and sports ought not be ranked among the major phenomena of life. yarley August 2, 2009 at 12:46 pm when i go the void will fill with a wake and branches will scatter my tracks and the wind will watch my back i dont worry much, though i easily settle easily pass worry easily mend dont start writing when your tired July 27, 2009 at 12:58 am check check check check check the box fill in the blanks read my answers with anticipation red ink ready to be unleashed but... could it be? could this match makers job be complete? a perfect score, see? we're foreigners that dream the dream thats it, holy shit ive finally got it im comatosed you dont exist and you know im an ass man that explains the hips and you know im pathetic which explains the rifts in the story im telling who puts lose a turn on his own wheel? who knows add shit divert too tired to make this work really not about anything July 26, 2009 at 12:55 am lets go back to the way it used to be over tangled ocean dwelling webs of communication disheveledly elegantly carried our aspirations oh how free a dream so grab with both hands and bend with full force to make ends meet because in the wasteland of fantasy it works and feels right remember when you said 'it took seeing those others guys to see whats yet been before my eyes' remember those lies? no grudge held, child you could choose to love like a kid (please do) but you choose the weight of the world sooner than you need to and sooner than you should remember trembling in a parking lot? i wont ask you to explain ill just assume your heads as fucked as it seems and if thats ok just nod please save your pride and dont act like you play things right you lay it out in black and white my ass, nice try though i'll hang on i dont know why i guess its good enough at night goodbye wondering if someday something snaps and she asks to stay the night until then not broken hearted its the game we play its the balance of eros feathered shaft tickled nape exacting tip spun coyly between pursed lips red as rouge the blood that drips -the rose's thorns -the tidal rip -snow leopard's lunge -an acid trip its you and me and whoever else may be at the time and for now thats alright until its not but which one will be the first to move on? or is that battle already won. freds July 9, 2009 at 12:35 am everythings worth nothing but nothing is alright ill take nothing for most of the rest of my days sometimes it takes a gala event to remind you how much youd rather not participate in shit shows kids birthday parties highschool dances lets play beerpong... fucking mothers day jesus christ day listening to a lecture fuck all here's an idea ill try to paint its high tide so our feet are getting wet and the crabs keep coming up to investigate the moon but they wont bite your toes that have better things to do we're almost finished with that handle that we bought and ive been playing with your hair but now its tangled into knots around my fingers and thanks to tonight i feel hella less alone and now all i have to do is decide when to phone cause the morning after is too early and a week too nonchalant maybe you can help me out and tell me what you want blast it all to hell i still dont know why i do this to a dear friend July 5, 2009 at 7:16 pm im sorry it may be me but i think its you its tiresome watching you try so hard im sorry that i cant hold on i cant stand by and watch constant self destruction selfish desire clouding what i hope what i believe what ive known is the real you for now utterly unsatisfied its painful to watch call them dreams goals ideals call them what you want ill call them escape routes am i seeing a pattern here? one that you desperately need to break? one that has your mind on foreign shores in distanced relationships completely devoid of reasonable possibility but we can plan we can hope we can dream we can stay detached from today from offers of everything what is a leap of faith? its worth the pain of a failed attempt its worth the gain of times had or maybe im wrong as is often the case and im unreasonable im easily mislead and offendable my heart is entirely to willing to test drive love because my brains got its back and should i fall too hard too fast it reels me back and if i hit ground and my love bursts my brains got me up on my feet ready again in minutes what is love chemical reaction? hormone driven interaction? a hobby akin to juggling calligraphy, bike riding? philanthropy? could feeding starving children fill the void? could heroin warm my heart? or is love bigger than that is love a reason to live i havent yet found another and maybe thats where we differ where our paths deviate our achilles heal corner stone lifeline im pretty sure it has nothing to do with love though funny to admit we're not good for each other and we've used distance to hide it but i want to prove me wrong cause for so long its felt so right and i dream of you almost everynight and i still compare all the woman i meet from their ever changing hair to the shape of their feet' why cant it be you can be you and i can be me and that just works im disappointed and i hope i aint got my hopes up for no reason thats not what i believe tell me how its gonna be? last flowers - radiohead July 2, 2009 at 6:06 pm Appliances have gone berserk I can't keep up Treading on people's toes Snot-nosed little punk And I can't face the evening straight And you can offer me escape Houses move and houses speak If you take me there you'll get relief relief, relief, relief, relief... And if I'm gonna talk?? I just wanna talk Please don't interrupt Just sit back and listen Cause I can't face the evening straight And you can offer me escape Houses move and houses speak If you take me there you'll get relief relief, relief, relief, relief... It's too much Too bright Too powerful Too much Too bright Too powerful Too much Too bright Too powerful Too much ive got alot to say today but no one to say it to, apparently June 29, 2009 at 2:09 am and thats ok shes probably watching infomercials eating left overs out of the styrofoam and ill never meet her ill never come home from a long day and refind her ticklish spots while wandering her thighs (forgive references, youve spun me right round) you manage cut throat sexy always showin them off trying to make me lose my cool break my stride i have a plan and i have a strange idea that you might rework my schedule a few times i might let you if you let me can we say one thing and do another? will you think less of me if i exhibited a total lack of control or would you take the compliment allow me to correct myself yes sex is sex and attraction just chemical reaction but i rechecked my rubric and lust made the list its pages long and we're flipping through them slowly and youve got checks and youve got x's (man do you have x's) but i wrote them in pencil and you always have a chance to redeem yourself ill be your jesus i can forgive and i can love but you cant? [bulkshit you ate the apple too soon and still bare the shame? defenses stripped away and you built them back as calloused as could be dont reduce it to sexuality but dont hold back we can head somewhere even if we dont know where we're going just guess a direction and lets set sail and stop at random ports and try new things and retry old things test waters that once burned may have now cooled off i can offer you everything ive got ive given myself permission not to fear not getting it back money thrown in a jongleurs hat worth the tricks worth the grins let them applaud us im not talking about rice thrown or veils lifted im talking a parking lot kiss when i walk away mad and you grab my wrist i know its ok i know we are ok /]myriads of desire juggling thirst all she said was debit or credit and i pictured my first grandsons birth/] they keep saying take me here take me right now but i want a woman i want someone to say take me take me until theres nothing left i want hands everywhere and heavy breathing listening for our boarding call its a wild train but worth the ride no destination in mind lets keep going till we figure it out i want her hands in my hair dripping sweat kissing tulips deep tracing her figure with my hands while drawing her near with my mouth heals digging into my back egyptian cotton torn from posturpedic until a lack of control and a few short breaths pull me inside im nervous i keep getting nervous remind me, please June 28, 2009 at 3:48 am to write about falling while not wanting to but slowly warming to the idea a spin and dip (the lettuce crisp?) thats worth a peck pecks seem to grow am i as contagious to you as you are to me? tell me am i your best kiss? or will you always refer back to his will my hands on your back on your shoulders firm around your throat pressing your hips on mine will they never feel like his? dont settle for less thats no way to live but give it a try you might find its not less or you may find a waste of time im not afraid of a broken heart thats no way to live ill kiss you deep and watch you sleep share our days plan some kids if youd like to but should it end should doubt seep in should realization form that loves no more fret not feel no remorse was it fun for the day? the week? did we have a good year? was it worth one kiss? you were cute on your knees blowing my mind if you read anything read: pass up not declare to me an attempt and give it your all and to hell with the fall but yeah, remind me to write if im allowed... moving June 28, 2009 at 3:35 am id like to take a sledged hammer to the pedestal youve put you on i put you on we put you on its a long way down that nose of yours paint splattered facade got your eyes first and its all down hill from here youll say, not me fueling the fire smoldering mess no one wants to touch beautiful from afar, honestly intriguing on paper you try so fucking hard to fill the mold of what you want to be lie enough and youll believe it your delusion builds a harbor that no one wants to visit keep lashing out keep clicking your tongue keep it up one bye one self destruction happily misery all alone i hope or a life long longing thumbing that rope its sunny over the gnoll or so you think theres a twang to his voice hes as dreamy as you he ungrounded idealistic ready to buy in chase controversy with pseudoeducation enough facts to wow in passing but boil you down and find not and watch you disagree how do you put up with us? how can you even stomach our differences how can you reach out and touch our filth let it fill your emptiness in desperation i feel ill thinking i fit that bill you know nothing of respect nothing of humble nothing of collaboration cooperation fuck thou art my June 23, 2009 at 9:06 am jittery sculptor twitching image oh intent amiss but still famous top right slapshot trip stick poke five hole good enough (the crowd goes wild) or just pretends based off of nurtured slowly pop music thwarting the progression of the human race its not a parade by yourself one man float looks like a car waffle house costume you're going to work... ive seen it before ignore June 21, 2009 at 12:26 pm lets talk force feed back i move, you move (not like that) you, please press your cheek into my hand make me feel like im your man I'm open ears careful eyes but pushed away then drawn me in im holding on despite the spin whats it gonna take to get these hearts start beating again beating at all is there no pull is this prostitute loving obsession meets profession well whats my offering? desperate companion? ive no idea observation made from a person with no desire to refer to the facts of the matter im mad as a hatter dreamt like an opiate dreamscape life lived on my side chasing dragons and twilight and, apparently, strife chai how are you June 20, 2009 at 8:57 am oh lonely rolling stone going through life always on your way home that you havent always searching for arms that you havent nee and blind want yearning for sight for a breath of fresh air for the first taste of life but it hasnt and it wont if you dont reach out and grab it or move on without it it takes a step in either direction but flat footed blind side escape dumbfounded suspension waiting on others to excite your life soon youll be jumping at the will of a wife for whom youve no love but its better than nothing right? youve got to be joking selfish and inside its always her tide her life her kids her hips, ever wide gucci purse lexus coupe how 'bout a long kiss and dinner for two i made it for you i thought you would like it i cared about you and not with numbers not calculation on paper, i did nothing beyond cant you find the twinkle in my eye? the charm of my simple sauce? rest assured i love you with no dollar amount attached with no preconceptions with no requests other than a dance with your brain and my hand on your hip while we walk to the grave cant you be satisfied with ill treat you well if not ohwell lets let it be [abrupt stop, inquire within] what are [aka rolling along] June 13, 2009 at 9:26 pm sweaty hands macaronic desires tree scattered sunsets mp3s on shuffle leading down's syndrome slow danced swaying sighs of relief still pensive but about that goodbye and yet's hello never been more satisfied with not knowing i'd like to think im learning to read but ive got my suspicions that you are the lead Nick Stefanskiyou home yet? June 14, 2009 at 2:18 am I'm not sure any of this is worth your time. June 4, 2009 at 12:28 am let's take a walk keep up you wont like my wake silent like a roar still, an earthquake my back pocket houses a creature making eyes making faces writing names in little books of people we've yet to slay she climbs my shirt and scratches my neck with its tag highlights the ugly and in grace, i trip at her cane swiping at my feet making for awkward glances instead of chance meetings whispers sweet nothing in my ear 'we're better off without them' yeah, we're better off without you but true love fades like ink pressed deep in skin a constant reminder of the one i'll never see (again) thousand mile stares chasing nicotine and bliss it's life on my own planet im only the things that are inside of me im alive when i forget when i dance to music in my head to rhythmic passing cars chasing ghosts through busy streets honking horns fail to pierce im nothing that's outside of me selfish wandering wondering why i need another in this life i need another on my rock paint on brick notes in air juggling balls cast in the air nothing next to skin and hair next to eyes and warmth next to you trust me you need me you get me not selfish, schools are fish incapable of thought wolves are packs lionspride spiders not but cry and wait rot a life so sedate weaving webs to pass the time their only joy is taking life maybe i could make a life and not an empty spread of seed not a passing this disease not an act of nature hormones, chemical reaction cant fight the pull no, maybe i can show my child the screaming breeze the winds are wild tearing through the swaying trees dancing in the harmony of chaotic construction maybe he doesnt cry and never has a reason why life on the light side i dont smile i dont mind i dont wave when i walk by no bless yous for ah-choos no tears for starving kids apathy for baptists no salutes for flags or moments of silence show me an afterlife show me hell ill fill it with the tears i skipped it wont take long but you clutch the bars behind those pearly gates surrounded by reminders of what you hate those starving kids for whom you prayed oh the energy you could have saved prolonging their wait for the resting place and scorning us with lives to live he made me free of empathy he made us free and with that you judge me? untitled June 1, 2009 at 5:54 pm (i wrote this when i was 14 or so and havent forgotten it yet, so i figured id write it down.) when it rains outside huddle wet and cold you'll find me trying to figure out why the world's so sad broken compass and worn out maps staggering through a forest of others sorrow and lament find it hard not to turn this pain into mine and it spells the end of the line for me see, my hearts too heavy to let this be to let this be goodnight one last plea, ill leave it be June 1, 2009 at 3:14 pm my love is like a thousand popsicles fucking delicious and when they melt, i'm sturdy sticks to build projects like a white picket fence and two point five kids and movie style endings full figured day dreams that scream: fuck your doubts It's ME! it's 8 years a few broken hearts a few rough spots but its still me and you still cant see are you so afraid? whats another broken heart for another lesson learned another road traveled that's worth another scar earned or, maybe, everything... but you'll mutlitask and stay distracted work on your armor I can only wait so much and you might be a gift from god but we're all replaceable though it wont be the same its just, when im old and grey i dont want to rue your name and not know if it could have been you next to me until that final sleep whats the distance? whats this time that you speak are we really that weak? cant we act on a whim throw caution into the wind and should we fall at least it was real unimpeded emotion tread lightly, id rather not but if thats your heart saying not right now ill be ok but if your brain somehow has claim on your heart please tell it to piss off (empty) May 31, 2009 at 12:13 am (almost) throwing out some note cards May 29, 2009 at 4:55 am ive got it sorted, finally ive found out wh(y)at you(re) mean to me i can taste it on your lips youre my girl whether youre ready or not its still coming up, so lets get back to the fact that we're falling in love hanging on the outside of your universe wondering what each new day will bring wondering if she'll ever hear this song i sing about her hair and her skin and the way she fucks me over about despair and giving in and wondering when this will be over :re May 24, 2009 at 10:44 pm help me to write something beautiful at the end of this note fuck your doubts and reservations they don't mean shit this space doesn't exist you're too afraid of being hit? of realizing this isn't what you think it is? hear this: a days bliss is worth having taken a piss bored enough May 18, 2009 at 6:45 am theres a crazy man on stage he made my day by making his in crazy ways I'm not sure he knows we exist although, im sure he doesnt care. hear the preacher man on a stage with his guitar in hand singing about god in as convoluted a way as he can? the sun is on the trees the fire in the sky that brings the life too singes life arid wasteland tumbling weeds a tear in earths disguise dont squeeze your children too hard you only need a little light to keep it green so share the sky with your sleepy friend cause you too need some time to dream spaces May 13, 2009 at 1:20 am What good is consciousness wholly doubted Miserably defined by a few sorted lies You can’t mean ‘I love you’ from shrouded eyes With a crooked smile while drooling from the corners of your mouth The devils clay clutched firmly in your paws A maddened bitch consumed by the world Withdrawal spiked veins and try again in vain but no matter how persistently you speak my name It will never be yours again In your delusion rocking in the corner The music in your head your only friend Until you get the lyrics sorted And hear my plaintiff melody relentless in your ears You brought this on yourself oh how I wish I died the day I realised The wife I had is now someone else Egress this cave and run till bleeding feet Fighting the spin of the earth To keep the sun upon my cheeks Who will be there when I collapse upon the beach? Admit defeat to the crashing sea And wallow against its waves Shaking me to life with salt burnt wounds And spit me out Its violent roar swallows my shouts And in disdain for life Ill crawl back into where life began And float the waters vast My corpse a raft for passing birds But maybe you’re my Aphrodite? On the crest of a foaming wave Bringing beauty into my sodden life And maybe you’ll rescue me From this wasteland that is all I see. 1. ive got all of my eggs in your basket May 10, 2009 at 1:51 am dont tell me you love me dont make me wonder or hold back dont mesh our hands or scratch my neck dont kiss my cheek, coddle, console, or caress dont apologize rue repent or feel remorse dont worry about me or react to tears dont pretend now that you didnt know what you were doing then there's no excuse and I won't forgive you save confusion, I've been honest to a tee, thats just me ive shown you everything there is to see ive been an open book for you to read ive held you up and defended your name and ive promised to do so for the rest of days frankly, i dont have faith in much else (1.) I'm worried because I'm not worried.+ May 4, 2009 at 4:22 am are these my peers running in circles chasing premanufactured dreams? what do you want to be when you grow up, anthony? happy... to fuck with all else. and they washed my mouth with soap lowly May 2, 2009 at 7:25 am im startled easy shaking all the time doesnt take much to set me off spirals of thoughts out of body cascading down (except when youre around) what shit im autonomous and cold ive got no soul no home no property no songs to sing im all alone not a bad thing not a bad thing at all windstorms too slow you know i know you know its not the weather, too random its forever, if you let it forget it, forget it disruptive destructive i wont let on i cant let on that i cant get on without you ive only got two and id give them both i dont need anything i dont need anything i dont need anything i dont need anything i dont need anything i dont fucking want anything i dont fucking need anything ushdoultstp April 26, 2009 at 1:04 am i love you i love you fumbling through buttons folds of clothes that drape your curves and mask your verve but lights down low and skin exposed the beauty shows the beauty shows its from your lips in whispered verse soft on my ear sweet and terse "i love you dear i dont care why and hope someday to be your wife" to be at ease the banal life is fine with me if she's my wife (talk talk talk talk talk is cheap i love you looking up at me on your knees take take take take take me deep tears of joy from eyes that weep not of pain but joy of living when you take me there its plain to see you love me you love me) I've watched you sleep (cliche? ok) you clutch the sheets what do you dream? you spoon the bed what do you see behind eye shut lids seethrough? see me? watch your nocturnal smile at peace it can all fall down in a day and if it does ill stay and piece that shit back together bitch workonit April 25, 2009 at 1:46 am ticking ticker tape of thoughts that haunt my dreams and never stop incessant ringing let me go i seek the peace ive never known truck stop coffee smoking butts nicotine caffeine conversation its who and when not what and why thats how i want to live my life quick thought drop April 24, 2009 at 5:09 pm bjork and thom yorke I've seen it all, I have seen the trees, I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze I've seen a friend killed by a friend, And lives that were over before they were spent. I've seen what I was - I know what I'll be I've seen it all - there is no more to see! You haven't seen elephants, kings or Peru! I'm happy to say I had better to do What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall! And the man you will marry? The home you will share? To be honest, I really don't care... You've never been to Niagara Falls? I have seen water, its water, that's all... The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State? My pulse was as high on my very first date! Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair? To be honest, I really don't care... I've seen it all, I've seen the dark I've seen the brightness in one little spark. I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need, And that is enough, to want more would be greed. I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be I've seen it all - there is no more to see! You've seen it all and all you have seen You can always review on your own little screen The light and the dark, the big and the small Just keep in mind - you need no more at all You've seen what you were and know what you'll be You've seen it all - there is no more to see! Amanda TaylorI enjoy this song quite a bit. April 24, 2009 at 6:23 pm i live you April 24, 2009 at 4:57 pm someday you will die but i wont mind because on that day ill crawl into your bed and your last breath will also be mine bleh, ntohwahing anhsymoire bur wehwatyyocany youdo? April 24, 2009 at 3:10 pm shawty lets learn some tact where you headed with all that ass hanging out like that the butt dont count if it comes with a gut pasty white double d's help up by bubble wrap plaster painted face try exfoliation and maybe you'd get laid without intoxication meet a dude with a car and a job whose idea of a great date doesnt end at the bar more like dreaming about mars looking up through the stars spying for god who conducted this day with the bounce of his wand remember that first kiss? i leaned in and our hearts forgot to beat for a minute while we explored the chance that a spark might exist when it danced on our lips and i felt you give in to my hand on your hip drawing you in for the taste of your skin was it there for you? did you think... yeah this will do his body is fit (he wont let me fall) his dark hair is lovely he's sufficiently tall there's enough of a brain to support me one day and I'm certain he'll love the children we raise well im here to tell you it was love at first sight with nothing to do with hair color or height something enough to rouse some faith in me the atheist rock of gibralter steadfast as could be you sent me to my knees praying to a god in which i dont believe that he could grant me one wish id trade my soul for the chance theres truth in this dream skip almost all of the words... April 24, 2009 at 3:10 am each word barely but i think you know its cold absent no touch never enough so long test done wrong? start fail worth it i mean hell to wonder? not for long synth pop magic syne wave sleigh rides love me back April 22, 2009 at 1:37 am can i plan out the next five hours down to the awkward kiss starting from getting you fired from that shitty job can i orchestrate a flat tire and wasted tickets? dodging cars holding hands you forgot your purse and standing there with speeding semis between us a halo of flies under a flickering street light provokes the lion in me entranced approach blaring horns cheering me on we kissed in the midst of flashing lights red and blue what's a boy supposed to do? with a girl like you... you're the only one who knows me i don't take that lightly and you shouldn't either a new can be nee in the wake of the old April 19, 2009 at 6:07 pm im getting pretty good at not making any sense its rewarding in a very similar way to doing nothing its getting hard to tell dream from reality and i really dont mind awhirling dervish make their roundabout ways through my vision and i much enjoy the dizzying turns one moment its there and the next its not and i dont think id care if i forgot im in his grace his unending rays light my face and paint the way with blooms of flowers and burning houses in my melty shoes amidst the pyre firetruck rainbows mist on my face fuck for fucks sake whatever this is its ovewhelming and im shaking its inside and wants out it needs a vessel a channel to flow through a wheel to turn something to which it can transfer this spark it needs force feedback a reciprocal tongue equally wandering hands bodies pressed only parting to get at buttons it ignores jealous stares and apprehension it doesnt listen to traffic signals or the man love is all there is and you cant change whom you love or what you love so stop worrying and love without apprehension and dont rue love that fades a new can be nee in the wake of the old but seriously ive no idea what anything ive ever written is about ever ever ever except for most of the time wherefor and why? April 18, 2009 at 4:47 pm can i talk about transporting rainbows in back pockets? waterfall smiles? my hand on your knee long drives deep into conversation circling the block while painting the landscape with dreams of white picket fences and shapes of houses with listening rooms and a pink and blue nursery for twins (yeah im training my sperm to make a set of boy girl twins so i only have to play that game once...) i have no idea but thanks for playing along waters waters when its not killing April 14, 2009 at 5:18 am imagine standing on the reef water splash beneath our feet solid land to our backs and to our fronts no solid mass breath in the salty air jump with me if you dont care confirm the fact our times spent here with the wind against our necks and our love in back pockets crushed by hands not wearing rings cause our loves not bound by paper and our loves not wrapped in gold our loves no sacrifice just the way we live our lives with every fallen leaf our bare feet touch jumping to life clinging to a tree stretch the summer out to shine the nights are long and the stars smile upon our donut eating faces half drunk on the docks wandering hands keep pulses racing changing rooms back seats parents bathroom this is how to live may my scales never dry and my skin cease to soak up sun may i never feel anger towards something you have done may i never feel regret when i oft the orphanage armed with silly putty and a smile everyday is an opportunity to make someone smile who doesnt have a choice cause ive felt the lack of freedom ive felt the separation ive been away from you and although theres compensation it was never worth not having you lets turn the tides around and walk the earth of men and turn them into child let them live again far too serious about matters i abhor i dont feel a human i dont feel a human anymore show me something alien show me something good lay with me tonight like ive always wished you would blah balah April 14, 2009 at 4:59 am from eyes laid upon across the bar through smoke i spied my future wife unbeknownst to me but such is life i cupped her ass and begged a dance drunken mistake she slapped my face but winding down i bummed a ride to my surprise 2 door backseat climb inside who do i find myself beside? my future wife she looked beautiful with vomit in her hair i could make out a hint of lavender she wore over the dank of puke hanging in the air and she had no choice but to forgive my grabby hands as they held her hair above porcelain a night i cant quite remember, but wont soon forget for thenceforth you were my Juliet I'm ready April 12, 2009 at 3:12 am do you know about lines drawn of uncertainty they could spell the difference between a fizzled pop and an explosion either, lets get this started or take it easy, love slow what's that? is that, it builds it ebbs and ebbs and ebbs and turns tidal? or is that waning waning waning to turn black and never come back? we've been a scratched record dj life cant make up his mind wont let us play it out to hear what the end sounds like but his scarce offerings, scraps thrown have fed within me a desire to digest the whole thing to bring you in with no concerns are we ready: have our hearts been sufficiently battered? and our oats been sufficiently sewn? that now in each other should the weather be fair could we have a child could we hold each others feet to this earth? are we ready? im sorry April 5, 2009 at 4:25 am im sorry but ive reverted backwards im a child in a mans(?) body your presence makes me squirm despite tireless desire night after night clutched my pillow tight dreaming of the day id drop that perfect line and kiss you a kiss that knew not time but i am fumble i am place my hand on your cheek i am press me into corner and place my hands on your hips i am forget the world exists i am remind me to breath timid test waters then backflip off speed boats ive written my vows, no shit without you in my life id rather not exist so free me now tonight blood knees pulpit broken branches wind stale never has such a storm surrounded one so frail but biting your lip and checking your flanks i walk away save you the escape 'just cause you feel it doesn't mean its there' shcuks April 5, 2009 at 4:14 am you cant convince me that when my hands are permitted to scan your flesh i wont feel your past i wont reach those spots that had you moan for him there are ghosts in this room I'm not sure i can weather this pain the tears aren't for me when you come fetal rocking yourself to sleep you're not accepting my cradle but weening yourself from a bed empty of him... tired tried April 1, 2009 at 7:05 am for me poetry has been a bit paradoxical for one breath, writing should be a flow an unmolested snapshot of emotion but then i go back and fix spots reword things to fit some preconception ive incurred maybe to appease people whom might read what i wrote the truth is, i doubt anyone reads it i doubt i have an audience beyond myself i should try to appease myself i suppose thats life there is a point though where what you create can affect other people they can enjoy it then i guess it matters what other people think did you ever wonder why we worship idols we have pop stars and athletes? my guess is that certain peoples flavors are appealing to a large group of people maybe they idolize people who do things that they wish they could do or maybe its just entertainment some talent is subjective most is not (maybe?) people like a basketball player because he can put a ball through a hoop thats easy... i should say, its easy to define a good basketball player he excels at some aspect of the game thusly, people like him (those of whom which like basketball i suppose) the poet doesnt have a benchmark for success a poets success is entirely subjective theres no net no score no rules what of it?, im not sure i bought two colognes today the salesman sprayed one on each of my hands when i get to thinking, i cradle my chin and im overwhelmed by dolce and cerruti or something like that (big ramble) March 27, 2009 at 5:31 am i know a girl who twirls in the rain who lives in a dream and gobbles up men whos gonna crash hard i know a girl who ran out the door at the first sign of trouble shes crying with a babe on her hip knows this is no way to live you would know how she felt if youve ever lacked control or a silver platter i know a girl who had nothing but good looks and nice hips and a mother who barely knows she exists she's weak needs love the support of another she was built frail but has grown sceptical and will probably always push away the warmth of another i know a boy who was bought by the system who followed in his uncles footsteps made his father happy at the cost of his pride who loves hard and immature its one way to live he will probably be alright i know a boy who wants to die who puts a spike in his vain with a note on his chest that reads good bye hoping this next hit will take his life i know a boy that looks down on the rest its a cold hard world when you think youre the best i know a boy that knows its shit who loves freely but covets his seed waits for her to introduce herself his peer who feels the weight of thought who writes to breath who sings to feel who fills deep with smoke lungs tired of wasting air introduce to me a girl whose face fits in my hands whose eyes fix themselves on mine while she says what she feels i want her to love my body hang on my voice walk with me in thought turn diners into playgrounds parking lots and moonlight bedrooms with sunrise alarm clocks tick tock time's running out you're worried about cell phone plans? burberry hand bags? lexus or acura? good deed and sin? oh for christ's sake kid he wouldnt have died in vain if he were fighting for your freedom to live now what wasted virtue planning for the afterlife what wasted energy thinking of tomorrow quick scrap together some semblance of employment lets not lose our heads its not all fun but come on past filling your stomach and shelter from the storm what do you need? what can you take with you build things that wont burn in fires fabricate a life that fits in a backpack when i say lets go you have ten seconds to come with thats the life i want to live dreamworks presents March 27, 2009 at 4:57 am welcome to my world i call the shots dont carry a phone dont wear a watch dont report to work dont follow traffic signs skip court use fake checks to post bail squat in four star hotels eat clavier with a soup spoon spit on models wear the same pair of jeans every day get drunk replace sleep with speed steal everything i need cant i dream? i write rubbish but you might like March 27, 2009 at 1:23 am do you reckon your whole life you'll write of love lost hearts exposed waiting to explode if he shant double back and return things to the way they were these ticking heart bombs love fades for fuck sake love fades and should it last a day its worth it but regretting the loss is wasting a moment and god knows we havent moments to waste sitting here writing this i transcend im not sure if i exist bombs fly over head helmets set on rifles propped up by boots another soldier dead not me yet but every stroke of a key every thought i think every breath i take another step closer to (death?) unknown makes one want to love makes you seek desire yearn for touch or withdrawl ignore detaine thoughts of glee it takes alot to push aside regret and drive on with the mission regardless takes alot of apathy for your sake March 22, 2009 at 7:39 pm have you felt the bliss of affinity that brush with life ephemeral levity embrace it tonight no ifs ands or buts no what of tomorrow or friendship know what you want and get it if only for tonight is it fair of me to ask why? March 21, 2009 at 1:17 am lets talk about a girl we all know exists she smears make up on her face to cover the zits gets way to drunk at the bar wears a short skirt with a slit waits for some chump as desperate as her to bite spreading her legs covering the scars on her tits with a safety word tattooed on the small of her back takes them deep till water's in her eyes looks up at their face to gauge the surprise shes a rainbow with an empty pot of gold cause shes told everyone how to find it bangles on her wrists to cover the slits tries without end to feel she exists takes a pregnancy test with every piss hoping someday it will hit and into the world she could bring someone who doest see her suffering who loves and wants without question who needs and feeds off her affection and maybe (save pathetic) that would be the best thing ask me why i do it... March 20, 2009 at 1:18 am you may search forever and squander love shredding what should have been you may fall again for one who did not but held on for didn't know why it was easy for him to say goodbye it's excrement to think I could live and love with one with whom I didn't fight could you imagine what shit utter satisfaction would be? how pointless would life seem if baseball players hit home runs every pitch? you loved every song you heard got along with your boss never broke a bone had a six pack without trying got a one beer buzz but chugged a keg without getting sick fuckthatshit I love disappointment I love hating half the people I meet I love loving her like she'll never love me I'll continue walking around with both middle fingers up stealing whatever I please using everyone I meet it all ends the same be what you'll be stop March 19, 2009 at 3:56 am there's a sprouting tree for every fallacy brain washed squeaky clean cradle resting in its boughs rising to fall for a rude introduction (to the world) so built up so aggrandized sugar coated travesty kool-aide diluted hate materialistic ideals superficial friends a house built on the beach sure the sun warms the soul brine on winds of euphoria hypnotizing wave of sea blisters and corrosion the breeze angers your life sloshing out beneath your feet ants held up by thin legs stunted growth from a lack of support sand castles beautiful but weak your hollowness will coal mine silent canaries sudden collapses stain your skin leaning against a tree melting between its roots clawing the earth absorb the sizzle of a clove spying the surveyor eager to displace the dead parking lot the kids section mall the veterans wawa grandmothers 75 years you have 75 years then you have nothing next time you open your mouth to breathe ask why what will you use that breath for? you only have 600 million to spare no clue March 16, 2009 at 1:29 am cold like merc'ing babies robbing blind folks denying souls donate rounds ready to fight stepping over homeless to catch my flight caribbean associates illegal relations self made future allegiance that transcends nations friends facade you know youre in let doubt make guess second lose sleep hope wish buy in cast out lend more credit to your doubt ill be moving to fast to ask you in you out start small go out big die young or burn out but at least, live say it like you mean it March 13, 2009 at 4:33 pm say it like you mean it like it keeps your heart beating like its ground beneath your feet what haunts your dreams and turns your sleep what lights your day and guides your way like its the reason you haven't pulled the trigger random thought March 12, 2009 at 9:58 pm suck his teen-aged body clear into manhood what a thing to do you cougar in training wiping the sin from your mouth before leaving the confessional booth "ten hail marry's after i drop my goo" that's what's good for you? erer March 12, 2009 at 7:32 pm i know i am wrong for thinking im strong for singing this song instead of telling you how i felt while cursing my faith denying a god for the cards that he gave but believe me now is different im willing to lay it all out please see me for the truth that i bring with this love that i sing and a promise i hope that youll make that we try we try and should it not last we tried we tried we tried its enough to love March 12, 2009 at 7:08 pm someday we all learn that accepting todays embrace is worth a thousand hugs missing someone wishing she was smitten with your visage not the other way around but somethings stay the way they've always been and sometimes for a reason that your poor pathetic soul would cease to exist if somesthesia was missing i should heed the words of other lovers over heard in shadows of hands held ducking behind trash cans picking up people's carelessness while they kiss in moonlit bliss and teach me what it means to truly exist i could see whats all around me past the one i lost see the forest not the trees see my children playing tell my wife i love her now ive learned how to mean it every now and then a pure stroke of inspiration paints within your brain in words a vision of the sun low in the sky shining through her hair and every split end glistens silver lining every flaw but you pause and kneel she listens to you offering your heart in the shape of a ring that whatever new days bring no matter depth of mystery that you should be the one with whom she records history moon beams float March 12, 2009 at 5:43 pm here we are the ocean churning flirting with the coast we are the waves foamy fingers clawing sand and yearning to grow some legs and climb ashore to dance o-h m-y g-o-d the moon my only friend d March 12, 2009 at 5:19 pm once you learn to love one its hard to translate to another hard to convince yourself this time that its forever so its shuffling your feet downing one glass then another ruffling the fringe just to straighten it again im sure of how it ends but can find where it begins im sure ill trade a lover for an unknown again ffg March 10, 2009 at 3:53 am i am generally happy and maintain a sunny disposition i carry an awkward charm but ill look you in the eye ive been known to lie but its all in good fun im done making things happen it hasnt worked thus far im trying to learn to ignore thoughts about tomorrow and embrace today in anyway that i can im growing, and its painful from a boy into a man some lingerings remain of the youthfulness inside like pock marks on my face and dimples i cant hide muscles slow to grow a stride still not that sure my head leans towards the ground its easier to ignore and girls still make me squirm if i think there is a chance watch her tuck the hair behind her ear its worth sneaking the glance while she bites her pen preoccupied with the spin of her own life ill just pretend that in her head thoughts of me reside its worth the dream an escape from drought the flirtings been sucked out so what seems to be sincere always is shroud in doubt so fumble mess and act a fool a laugh will have to do its an escape from this life that makes every day full of gloom [randomness follows, and probably proceeds, my lack of skill hasnt stopped me yet, ill keep riding this train] think bump salad fork romp cherry tomato doused salad oil yum see the speeding semi (cross my heart) cross the street (and hope to die) oh what relief see us smile cheek to cheek always blurry cameras weak so in my mind i snap a prose to always remember that happy pose when you and i at once aligned an effort to immortalise for what brief moments in our mind we thought that we had realised we should have sooner revived these feelings we thought had died but batteries dead and slipped my mind we fought the dread but soon demised our plan had failed that we devised our promises proved to be lies. bklah March 7, 2009 at 4:58 am now and again there's enough of the upside to offset this down slide to make people realise its not the end of their life this isn't a tail spin don't cash all your chips in its a game that you can win though it might cost your pride to swallow it down on a bent knee taking the chance that she's ready to see or you could coast comatose and morose barely afloat for the rest of your life bobbing like an apple in the sloppy slobber water always wet draggled soaked up and tossed in the gutter bleh im bored and this isnt working iraq sucks im sorry and i dont know why March 6, 2009 at 2:24 am I'm void of empathy a failure to relate overwhelmed with apathy and unable to abate these feelings of remorse programmed in my brain by the tears of close friends whom dont know im insane so i stick to the cliches like everything's going to be ok the sun will come out tomorrow and you'll forget about today why do they let me hold them in my robot arms unable to keep them warm what do i offer? maybed March 5, 2009 at 7:48 pm i'm not quite sure, yet whether you fancy love or just cant help yourself need feeling wanted need never being alone need feeling needed is this your construction? how you're wired? so weak under your own power that it's always after another man to row your boat? believe me, leave me cause i'm not that stronger man who will tell you to go because i know what we both know id cash my last check for you and i'd stretch out my neck for you but you'd never return the favor to be honest you'd never go that extra mile because they keep line up and you keep knock down but maybe now its a sudden change of pace and you'll come back and maybe when you return to ground i'll still be around she's a lover, what can i say? March 5, 2009 at 3:19 am she looks wholesome but she only feels whole when she fills every hole her eyes are sincere as she begs them to come feeding on their manhood and savouring every one she looks elegant undressed sitting on that bed wearing several strings of pearls dripping down her chest the end. lets me be honest or try March 4, 2009 at 8:35 pm im not a very attractive man my jawline isnt very defined i have acne on my face and back my muscles dont show through the fact im slightly overweight ive got hair on my toes and bite my nails entirely too short im a bit of an asshole sometimes ive been known to brag about myself and even though im always joking, it annoys people ive got a comment for everything and think i know something about everything i doubt im particularly good in bed or have endowment to be especially proud of in fact, most will find the first try a complete miss i might satisfy you with a kiss, might im not particularly good at surprises and im a tightwad i drive a crappy car and sing loud and out of key while rarely actually knowing the words anytime i have a good thing going i tend to get nervous and fuck it up i overthink everything and fall way to quickly ive no sense of fashion or direction in life and nothing to offer to my future wife lets get to know each other and save dating for later March 2, 2009 at 6:56 pm i like girls that can put stuff together that wear sweat pants all weekend long i like girls that know the joy of not getting off the couch unless you have to pee that like infomercials and dont say "everything" (or country) when i ask them what kind of music they like i like girls that have strong opinions but arent offended when someone disagrees that sing even though they probably shouldnt that have long hair that gets in the way... i like girls that use their hands when they kiss* i like girls that know olive garden is shitty i like girls that enjoy a beer from time to time and arent afraid to get stoned and have a random day i like girls that dance to music in their head and occasionally treat me like i might die any minute and this is their last chance to make me happy i like girls who dont factor fuckability into whether or not they would like to go out with me i like girls who put stuff in their pockets and wear granny panties that dont care if the rain messes up their hair that dont care how cold the water is or if anyones watching that drive fast and blow through tolls i like girls who can talk about it and can chill with my friends thats not afraid to love Unknowni likes this. i may copy you and make my own. March 4, 2009 at 1:18 pm for they couldnt see (us) February 28, 2009 at 10:15 pm our families arranged within a room like black flowers filling a vase (there's a first for everything) a bicameral displacement trying to ignore the other party's murmur of blame doomed from the start? rest peaceful in a double entendre of escape and revenge courtesy of carbon monoxide readme. February 27, 2009 at 5:06 pm 001. Real name → Anthony Joseph Flammia 002. Nickname(s) → Flammia, Flim Flam, Flam, Flams, Bubb. 003. Zodiac sign → Scorpio 004. Male or female → Females, please 005. Elementary → Washington Street? i sort of forget to be honest 006. Middle School → Intermediate West 007. High School → Toms River South/North West 008. Hair color → Black 009. Long or short → Longer than it should be 010. Loud or Quiet → Usually pretty quiet 011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans 012. Phone or Camera → Camera 013. Health freak → i try 014. Drink or Smoke? → Both 015. Do you have a crush on someone? → No one I know personally 016. Eat or Drink→ drink i guess, thats stupid 017. Piercings → none 018. Tattoos → none HAVE YOU EVER? 019. Been in an airplane→ Yes 020. Been in a relationship → Yes 021. Been in a car accident → Yes 022. Been in a fist fight → Yes FIRSTS: 023. First piercing → n/a 024. First best friend → Mathew Chirachilo 025. First award → probably something from royal rangers 026. First crush → Ashley Giordano 027. First kiss → Jodie Crincoli or Nicole Fackenthal depending on your definition of kiss 028. First trip → Ive been all over LASTS: 029. Last person you talked to → SFC Sisler 030. Last person you texted → Kerri 031. Last person you watched a movie with → SFC Sisler 032. Last food you ate → Chocolate Protein shake 033. Last movie you watched → The last hitman 034. Last song you listened to → Pedro the Lion- Priests and Paramedics is playing right now 035. Last thing you bought → a shower spongy thing 036. Last person you hugged → kerri lol months ago (thats probably not funny but w.e.) FAVES: 037. Food → Chicken spinach and penne vodka 038. Drinks →skim milk, scotch 039. Clothing → jeans and a button up, i need better shoes 040. Books → factotum, post office, reading can be a waste of time 041. Music → feist and bazan lately always radiohead though 042. Flower-> irrelevant 043. Singer → bjork 044. Movies→ oh lets not go there today 045. Positions → missionary with the lights off only 046. Subjects → philosophy HAVE YOU EVER: 047. Kissed in the snow → yeah 048. Celebrated Halloween→ sure 049. Had your heart broken→ probably not 050. Went over the minutes on your cell phone→ no 051. Had someone question your sexual orientation→ yeah 053. Gotten into fight→ daily, confrontation is living, the best part is they dont even know i could care less 054. Had a transformation→ not a real one, i lie alot 055. Done something you've regretted→ no, maybe if i got caught i would have regretted it 056. Broke a promise→ often 057. Hid a secret→ Yes. 058. Pretended to be happy→ havent needed to really. 059. Met someone who changed your life→ not because they were awesome or anything, its just inevitable 060. Pretended to be sick→ Yes. 061. Left the country→ Yes. 062. Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it→ Yes. 063. Cried over the silliest thing→ nah. 064. Ran a mile→ Yes. 065. Went to the beach with your best friend(s)→ Yes. 066. Stayed single the whole year→ sure, not necessarily by choice but im not complaining CURRENTLY: 067. Eating → Nothing 068. Drinking → Nothing 069. I'm about to → go get something to eat 070. Listening to → Pedro the Lion (Bazan) 071. Plans for today → Chest workout, fix my computer after work 072. Waiting for→ the end of this shit YOUR FUTURE: 073. Want kids? →Yes 074. Want to get married? → yeah 075. Careers in mind → Police WHICH IS BETTER WITH A GUY/GIRL? 076. Lips or eyes → eyes 077. Shorter or taller? → shorter 078. Romantic or Spontaneous → Spontaneous 079. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach 080. Sensitive or loud → sensitive 081. Hook-up or relationship → hookup the whole time we have a relationship, does that make sense? 082. Trouble-maker or hesitant→ hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 083. Lost glasses/contacts → yeah, now i just dont take them out, ever 084. Ran away from home → yeah, right before christmas and a couple other times 085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → daily 086. Killed somebody → not directly, but ive helped 087. Broken someone's heart → probably 088. Been arrested → ive been escorted... 089. Cried when someone died → Yes. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 090. Yourself → kind of hard not to 091. Miracles → i believe some hings happen that are rare and hard to explain. if you are implying some superior power than no i dont 092. Love at first sight → love at first month maybe? 093. Heaven → what a petty and simple concept 094. Santa Claus → i see him at the mall sometimes 095. Sex on the first date → not if im really into the person, like mind wise, but a fucks a fucks when its just a fuck 096. Kiss on the first date → yeah, def if it fits ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → i honestly dont even know anymore, people change constantly 098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → im on the right track, i cant say im happy with my current location, but mentally im pretty tight 099. Do you believe in God → Not your god songs are hard to right February 26, 2009 at 5:33 pm im trying to write a song that anyone can sing with a message as universal as a diamond ring that transcends chords and notes that echoes from the soul that smells of wind and rain and feels like a new car barreling down the road i want to yell it loud so everyone can HEAR ME i want to twist and shout and dont care how it seems wander around aimlessly make turns down dead end roads then hop the barrier and see where where it would have gone wake (and sea) February 26, 2009 at 3:06 pm we are all people of those born with diseases we could not avoid missing limbs parents who didnt care fatal futures all roads that just end lower your shoulder and push with your legs hope you dont get pulled under should you find yourself looking up through diffused light hands folded neatly across your chest sliding into a casket bubbles slip from pursed lips in what they think is your sundays best take it in, breathe deep salted water the burns your last chance to feel alive taste their tears dripping from sorrow weak knees leaning over your body some will taste cold and bitter some will be sweet and drunk you can sleep why not February 26, 2009 at 2:39 am 1. The love of my life (mine, not yours). 2. Where you and I met. 3. Take a stab at my middle name. 4. How long you've known me. 5. The last time that we saw each other. 6. Would I ever go sky diving? 7. Your first impression of me upon meeting me/seeing me. 8. Am I funny? 9. My favorite type of music. 10. Can I sing? 11. The best feature about me. 12. What do I want to do more than anything? 13. What is one thing that you think I should do? 14. Do I have any special talents? If so, what are they? 15. Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else? 16. Have you ever hugged me? 17. My favorite food. 18. Have you ever had a crush on me? 19. If there was one good nickname for me, it would be. 20. Your favorite memory of me. 21. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, I would bring. 22. Do I believe in God? 23. Who is my best friend? 24. Will you repost this so I can fill this out for you? Ricky Pollon1. Me 2. The ridge 3. John? 4. what 8 9 years now 5. Your two week pass 6. yep 7. You were a tool (I was right) 8. Witty 9. Not one specific 10. You try 11. Loyalty 12. 13. Become a pilot 14. You can make a whole bunch of creative shit 15. Gay? 16. Brothers don't shake hands brothers hugg 17. Pasta? 19. Flams 20. Hasn't occurred yet 21. A fleshlight 22. Not my god 23 Me? March 1, 2009 at 5:38 pm Unknown1. Jenny Lewis or Leslie Feist 2. 9th grade, German class. 3. Joseph 4. 7 years 5. November 6. Yes 7. I don't remember what I thought exactly, but I know we pretended to be brother and sister for a week or something. We were insta-friends. 8. Absolutely, you winged jaguar. 9. Indie 10. Very well, actually 11. Your hands and eyes. 12. Very simply to be happy. 13. Absolutely come home from Iraq. 14. That thing with your tongue...hahaha 15. Nerdy, baby. 16. Yes 17. Probably your own homemade spaghetti sauce and pasta or pizza 18. Yes 19. Bub! 20. Any of our late night drives...probably the one that found us in Pomona at 4 in the morning. 21. Whiskey, a pen, paper, and a guitar 22. Not so much. 23. Me, Ricky. Me. 24. Email it to me. March 2, 2009 at 10:45 pm not really profound just a thought February 25, 2009 at 4:42 pm They say,"Christ, our Saviour, was born on Christmas day." Well, which came first? The chicken or the egg... feist please watch youll love it February 23, 2009 at 10:44 pm holy shit feist fucking rocks jesus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj1w0vxCC2w enjoy Ryan Adam-Thesis Berndtmushaboom mushaboom February 23, 2009 at 11:33 pm UnknownShe's incredible. March 2, 2009 at 10:45 pm work in progress February 22, 2009 at 10:35 pm thought id let you know your upper lip was always a bit rough you have a lazy eye that yellow shit on your teeth gave me the skeeves you have a bit of a mustache things never smelled quite right you dress like a tool and someone needs to teach you about makeup you need to learn how to drink without getting sloppy you shouldnt make fun of other girls... laying on your back every time makes things boring you suck at driving and youre a terrible singer i hate the music you like your family is trashy oh, and your happy trail is thicker than mine and so far youre all talk... Derek Mikaand your ass falls outta your pants February 23, 2009 at 12:17 am Unknownthis is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard. My list wouldn't be nearly as hilarious. February 23, 2009 at 10:40 am Ryan Chelstonhahahaha entitled "Ode to a very broad variety of women" February 23, 2009 at 10:50 am Anthony Flammiaunfortunately ryan this covers the few ive been with, theres more ill add later February 23, 2009 at 10:48 pm Stephanie Beardsleyi hope none of those were for mee : / February 24, 2009 at 12:12 am Anthony Flammiawe've never hooked up steph... February 24, 2009 at 2:17 am Stephanie Beardsleyi know but we dated for a hot minute in highschool haha either way i hope you never think that about me. February 24, 2009 at 9:00 pm Anthony Flammiai was a fucking dork !ohmy but we had degrassi and bright eyes February 24, 2009 at 9:33 pm Stephanie Beardsleyhahaahaoh yesss<3 lol February 24, 2009 at 9:35 pm mellowed out today February 21, 2009 at 8:30 pm folks always tout shit like live for today and never let an opportunity pass by chase potential love live like you're gonna die but id rather just be comfortable and not exert too much energy and enjoy the things that come to me and not fret about what ifs and why nots on the shitty days ill take the edge off with some liquid distraction and let smoke fill my mouth instead of sighs and frustration if i should happen to look left or right and theres someone there, too who is content with my company so be it if they are there consistently all the better if they should stray in search of some greater life something i cant provide so be it i hope they find happiness however they define it and if they come back want to share that bench but their feet under a corner of my blanket drink of me for a bit so be it i suppose joy could be a multiplier a bunch of happy people in a room might magnify the situation but when your goal isnt joy but contentness it becomes more achievable youre not digging your claws in the ground trying to slow your journey to the grave its a smooth ride take it easy and while i hope that someday i might share that ride with someone who is content with me who doesnt have to try to enjoy my company who understands and knows that the grass is never greener and latch on to what is good now seek contentness now dont fear settling if you plan to settle later you may never if you fail to settle now you may later if your content reading this i hope to find you on my bench sometime passing a flask with me talking about a days work with me worried about nothing with me ill sleep when my eyes grow heavy ill wake at the beep of my clock earn my daily bread listen to someone harmonize with his guitar through the speakers of my car on my way to work he's content she isnt worried about anything doesnt care what people think doesnt change to suit my fancies so be it holas February 19, 2009 at 7:10 pm saturday afternoons watching the sun tick across the sky the night will fall and weight our eyes and join us together to battle the cold beneath the comforter absent of clothes its dark its quiet youre warm i smell your hair taste your shoulder hold your hips i can live like this oh, i can live like this theres no birds chirping but the tea pots whistling and i know you know how i like it, simple pleasures we dont have a television but im content with your voice watching you stand in the door wearing my boxer shorts saying come to the couch we dont have to get dressed my cups half full and im not worried about the rest Ryan Adam-Thesis BerndtFUCKIN' RIGHT. February 19, 2009 at 8:35 pm taking a walk February 15, 2009 at 2:39 am do you remember? it was louddarksmoky you were smallcuteblond ive yet to hearwhatiam you moved updowninout i tried tokeepup there were no plans that i was made aware of but ive got someone to thank (i think) it was latecouchquickkiss i was going to be late but i didnt care we were carhandsdrive and next thing i know i bought a cell phone and yours was the only number in it there was watereddowntea and ramen noodles a big appetiteforlips connection of hips washing machine dining room table doing dishes liked by the family? stupid fivetimegoodbyes till incarsandbeds on tablescountersfloors and damn it was good do you remember? realings February 14, 2009 at 3:12 am how many lovers have passed shoulders in crowded halls with no point of reference for random encounters future that they should meet their grace a quick turn filled his face dirty golden blonde coconut burned into his brain dazed, missing his train have you felt passion? have you stood staring at a ticking clock questioning your life and kids have you felt heat between your own sheets since your finger wore a ring | are we creatures of | those for whom rationale | can reign champion | over a life defined | by instants | that make us alive (i hope not) you must have a title February 12, 2009 at 6:10 pm love is supposed to be a risk but i love her too much to lose her but do i love her enough to never have her? to idly stand by watching tides of which i've no control should i say with certainty take me now darling or forever distance keep? is that a risk that im willing to take and have her push me away? id rather be pushed away while telling the truth than fancied while telling lies and i love you enough that i want your happiness regardless of my presence oh this is a tired song i sing as if in black and white on flickered screens i could bring some semblance of understanding to this storm of emotions that you bring that i could shake tunnel vision when you walk into a room or ignore the static that lays background to your voice that my phone could dial a new number /break i wish i didnt get so queezy writing such rubbish but we give the people what they want the heartbroke kid that shares sympathy with the masses but its time to grow up and realize its not what you think that shes just another girl and a set of unfortunate circumstances fixated you upon her, undeniably desirable, but not worth the effort Ryan Adam-Thesis BerndtFuckin' lovin it. keep it comin antwaun. February 13, 2009 at 12:17 am baby February 12, 2009 at 5:40 pm baby your cheek fits so well in my hand sorry i left a mark now they know what you've known and they see what i felt written in a welt it's just, i could feel him inside of you like a knife in mine own chest digging for my pride well he got it so, for a week on your face wear my good-bye wowweee February 10, 2009 at 11:37 am do you remember the first time his hand made it past your waist you should have seen your face as you fell from grace sweat glistening dripped from that cross on your neck as you arched you back and rolled your hips with a kiss behind your ear he reached inside drawing you deep into a lack of control until, at his touch your body exploded i remember walking down the street the cat calls rang in you were still a boyish girl and they were mocking but you blushed and rolled around in 'hey baby's and 'let's fuck's now you're grown and you still can't take a compliment maybe February 9, 2009 at 4:29 am it's not the wind that sends me chills it's its playing with your skirt and hair dancing a frame about your face it's not giving my coat to keep you warm i like the smell after you've gone it makes that cold drive home feel a little less alone Unknownamazing. simply beautiful. February 9, 2009 at 10:31 am I love this shit February 4, 2009 at 1:11 am every step that i take down this often traveled street im crushing bugs, little bugs splash beneath my feet and every breath that i take of this dry harsh fridgid air i take in death, and exhale lust watch her hips shaking, debonair we are soldiers in a row listen to the war drum go bump bump pause bump bump pause we dont need a fucking cause we are soldiers, we are killers for the red white and blue with support from the willing... watch out we're coming through explanations? February 2, 2009 at 7:34 pm i havent figured out how to work this idea yet but i was thinking that sadness after someone dies is the ghost/spirit/soul type piece of that dead person as they try to interact with the living and when they move on and accept their death maybe the people who are still alive stop suffering which would explain why when old people die we are less sad they are more in tune with death and move on more quickly but little kids tend to cling onto their parents ya know? anyways i think poetry is trying to convey alot of thought and emotion in as few words as possible maybe not few but neatly packaged pressure is force over area thus saying the same thing with less words has a greater impact... the greaving's tears are the ghosts of dead lovers clawing their way back into the world when at last they find peace move on and stop their haunting the tears can cease Unknownlove the last paragraph, minus your spelling of grieving's February 4, 2009 at 11:24 am feelr January 31, 2009 at 11:55 pm ive got my feelers out for someone half as damaged as me so we may lie in a pool of ruin and at least not feel so alone. while the kids laugh in the streets pushing ropes in circles bouncing balls into speeding cars experimenting in bushes with love and drugs getting kicked out of classes and wearing colorful cloth submitting to higher learning recreating and procreating until retirement and warm deaths surrounded by legacies all i can manage is to not piss myself while i lay around in the comfort of green and brown glass shards unfinished floors scattered with cardboard last weeks newspapers i can barely manage to drag a shirt over my head and lace up my shoes to stumble out for another bottle of disconnection another pack of occupation 20 a piece full with hopes of taking 20 years off this parade this rainy parade is it too much to wish not to march alone? Anthony FlammiaI'm a fan. January 31, 2009 at 11:57 pm UnknownWay to compliment your own work in the comment section February 1, 2009 at 11:17 am Anthony Flammiasomeones gotta do it February 1, 2009 at 10:16 pm highly spirited January 31, 2009 at 11:46 pm there are few things im sure of but alot of things i think i think i may never be comfortable meeting people i think i may never be able to sit still i think i wont ever enjoy employment for the long term or find satisfaction with my work i might never define my mood or tell a girl how i feel and kiss her without pretension Unknowni disagree with the last two lines March 2, 2009 at 10:49 pm oh January 31, 2009 at 2:56 am i just felt us die what levity i wake up and brush my teeth in the mirror with unequivocal apathy i piss on the toilet paper in public bathrooms im a kid with the keys got the world on a string of trinkets and spares my finer side doesnt exist yet but ill drive fast with the music loud and the windows down in the dead of winter throwing beer bottles at stop signs and kissing at red lights Unknowni love this so much February 4, 2009 at 11:24 am Ricky PollonOur past experiences? February 8, 2009 at 4:55 am Anthony Flammiaour future Ricky. February 8, 2009 at 2:07 pm Ricky PollonWell played sir February 8, 2009 at 2:10 pm Unknowncan i be the godmother of your children? February 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm Anthony Flammiafuck you, you snaggle toothed bitch... rawr February 8, 2009 at 2:24 pm Unknownmy snaggleteeth are gorgeous, thank you. March 2, 2009 at 10:50 pm Unknownricky i'll fight you for him. March 2, 2009 at 10:50 pm Ricky PollonI fight dirty March 2, 2009 at 11:01 pm quicker January 30, 2009 at 9:49 pm amongst the towering towers on city blocks where aristocrats all own the lots the peddling merchants sell their wares to pay the toll booth’s measly fares the vicious cycle fuels despair adds a bite to frigid air that hangs a cloud throughout the years the generations all revere as inescapably contrite it brings the dark, defines the night don’t know how long we have to fight to love and laugh and live then die quick January 30, 2009 at 9:49 pm life really isn’t hard rest your weary frame on a bench next to me and huddle beneath this poncho we’ll find the bottom of a bottle let nicotine stain our teeth the sun doesn’t rise from our ocean but the warmth on our backs and my hand on your waist is a good enough life for me friends January 30, 2009 at 1:51 am the quality of a friend has nothing to do with how much they can give only how much they can take Unknownlove it January 30, 2009 at 11:26 am ill go January 29, 2009 at 2:57 am lets pile this shit up make a sculpture of our bullshit and let that motherfucker burn dance around it through the night lets find the bottom of several bottles of black label and see the end of a few bags of grass lets fight the sun with donuts and warm beer fuck like hippies with hats off on a park bench blow my load on a dew moistened sodden field bugs bite your breast skirt backwards panties torn thats a morning for which i yearn i never wanted you its just that my hands fit around your waist and i could put up with your face and the sound of your voice was bearable the scent of your hair not quite appalling the way you twisted your mouth while painting your pinky toe's nail you never quite got the hang of the finer points like knowing what glass of wine should be your last or whether to speed or slow for yellow lights our life together was pretty mundane a pack of gum at seven eleven i hate the kind with the little flavor crystals you agreed they feel gritty fast food was never an option many a grumbling stomach after a long day fill it up with a spinach salad and a dram of scotch blow smoke rings in each other's faces and dish the day i never wanted you, really if one should ride the sentiment that we are born disjointed unions and a soul mate was the one that filled my gaps that gave my voice authority theyve locked many a man away for saying 'crazy' things for thinking crazy things id like to think of each day as another opportunity but thats rubbish its another opportunity passed ive no urge to smile at passers by no urge to waste that energy im inside here plotting away how can i sleep well tonight without my stomach wrestling my spleen gut cockle wrestling match to you January 28, 2009 at 4:07 am let me write a note right to you while talking to you (you wont believe it, my saving grace...) you're self destructive too much too fast causing system failure diabetic sugar rush gas on fire chase cans a blaze crack spray boom gone hair brow-less gaze your hips slam open doors your gaze sweeps over the room voices mellow murmuring whispers that fucking slut soap box larceny a penny for her thoughts surround while i swirl my hand follow me, down the streets we march off a cliff she pulls the cord watching them trash upon the rocks i think January 27, 2009 at 7:27 pm it doesnt matter your like building blocks to me i love setting them up and crashing my tonka truck right into that teetering stack of fading wooden blocks changesd January 27, 2009 at 7:16 pm if its holla im black hola im spanish hello... white middle class american disaster with one for the money two for the show three to the head singing dope boy go allah on his knees bombing ali al saleem as the yankees ride out shit grinning teeth sheen rape pillage shout oil barrels in tow watch our morals slip how low can you go yeehaw ride a missile into the wild blue yonder we just do what we're told no time to ponder children dieing in the streets of our american cities while im chasing down another drink with some sugared down water cause the koolaide soothes souls pacifies the masses lovers seek another to turn out the lights fake passion to feel alive we kiss necks we saw it in the movie and ignore hands, fingers, toes: little builders writers match lighters phone dialers typers clickers sand draggers fucking cant think about 20 little life changers tie one up make yourself a FREAKK taught January 22, 2009 at 1:43 am we are taught to lie because the truth doesn't always fit we are taught to love those withwhichwhom we share dna while they fuck babysitters double speak judge because we all cry we all can feel small we all will die and now is more important than then than what they did who they are... we string our webs of support and try in earnest not to get caught in our lies... trammy January 22, 2009 at 1:36 am Can i sing one for the people drowned in seas of bottles glass blown from sand bordering the drowning pool of frothy ale that lured them from the shrinking land chilly people aren't enough to stop the earth from pulling its icy caps over its face to cry alone as its neighbors orbit unmolested dancing around their star on this earth that weeps and blows its nose at its unestrous inhabitants just a swarm of men chasing closed lipped vaginae they bare the worlds snot a drip dick gift you get what you get Jesus, Dude! None of us know what to do with you... January 21, 2009 at 9:28 pm If you make a reference to some trouble that you know Can it help you keep it under control Or should I really reconsider My reasons for going solo David Byrne on Bob Costas puts it pretty well But I put it better I still run the show Don't you forget it So I had to let some go Don't think I don't regret it Because I do and I don't Think I'm better off alone Man I could have made a big sound But I love to let me friends down Fewer moving parts means fewer broken pieces When every other start requires a brand new thesis One good friend remarks with a rightfully angry Jesus dude! None of us know what to do with you To which I in pride responded I've got news for you None of you have to 'cause I still run the show Don't you forget it So I had to let some go Don't think I don't regret it Because I do and I don't Think I'm better off alone Man I could have made a big sound But I love to let my good friends down -David Bazan XX January 21, 2009 at 9:11 pm Jaundiced eyes on a blue day leave her wading in a see of green with envy cant she see shes already got all she needs see her twirling in the rain cursing her red dress bleeding through to cotton white panties but life is worth living a kiss is worth taking a hand not held will atrophy find a pocket a hug wasted will find a pillow to wet with tears i see this vision the goodyear blimp slides in close, silent to see our faces blank but talking slides out nothing there our love is growing in a coma like a child after head trauma life slides past till he awakens to a new body and doesnt know how to move his legs lets take that first unsure step out of the comfort of bed its a new morning and this life is worth living one foot in front of the other to keep from falling till a full gate striding through a field chasing the warmth of sun the smell of evergreen the taste of your hair i wont let go the warmth of your breast my hug was made for your hips i love you most while scratching your belly with my unshaven chin wake you with a kiss on the cheek its worth the stir to see you turn and the first bat of your eyes is for me Unknownthis is one of the best poems you've ever written January 21, 2009 at 10:13 pm Low January 20, 2009 at 10:10 pm I think you have nice teeth and i have low standards we could be happy together i think if you drank and i drank we might find each other interesting i think awkward mornings could be reconciled if we could muster a decent breakfast the next few years could be relatively painless if we fucked with the lights off we could trick our children if we worked different shifts and tried not to hug in front of them if i pretended you were someone else and we kept it short we might kiss without getting sick if we went to parties and didnt talk about each other we might keep some friends we could definitely make this work as long as we dont try to love and dont expect anything because seriously do you think two people like us could find anyone else? I think January 17, 2009 at 2:43 am Hell is not being with the one you love because she believes in heaven Happy is stepping over the homeless on the way to a show Love is settling for her because you worry she's the best you can get Friendship is lying about not wanting to be with her (If I could count the times we betray each others trust inside our own minds) // I like the theme, didnt pull it off well. add it to the list of things to come back to // come in January 16, 2009 at 1:44 am obscurity the blessing i met in high school has repelled friends whom weren't worthy made clothes cheap and happiness appreciated but we've since parted ways an amicable disunion and I'm accepting applications. who January 16, 2009 at 1:33 am id like someone to breath words to flow through my veins long blond hair tickling my thighs nails tearing skin on my back hard to explain to my wife anything January 15, 2009 at 3:50 am i implore you to do anything not to forget that you're alive talk to strangers buy a tea watch the birds trace Orion's stride across the sky a finger pointed at the great unknown for god love for reality hate for luck wish for fate leap for the future plan for death live but ride the tides in the mean time a dingy on a cold night a bottle of jack and painful love one and a half oars fight the current to whatever beach you can manage to crawl up sink your fingers deep into the sand hold it as fast as it falls ive got nothing a place to work January 10, 2009 at 11:07 am scattered ideas ill toy with later im collected everypart of me fits within the span of my arms i can crunch it down to fit in pockets or dip a brush in it and paint i feel like open hydrants on a hot summer's day kids playing with my power i wash away the heat but everyone knows i cannot last and no one cries when im shut off to think the water that could bring such fun could be the same that saved a life dancing in that irresponsibility suddenly feels dirty (terribly miscollected group of thoughts there.) I want you to kiss me January 10, 2009 at 5:52 am I want you to kiss me Like you were stealing my lips Like it was illegal but you don't care Like you can’t help yourself because it gets you high Like it’s how you breathe And you are underwater Like I taste like chocolate and burn like whiskey in your stomach Like we were gods And the roll of our kiss Felt like thunder On a hot summer night Like my hands on your back And my breath on your neck Feels like the womb Like our mouths are our souls’ back yard And they are playing like kids Like it was getting dark And we hid in the bushes Talking about growing big Like we met after our dates ditched us at prom Like we were at a green light And didn’t hear the cars honking behind us On a street corner With envious passers by Like this is goodbye At the corner of two nameless roads And we might not get another chance Like you want to every day Until we die Like I'm headed back to war… Like there are guns to our heads And you’re ready to die with me (i really like this concept, but i cant quite pull it off right now)!boink I don't have time for you. January 10, 2009 at 5:14 am 'Cause, !FUCK if your afraid of losing your job i don't have time for you and to talk to a stranger that one legged guy who refuses to sit down on the subway because he is NOT crippled you are for asking fuck his pride but admire his spirit and hack your left leg off one day and span the globe in search of unknowns and end up back flat on your face cause if you played life right you can lean with a friend who until now didn't know how to thank you or your all alone but your happy on the street with nothing to eat from the edge you can turn around and claw your way back into the beauty through the pain follow the grooves of finger nails back to where empires fell where lives collapsed where you left your son on a bench don't cry walk up slow don't scare him away no one honestly gives a shit about yesterday they fucking don't no matter what you say a thousand times they don't so stop using this excuse to prolong the abuse cause all we have in this life is each other and if you don't want that fine be that way kill yourself right now because no one cares about yesterday but if you have an overflowing sense of pride and you cant admit that you're the reason the love died and if you cant submit to the fact that shes moved on found a new father for you son crawl back into the womb and collect your short comings organize them into neat piles on shelves bid them farewell because now its time to climb out and take a stand for the carbon copy of yourself be a man Lesson #1 January 9, 2009 at 3:45 am So You Want To Be A Writer if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don't do it. if you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don't do it. if you're doing it for money or fame, don't do it. if you're doing it because you want women in your bed, don't do it. if you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don't do it. if it's hard work just thinking about doing it, don't do it. if you're trying to write like somebody else, forget about it. if you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. if it never does roar out of you, do something else. if you first have to read it to your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your parents or to anybody at all, you're not ready. don't be like so many writers, don't be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don't be dull and boring and pretentious, don't be consumed with self- love. the libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. don't add to that. don't do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don't do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it. when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. there is no other way. and there never was. -bukowski write write, right right? January 6, 2009 at 5:15 am the propositioning of a wawa cashier (in D#m7) i should know by now how not to be a creep so stop me before it starts cause, though, it's hard to see past such glaring imperfections take a gander at my friends and question their affection with a dose of understanding you may join their ranks however tried and few take it for what a creep can offer but the next i chose to take this test is you far away but inside you lets play a game tonight run away in black and white talk memories remember that instant when nothing mattered? embrace that we only have those moments they are few and sparse dont forget who you were with how they felt about you as they felt about you and smiled on your lips the warmth of two bodies occupying one space you're not dieing it's peaks from valleys when you hold yourself at night cause im not there (im thinking of you, somewhere) i desire, feel that? hear my words let's tangle minds lose yourself in my music my little pantomime (I cant put one i really want to because its offensive, so if your interested in some edge send me a message) i cant count the times i pushed you away and looked back hoping you were looking too i cant count the times ive run away wishing i could last the circumference of the earth and end up back with you or the times ive choked back words hoping you would say them instead the times ive failed to turn goodbye hugs into first kisses the times ive grazed your hand with mine hoping theyd catch by some magic of chance youd save me from flopping like a fool am i too shy, too much of a coward... to see this one through? i see people become prey to gods (ha, earthbound marauders with lumps on their junk from dipping into the scum) merchants of false hope turning nonsense loose on desperation (doesn't fix anything makes the problem worse) reaching deep into ratted pockets past the few remaining crumbs to consume their pride but be sure to tip the house that does not but denounce and not to help you out just wheeling barrels of shit to fight your climbing the curve it just goes to show you deserve nothing you only get what you earn. go ahead put it all on the horse that never bothered to show oh but 'hes risen once, love of that i am sure' if faith were worth half of the effort it took id have a career (but bahhh bahhh follow the leader) theres no wool over my eyes even the blind require touch smell hear taste tests to believe not you's singing 'i just wanna be a sheep' and 'my faith is sufficient for me' cut the cancer out of your life (be strong, believe on your own.) this is no toy chemistry set this is real life graduate level shit but youre clumsy mixin a splash of passion with a gallon of madness separate it and bang it together you got an explosion whatd you expect? James Flammiaapparently, when in prose, the mis use of english is acceptable.. I am quite certain I have earned my right to mis use it..... January 6, 2009 at 6:24 pm Photoshop December 29, 2008 at 6:26 pm If anyone wants anything photoshopped... I'm no expert or artist, but I like to play with stuff. Every now and then I make something good. Give me some pics and a few ideas and ill have at it. More please December 21, 2008 at 2:53 am (throwback) settled in discomfort sheets made of stone this is what i call home this is what i call home youve never been this consumed by your own youve never felt this felt alone a crowded town no one around youve never felt this felt no one around i pick up these pieces become one with the ground dont think about up too consumed by down ive never been this happy before before life without you never knew just what love never knew love never knew love never knew love never knew love never knew love never knew love i slipped and called you hun whoops! dont try to shake this cradle balanced in a tree dont march a band beneath it and wake this sleeping child its taken this long, dear to wrestle him to sleep i fear becoming dull (am i suited to friendship?) and the moment i run dry mid may the ice been melted by the sun beats down the heat is on and ive not to offer but a scorching tan from sedate days that life abate avoid my grooves dont bear my strife dont start this decent and waste a life... find yourself a jongleur his twists and flips with colored balls his wrist it flicks to play a song he sings of you and sweetness, friends with him youll smile till the end never once a restless night rock and roll till after life ill just watch till you seek my ear when you need slow and want me near when it gets old and your feet ache my rough hands will make you whole again my arms will clutch tightly your forehead kiss fingers hair there there child, bliss there there ill be your ramparts ive always been my walls just waiting to let you in im steady still and dull ill be but you can count on me is that not comforting? Caitlin McCormickant u wrote this??? very pretty, but somewhat depressing... whos the last parts about? December 21, 2008 at 8:57 pm Caitlin McCormickp.s. loveee uuu n miss u!! December 21, 2008 at 8:57 pm less than 700 verbal may require dictionary once or twice December 19, 2008 at 7:19 am there's too much unsaid that's voluting my head I’ve said things to hurt (lies) and things to mend (tries) I’ve placated and bereaved told bold faced lies to aid in your healing to pardon my envy and it's time for this to stop before this grows too heavy we've come to far to lose ground now one step backwards will send us stern over bow and the water's too cold to make the swim out *click* so you've told me (and I trust you...) to just spill my guts to lay it all out no ifs ands or buts and I’m scared and I’m weak my legs can't handle this riffleting mass I’ll feign to purport the flame of a candle I’ve reached out and touched I know I know better but that doesn't mean much the beautiful snake I’ve seen in the yard though you bear your fangs to not reach out is hard succubus, in your clutches this nightmare is bliss stab me again just one more kiss oh he's come along? I’m his back-up support I’d tell you about it but I fear your retort I’ll make you give this up this game that we play one day to be close the next run away it’s as if I repulse you from inches away from across the room all day I could stay let my words dance around you endearment run free wrap yourself in my song my love is free and you take full advantage of my heart that doth skip when you walk in the room oh a sorrowful blip it says give up my son there is reason to quit on her every action is no way to live but I feel the murmur starting to lift and the tidal forces beginning to shift I’m awaiting the balance from which we can start working through matters that trouble the heart and maybe the kinks out enough oats have been sewn and you’ll finally see what you should have yet known it’s at least worth a shot and if it turns to be trueAF you can give up this game and let me love you suffix: this is a good example of letting a simple real life emotion spiral into erraticism. I find that maintaining a rhyme scheme and pulse draws the biggest twists out of what otherwise would have been pretty bland and obvious. But i dont try to make things feel. Almost everything is the first draft unless i reread it later and really get an itch for a change. i never set out to rhyme, i dont think rhyming should be so attache to poetry, but once it starts its hard to break away from. things surface as chunks in my brain and it almost hurts to change my initial thought. I like misusing words or completely stretching their meanings. an attache is like a diplomatic specialist. most would think i forgot the d in attached, but i found a connection between a person being a diplomat for a cause and rhyme being a diplomat for poetry, promoting it. i usually dont try to explain anything i write. if you have read this far you have got to be bored out of your mind, so do me a favor and use some of this extra time you have to critique the shit i write. point out weaknesses or word play you enjoyed. better yet, id like to hear someone interpret a piece or all of a poem of mine. or just say it sucked dont read anymore. scatter December 18, 2008 at 2:01 am I don’t think so I’ve chosen not to believe that particular point of view you’ve gotta be careful swinging with the tides the owl is effortless and quiet he takes life but is not called a murderer but he cries for forgiveness in the night alone and untamable the jet screams across the sky no sense of self few fly of passion without pretension it’s really beautiful sometimes a tin can full of people they can’t sit still not on that plane not in their homes there’s nothing over there I always tell myself and I never listen they make medication for that that prevents screaming through life it slows you down so you can enjoy yourself only you aren’t yourself you’re robbed of precious thoughts ambitions desires self people trade self every day in search of some higher calling no one wants to struggle and no one should yet they struggle now to save struggle later as if to say the first half of their life is less important than the last I break it down thusly I’m going to die tomorrow ( I don’t know which ) I’m growing mentally and unhindered physically and I’ve got time to fix mistakes so it’s the seat of the pants until it’s not for me but not screaming it’s a slow gait there’s a rhythm in ones breathing how they fold their hands what they look at where their passions lie I’m passionate about being I’m passionate about loving I do it freely I seek beauty in strangers and when I, though rarely, find it its game on dropped the puck two minutes on blast I’d rather fight than be bored or complacent accepting of a slowing metabolism show me the tapestry your thoughts weave or walk away and no remorse, please it was a good run recharge and maybe we do it again sometime no one who has loved another can let that go it was there no one changes we add to ourselves amplify certain aspects of our being but it only takes a breeze to set into motion a devolution to a former self don’t let die don’t try better don’t make friends don’t alienate or judge do everything at once do nothing for weeks get fat emaciate dieing the status quo is not dieing its failing to live strive for a funeral you deserve so many don’t deserve funerals it should be a thank you for giving everything not the mourning of a life that didn’t live some more to ignore December 18, 2008 at 1:53 am dry is a bit of a reoccurring theme for me lately I stay drinking water but I can’t shake this drought my kiss must lack passion, I thought my blood flows gently throughout my body there’s a general discomfort in my eyes red as if crying but lacking in tears I seek to cure this, as most would maybe my instincts are misleading the caterpillar doesn’t fight the cocoon, he builds it embraces and accepts it we as humans may not experience physical metamorphosis but can’t deny evolution of thought and demeanor I yearn to become a man a desirable, charming man sophisticated and well clothed less jeering but instead I fight to maintain skepticism cynicism nihilism anti-establishment... ism chasing isms is no way to live I think everyone’s primary goal in life should be developing an unwavering sense of self it is then that he has something to offer then he should seek the company of others we are taught from such a young age the importance of socialization this forms a self fulfilling prophecy a round robin of sorts the moment we begin to entertain thoughts of dissatisfaction loneliness boredom we seek the solace of others we seek to share our misfortune pain discomfort this is forwhich misery spreads do you know of the passion that exists between two people whom meet and share common discourse and flourish in joy this stage usually lasts but a few weeks or months until the disconnection (from the world) begins to fade they weren’t stable without each other they aren’t stable together in order to build a house you must begin with a sturdy platform my hope is to offer a stable foundation I’d like to meet someone with the same ambition and build that house a house without limits that grows with love into a home kiss deeply with a thumping pulse and cry tears at the sight of my first born I would like to become a man I want her this desire is insatiable for her touch her blazing eyes to feel her cheeks flush beneath my hands her heart race chest against mine her knees weak hands searching my back confused drunk with a kiss upon her neck a tangle of passion writhing beneath sheets racing to come then not wanting to leave its clammy hands fingers interweave soul searching eyes not believing what you see catching your breath as the passion fades to love holding in your arms a gift from God above its drunk at 3am with all your friends but all alone she’s passed out on your lap and you have no idea why you stroke her hair it’s a seniority complex and feeling like you don’t belong it’s being happy but questioning why she says she’s yours but she’s with some other guy? its offering nothing and receiving acclaim and feeling guilty that you don’t care its ambition led by fear it’s being an upstanding citizen only when people are watching its making friends just to keep the disguise it’s when you realize your tired of holding up this charade but finding your too weak to give up the game Poems? December 16, 2008 at 4:35 am SO, I think I'm going to start throwing some writings up here. I doubt anyone will take interest in them, but please, feel free to comment and critique whatever you read. best seats in the house between your legs on the couch reruns seen that is it tuesday? yeah... lets watch house. my hands on adventures wandering down your calves along your foot till, this little piggy is mine trace your arch and moving up between your thighs feeling what it is to be alive and on your hip a perfect place my hand to sit while i steal a kiss commercials on stains be gone store bought sauce retreat? no, its on its this game we play lets go slow, it ebbs (dont blink) it builds, then flows tectonic shift heart beats drop... sweat beads glow lips with not but to anticipate this is kids fuck wild and spontaneous the parents out? who gives a shit sprinting out of designer clothes (they look better on the floor) a body to be sung about (woman, you make me wanna shout) i kiss your breast and hold your throat watch your eyes succumb to lust work my way up, my hips on yours and find that spot beneath your ear i want to stop i wish i could leave my body and watch me love you (ive got it on a slow drip you couldnt handle the full dose) its down again what sweet refrain to meet the place that life begins between your legs silk runways to bliss its at this point i know you trust me your fingers in my hair begging me onward it starts soft about and builds gently riding your tide from inside and out how long can you hold on? while im chasing chills until you explode (ecstasy) Aaron Baschdamn boyyyyy. thatsa babymaking poem right there. December 18, 2008 at 12:38 am

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